The sense of belonging one has

The more that person will give importance to formalities, traditions, rituals, Christmas, holidays, gifts on mother's day, etc.

Right or wrong?

 

I'd think so.

Maybe not to those particular mass traditions in all cases, but at least to what is traditionally important to one and his friends and family.

 

Yeah, I was just thinking that I do NOTHING symbolic almost. And that probably has to do with the fact I'm an immigrant.

Marginalia.

 

Right. I guess.

I mean.. I can't stand Valentine's Day and Christmas and that commercial shit. I get along well with my family, though.. I should have a sense of belonging but when I think about .. I never think of myself as my mother's or father's child, I want to be a higher entity.. Not higher or better than them exactly but just sort of separate.

This is hard to explain, I might get off topic here.

 

Be my guest.

But I'm also thinking of larger collective identity --- culture, neighborhood, country, nation, etc.

 

Yeah, same here. I was thinking about that as I read this thread.

I have been an immigrant for all of my life ever since I was 4 years old. I've never felt a true sense of belonging in a certain country or such, it was never "my people" and it was never a permanent home.

It's something that haunts you a bit, something that seems to be missing. I do think that I'm experiencing something like it when I'm in college. I've made some truly amazing friends over the years, and have way too many acquaintances... I know the town extremely well, and am known enough in it to have strangers approach me telling me that they have heard about me from someone. It sucks that I'm going to graduate in a year or two... but it's truly wonderful to feel like you belong somewhere.

 

Where are you from Praxis?

 

It's funny but I'm also a little well-known in certain circles.

But I only get the sense of belonging in Rio. Going to a traditional restaurant here is a chore, in Rio it gives me communion.

But that might change soon.

 

Rio de Janeiro. But born in Paris, France to brazilian parents.

Came to New York a teen.

 

Pavel, where are you originally from?

 

Why?

If it's not too personal, of course.

 

Came with my father. He was a visiting scholar.

You know what else happens?

If I have a dream that mixes either environments or people from Rio and New York, I get deeply confused and distressed in my sleep and the whole thing takes the tinge of a nightmare. Though nothing bad might be happening in it.

Sometimes I jolt awake and for a few seconds my heart is pounding while I'm trying to figure out whether I'm in Rio or New York.

This has happened repeatedly for the last 14 years of my life.

Fun.

 

oooh. French and Brazilian...I knew I liked you for some reason.

 

Hehe. Flirty flirt.

 

I know what you mean, back when I was flying back to Israel for the summers while I was living in Honduras even something as small as buying some falafel from a street vendor seemed so culturally ceremonic, while buying falafel in a restaurant in Honduras just seemed mundane.

Big big big snow covered Russia. St. Petersburg, to be exact.

Close to you, I've even been to Estonia a couple of times as a little kid, used to have an uncle in Tallinn.

 

as a navy brat, i never really belonged anywhere, either, even though i was always on american soil. didn't matter one bit when every year you're making brand new acquaintances and swimming new shark tanks. but dave was born and raised in one very particular region. he's deeply committed to traditions and holidays. it's been very interesting trying to learn them and dig up some interest. if not for dave and the girls, i'd never have a christmas or whatever. i'm just not the sort. but for him and the girls, it's become a lot of fun. i feel more connected when i go through all those rites and such.

 

It's interesting, actually. I lived in Spain for two years and I did have a sense of belonging there. But I couldn't stay there longer for certain reasons. My country of origin is really the last place where I feel a sense of belonging.

 

Ah, cool. Not much to see here but.. still another country to add to your visited places list.

 

This is interesting to me.

I've met a bunch of people in my life who absolutely hate where they are from, they hate the U.S., they hate white people.

They usually travel a lot and have a romaticized vision of the third world.

And yet, they are white Americans. Usually suburbanites, which should tell you something.

But anyway, I don't know what it is like to hate where I'm from, or my ethnic background, or my country of citizenship.

 

I'm really digging this thread, another thought just came to me.

The way I actually do feel a sense of belonging here is when I'm with someone who gives me good energy. A girl usually. I mean, it doesn't have to be a romantic thing at all. It's just when two energies match and you're having a cigarette at dawn and stuff like that. Then it's a belonging shared with the person, a feeling of floating. I guess it's a sense of .. belonging into that moment. It's temporary but damn if it doesn't feel good.