The Grand UK Forum Awards 2012 Gala Ceremony

The Grand UK Forum Awards 2012 Gala Ceremony has begun!


The Grand UK Forum Awards 2012 Gala Ceremony begins

The votes have been counted, smelt and verified, the prizes have been buffed and my pants tightened. Now, I can proudly announce to the world the winners in each category!

Voting was particularly aggressive this year, with one person in particular trying to vote at least five times. We've caught the cheater and spanked him, and adjusted the results according to the Brown-Sibley manouvre, documented in Cuppin and Cuppin (1986).

Now that the formalities have been heartily dispatched, we move on to the gala award!

Without further ado, let's now announce the winners!

As each winner is announced, we expect you to come up to the stage, bow to the spiritual king of the forum J0rg, and make a brief speech. We know you've all taken this very seriously this year, so please don't be too disappointed if you've missed out.

Now, without any further formalities, let's roll out the red carpet, and announce the winners!

There is one winner in each category, except when there are two. Double winners are legally obliged to share the monetary value of the prize.

Let's go!

Jimmy Savile award for nicest poster: DejaVu


Jonny2mad award for craziest poster: Etherea


The J0rg memorial fund for the poster is who most likely to have died: ripple / paulfreespirit

 

UKIP award for best foreign poster in the UK forum: The Imaginary Being


Joe Pasquale award for funniest poster: Lithium


Jaitaiyai award for absentee poster: Jaitaiyaiji / opel_diamonds

 

Phew! So, the job falls to me to provide the delicious filling for this Gala sandwich in only a few minutes time. I suggest we all the the opportunity to congratulate those lucky winners already announced and warm up for the next round of announcements during the interval.


arty:

 

We're back, and the mounting tension is near palpable as we are about to dive into some of the most coveted awards of 2012.

Before we begin, I'd like to thank rollingst0nes for providing nibbles and musical entertainment during the interval.

Without further fuss, let's get down to it!

The Mitt Romney trophy for most comedically right-wing poster: Joony2bad


The soiled underpants award for least welcome returning poster: An unsurprising result- OdonII


Jeremy Kyle award for smugness: Very tough competition in this category this month...with a lead of only half a vote: showmet


Sidneyisinlove award for most fictional poster: Beachball


Well done guys!

 

The George W Bush award for most eloquent poster: Fingermouse


Saddam Hussein jury prize for most liberal poster: With a whopping 6 votes- Clairex


The ceremonial Jaffa Cake for best newcomer: Lilyallyloulikins


The Margaret Thatcher memorial g-string for most elderly poster who is not yet dead: Etherea/Opel_diamonds/Power14

 

Holy fuck-crumpet! I won! The creepy pedo molesterer award, but why look a gift horse in the ****? I feel swelling in my bosoms. I love. I crackle. There are fleeting feelings of hope and regret all intermingled like rain drops in the rain. I weep. I trickle.

O wales! Wales! King of the ocean! Remember the alamo!

 

The atmosphere is joyful and hope glimmers in the eyes of those who are yet to receive a reward, but a secondary interval is to be called for new votes to be pushed forward and everyone to calm down from the last few emotional announcements. Ribena and Curly Wurlys are available for 5 euros at the back of the theatre.

 

After a short delay during which the judges have received new votes, after much debate we have granted special dispensation to some latecomers. Most categories are unaffected, but one or two have now an additional joint winner!

Thanks to those who have given speeches so far, and thanks also to RainyDayHype for the beautiful dancing during this extended period of cogitation. Now, without further ado, let's announce the rest of the prizes!

The Nick Clegg award for the least promising poster: Joshua Tree


The Noel Edmonds special prize for the person most deserving of an award who isn't otherwise notable in any way: Rolling_St0nes



David Cameron's special pudding for best UK ethnic minority (Irish, Scottish or Welsh): Roamy / The Imaginary Being



The Andrew Sachs award for the poster with the poorest sense of humour: au2phobia

 

The Best Hollyoaks Style Teenage Drama in the UK Forum: Nynysuts and Finnaz for the hilarious hand up skirt incident


Just two left to announce now, Mr UK Forum 2012 and Miss UK Forum 201! We will break for some traditional cheese and baps before announcing the winners! Who's it gonna be?!

 

Before we move on, the judges have decided to announce a late jury prize! This is a sympathy award for the best person making a comeback that nobody remembers at all! Congratulations Harpo. You get this lovely plate of cheese:

 

There have been some reports of fighting outside the auditorium due to the intense passions this event always stirs. Please, everyone, the prizegiving is now over, the judges' decision is final, and there will be no more votes accepted at this late stage and no amendments to the advertised list of prizewinners. All prizewinners are invited to step up to the stage to collect your prize, we will endeavour to protect you from the missiles that are curently being hurled from some quarters of the audience...

I APPEAL FOR CALM

 

The final prize! Step up to the stage, please, MR UK FORUM 2012:

Lithium!


And MISS UK FORUM 2012:

Fingermouse!

We'd just like to thank everyone who voted for us this year, once again we are the reigning champions, the most adored couple, the darlings of the UK forum! We are so grateful for your respect and adoration, we will endeavour to serve and conquer you all once again next year!

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!


Jeremy Winton awards the prize for Mr and Miss UK forum 2012 for the fifth year in a row

 

Quel surprise

 

Just time now for some entertainment from ... I introduce to you ... MR BENJAMIN RICHARDS!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QLTA_yE3SA"]Cliff Richard - Devil Woman (feat. Rosemary Ford) - YouTube

 

:hide:

 

I am truly honoured

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wC8JX7bTtBk"]Kevin Ayers - Stranger In Blue Suede Shoes

 

Gavin Cameron, the Welsh secretary of Wales and King of Britain offers his solemn thoughts on this momentous day

 

As the dust settles, the fires are eventually put out and the final straggling partygoers leave the scene, we can now reflect on the past year's achievements, successes, failures, the highs, the lows, the in between times, the songs, the dances and food. Ah, the food.



Thanks for all your votes, your generous hearts, your kind spirits, and your copious vomitous, thank you all for another incredible year in the amazing, the inimitable, the frankly jizz stained UK FORUM!

Give yourselves a round of applause, you've all done very well!
:computer:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1N4t51IVQ5M"]"You've all done very well" - YouTube