"The Perfect High" by Shel Silverstein

TopNotchStoner · Sep 1, 2008

I believe I have posted this before, as have other people, but I wanted to repost it for those of you who've never read it, because it's cool as hell. haha

Lyrics to Perfect High (Or The Quest For Gimmesome Roy) :
There once was a boy named Gimmesome Roy. He was nothing like me or you.
'Cause laying back and getting high was all he cared to do.
As a kid, he sat in the cellar, sniffing airplane glue.
And then he smoked bananas -- which was then the thing to do.
He tried aspirin in Coca-Cola, breathed helium on the sly,
And his life was just one endless search to find that perfect high.
But grass just made him want to lay back and eat chocolate-chip pizza all night,
And the great things he wrote while he was stoned looked like shit in the morning light.
And speed just made him rap all day, reds just laid him back,
And Cocaine Rose was sweet to his nose, but the price nearly broke his back.
He tried PCP and THC, but they didn't quite do the trick,
And poppers nearly blew his heart and mushrooms made him sick.
Acid made him see the light, but he couldn't remember it long.
And hashish was just a little too weak, and smack was a lot too strong,
And Quaaludes made him stumble, and booze just made him cry,
Till he heard of a cat named Baba Fats who knew of the perfect high.

Now, Baba Fats was a hermit cat who lived up in Nepal,
High on a craggy mountaintop, up a sheer and icy wall.
"But hell," says Roy, "I'm a healthy boy, and I'll crawl or climb or fly,
But I'll find that guru who'll give me the clue as to what's the perfect high."
So out and off goes Gimmesome Roy to the land that knows no time,
Up a trail no man could conquer to a cliff no man could climb.
For fourteen years he tries that cliff, then back down again he slides
Then sits -- and cries -- and climbs again, pursuing the perfect high.
He's grinding his teeth, he's coughing blood, he's aching and shaking and weak,
As starving and sore and bleeding and tore, he reaches the mountain peak.
And his eyes blink red like a snow-blind wolf, and he snarls the snarl of a rat,
As there in perfect repose and wearing no clothes -- sits the godlike Baba Fats.

"What's happening, Fats?" says Roy with joy, "I've come to state my biz.
I hear you're hip to the perfect trip. Please tell me what it is.
For you can see," says Roy to he, "that I'm about to die,
So for my last ride, Fats, how can I achieve the perfect high?"
"Well, dog my cats!" says Baba Fats. "here's one more burnt-out soul,
Who's looking for some alchemist to turn his trip to gold.
But you won't find it in no dealer's stash, or on no druggist's shelf.
Son, if you would seek the perfect high -- find it in yourself."

"Why, you jive motherfucker!" screamed Gimmesome Roy, "I've climbed through rain and sleet,
I've lost three fingers off my hands and four toes off my feet!
I've braved the lair of the polar bear and tasted the maggot's kiss.
Now, you tell me the high is in myself. What kind of shit is this?
My ears 'fore they froze off," says Roy, "had heard all kind of crap,
But I didn't climb for fourteen years to listen to that sophomore rap.
And I didn't crawl up here to hear that the high is on the natch,
So you tell me where the real stuff is or I'll kill your guru ass!"

"Ok, OK," says Baba Fats, "you're forcing it out of me.
There is a land beyond the sun that's known as Zaboli.
A wretched land of stone and sand where snakes and buzzards scream,
And in this devil's garden blooms the mystic Tzu-Tzu tree.
And every ten years it blooms one flower as white as the Key West sky,
And he who eats of the Tzu-Tzu flower will know the perfect high.
For the rush comes on like a tidal wave and it hits like the blazing sun.
And the high, it lasts a lifetime and the down don't ever come.
But the Zaboli land is ruled by a giant who stands twelve cubits high.
With eyes of red in his hundred heads, he waits for the passers-by.
And you must slay the red-eyed giant, and swim the River of Slime,
Where the mucous beasts, they wait to feast on those who journey by.
And if you survive the giant and the beasts and swim that slimy sea,
There's a blood-drinking witch who sharpens her teeth as she guards that Tzu-Tzu tree."
"To hell with your witches and giants," laughs Roy. "To hell with the beasts of the sea.
As long as the Tzu-Tzu flower blooms, some hope still blooms for me."
And with tears of joy in his snow-blind eye, Roy hands the guru a five,
Then back down the icy mountain he crawls, pursuing that perfect high.

"Well, that is that," says Baba Fats, sitting back down on his stone,
Facing another thousand years of talking to God alone.
"It seems, Lord", says Fats, "it's always the same, old men or bright-eyed youth,
It's always easier to sell them some shit than it is to give them the truth."
Click to expand...

seizedbyanger · Sep 1, 2008

omg that is an awesome poem.

Astrofabrical · Sep 1, 2008

Wow that was great.

TopNotchStoner · Sep 1, 2008

Hell yeah it is. Shel Silverstein was a kickass mofo haha

seizedbyanger · Sep 1, 2008

i can't believe he died. like every year since like 2nd grade if someone would bring him up i'd be like he died like last year and i looked up his death and he died in 1999. i've been off a few years

stalk · Sep 1, 2008

Do you know when this was writ?
I love it! He was always the best when I was in dreaded elementary school.
Thanks for this awesome post

TopNotchStoner · Sep 1, 2008

1999 doesn't even seem like it was very long ago, then I realize it was 9 years ago and it makes me feel old. haha

TopNotchStoner · Sep 1, 2008

I have no clue when it was written, stalk. I'm curious now though, so I will go find out. haha

TopNotchStoner · Sep 1, 2008

Here's a link to a bunch of his poems: http://www.ihatemen.com/poems.cfm?catid=13&status=1

On that link, it says that he originally sibmitted The Perfect High in 1979. Not sure when it was written though.

TopNotchStoner · Sep 1, 2008

Here's another one I like from that link:sifone:

The Smoke Off
By: Shel Silverstein

In the laid back California town of sunny San Rafael
Lived a girl named Pearly Sweetcake, you prob’ly knew her well.
She’d been stoned fifteen of her eighteen years and the story was widely told
That she could smoke 'em faster than anyone could roll.
Her legend finally reached New York, that Grove Street walk up flat
Where dwelt The Calistoga Kid, a beatnik from the past
With long browned lightnin’ fingers he takes a cultured toke
And says, "Hell, I can roll em faster, Jim, than any chick can smoke!"

So a note gets sent to San Rafael, "For the Championship of the World
The Kid demands a smoke off!" "Well, bring him on!" says Pearl,
"I'll grind his fingers off his hands, he'll roll until he drops!"
Says Calistog, "I'll smoke that twist till she blows up and pops!"
So they rent out Yankee Stadium and the word is quickly spread
"Come one, come all, who walk or crawl, price Just two lids a head
And from every town and hamlet, over land and sea they speed
The world's greatest dopers, with the Worlds greatest weed
Hashishers from Morocco, hemp smokers from Peru
And the Shamnicks from Bagun who puff the deadly Pugaroo
And those who call it Light of Life and those that call it boo.

See the dealers and their ladies wearing turquoise, lace, and leather
See the narcos and the closet smokers puffin’ all together
From the teenies who smoke legal to the ones who've done some time
To the old man who smoked "reefer" back before it was a crime
And the grand old house that Ruth built is filled with the smoke and cries
Of fifty thousand screaming heads all stoned out of their minds.
And they play the national anthem and the crowd lets out a roar
As the spotlight hits The Kid and Pearl, ready for their smokin' war
At a table piled up high with grass, as high as a mountain peak
Just tops and buds of the rarest flowers, not one stem, branch or seed.

Maui Wowie, Panama Red and Acapulco Gold.
Kif from East Afghanistan and rare Alaskan Cold.
Sticks from Thailand, Ganja from the Islands, and Bangkok's Bloomin' Best.
And some of that wet imported shit that capsized off Key West.
Oaxacan tops and Kenya Bhang and Riviera Fleurs.
And that rare Manhatten Silver that grows down in the New York sewers.
And there's bubblin’ ice cold lemonade and sweet grapes by the bunches.
And there's Hershey’s bars, and Oreos, case anybody gets the munchies.
And the Calistoga Kid, he sneers, and Pearly, she just grins.
And the drums roll low and the crowd yells "GO!" and the world’s first Smoke Off begins.

Kid flicks his magic fingers once and ZAP! that first joint’s rolled.
Pearl takes one drag with her mighty lungs and WOOSH! that roach is cold.
Then The Kid he rolls his Super Bomb that’d paralyze a moose.
And Pearley takes one super hit and SLURP! that bomb’ defused.
Then he rolls three in just ten seconds and she smokes 'em up in nine,
And everybody sits back and says, "This just might take some time."
See the blur of flyin’ fingers, see the red coal burnin’ bright
As the night turns into mornin’ and the mornin’ fades to night
And the autumn turns to summer and a whole damn year is gone
But the two still sit on that roach filled stage, smokin' and rollin' on
With tremblin’ hands he rolls his jays with fingers blue and stiff
She coughs and stares with bloodshot gaze, and puffs through blistered lips.
And as she reaches out her hand for another stick of gold
The Kid he gasps, "Goddamn it, bitch, there's nothin' left to roll!"
"Nothin’ left to roll?", screams Pearl, "Is this some twisted joke?"
"I didn't come here to fuck around, man, I come here to SMOKE!"
And she reaches 'cross the table And grabs his bony sleeves
And she crumbles his body between her hands like dried and brittle leaves
Flickin' out his teeth and bones like useless stems and seeds
And then she rolls him in a Zig Zag and lights him like a roach.
And the fastest man with the fastest hands goes up in a puff of smoke.

In the laid back California town of sunny San Rafael
Lives a girl named Pearly Sweetcake, you prob’ly know her well.
She’s been stoned twenty one of her twenty four years, and the story’s widely told.
How she still can smoke them faster than anyone can roll
While off in New York City on a street that has no name.
There's the hands of the Calistoga Kid in the Viper Hall of Fame
And underneath his fingers there's a little golden scroll
That says, Beware of Bein’ the Roller When There's Nothin’ Left to Roll.
Click to expand...

stalk · Sep 1, 2008

black widow

seizedbyanger · Sep 1, 2008

that poem totally makes me think haha

if i could smoke for a whole year.. with someone else rollin for me.. and free lemonade and grapes and hersheys bars and oreos..

<3

deleted · Sep 1, 2008

nice.

DroneLore · Sep 2, 2008

That was great.

wutthe4k · Sep 2, 2008

heh that poem was great man thanks for posting it

weedwhacker · Sep 2, 2008

man our class never read those poems in 2nd grade lol

never knew he did mature stuff like this too.

TopNotchStoner · Sep 2, 2008

Yeah the only Shel Silverstein poems we read in school were "Where the Sidewalk Ends" and shit like that. lol

Stella_Drives · Sep 2, 2008

Where the Sidewalk Ends is still great though!

weedwhacker · Sep 2, 2008

TopNotchStoner said:

Yeah the only Shel Silverstein poems we read in school were "Where the Sidewalk Ends" and shit like that. lol
Click to expand...

lol yea same here

i can't imagine the class reaction if someone read these though

Stella_Drives · Sep 2, 2008

I know this is really lame, but Hug O War is my favorite Shel Silverstein poem...

I will not play at tug o' war
I'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses
And everyone grins
And everyone cuddles
And everyone wins.

Awwwwwww

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"The Perfect High" by Shel Silverstein

TopNotchStoner Georgia Homegrown

seizedbyanger Banned

Astrofabrical Senior Member

TopNotchStoner Georgia Homegrown

seizedbyanger Banned

stalk Banned

TopNotchStoner Georgia Homegrown

TopNotchStoner Georgia Homegrown

TopNotchStoner Georgia Homegrown

TopNotchStoner Georgia Homegrown

stalk Banned

seizedbyanger Banned

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DroneLore h8rs gon h8, I stay based

wutthe4k Mr. Mojo Risin'

weedwhacker TFM Bro!

TopNotchStoner Georgia Homegrown

Stella_Drives Senior Member

weedwhacker TFM Bro!

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"The Perfect High" by Shel Silverstein

TopNotchStoner Georgia Homegrown

seizedbyanger Banned

Astrofabrical Senior Member

TopNotchStoner Georgia Homegrown

seizedbyanger Banned

stalk Banned

TopNotchStoner Georgia Homegrown

TopNotchStoner Georgia Homegrown

TopNotchStoner Georgia Homegrown

TopNotchStoner Georgia Homegrown

stalk Banned

seizedbyanger Banned

deleted Visitor

DroneLore h8rs gon h8, I stay based

wutthe4k Mr. Mojo Risin'

weedwhacker TFM Bro!

TopNotchStoner Georgia Homegrown

Stella_Drives Senior Member

weedwhacker TFM Bro!

Stella_Drives Senior Member

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