The truth about cats.

Discussion in 'Random Thoughts' started by Meagain, Feb 7, 2013.

  1. MeAgain

    MeAgain Dazed & Confused Lifetime Supporter Super Moderator

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    I am a cat owner, that is to say I am owned by cats. I have always lived with cats, except for my five year incarceration in college. But even then I would keep in touch with them by reading up on the Adventures of Fat Freddie's Cat in the newest Freak Brother's comix.

    So, I thought I knew them pretty well. So I am abashed, and even a little ashamed, to admit that it has taken me close to 61 years to discover what's really going on.

    I have had a revelation. About 15 minutes ago.

    Check this out. I had laid down to take a nap, one of the few pleasures of the aged, and of course, as soon as I started to drift off cat number one jumped up onto the bed, landing on my chest, and proceeded to commandeer 1/2 of the surrounding area.

    Next, as I relapsed into the nether world, cat number two arrived, on my chest. And settled in on top of my feet.

    Then, of course, 5 minutes later, cat number 2 3/4s fell out of the sky on top of my solar plexus causing extreme pain and agony. To me, not him.

    So I started thinking.....

    Have you ever noticed, if you have cats that is, that when you take a nap, they show up to sleep with you.
    When you sit down to eat, there they are.
    Watch TV? Pet me please.
    Going out for a walk? Sure we'll come along....

    All the fun things!
    But start doing some work.
    Where are the cats? They disappear. Sure, they say to you, "That vacuum is so loud! We hate it!" Sha-whoossss, they're gone!

    But turn on the blender! Oh, noise is not so frightening now, is it! Now that food is involved! The little snakes.

    So they're lazy! LAZY! I had thought that they liked to help out now again when they'd show up with a dead chipmunk or bird or something. But now I get it, they want me to skin it for them! Then they'll take it back!

    Well, I've had enough.
    I told my wife, but she won't listen. (Of course what do expect from someone who's hooked on live cam Eagle porn?)

    So, now I don't know what to do.

    AND, by the way, have you noticed how they're taking over the internet?
     
  2. Thing one

    Thing one Banned

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    I love cats too. They are selfish tho. Dogs are more loving, but the peaceful presence of the cat is soothing and homely I think.
     
  3. Irminsul

    Irminsul Valkyrie

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    Cats and dogs understand human emotions. They know when you're interested in them and know when you aren't. They will also observe you all your life so them coming to you when you're relaxed and watching tv or sleeping makes sense and them not wanting to hang around when you have no time for them makes sense too. They're animals, they've got their own agenda too.
     
  4. Maelstrom

    Maelstrom Banned

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    I love cats, but my most recent cat is completely different than any cat I have ever known. In essence, not all cats are the same. This cat does not like to be held, she does not like to be pet, she does not want anyone near her, she is a veritable independent loner. She never meows and she is never underfoot, and those are probably her two best qualities, because normally she is always misbehaving and running around like the evil beast she is.
     
  5. cynthy160

    cynthy160 Senior Member

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    George Carlin used to say some great things about cats and dogs.
     
  6. Thing one

    Thing one Banned

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    They say we share our psychic life with our pets. I send mine love all the time and I think I get it back?
     
  7. Lynnbrown

    Lynnbrown Firecracker

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    LOL! :D I LOVE this! and YES...I completely agree with you.

    When I want to nap but still need to settle in/down, Brownie Brown always shows up - prepared to still me! That is the surest sign of my love and devotion..that I try to still myself. This is more than I have done or would do for a human. :p

    The sound of the vacuum is repellant, but if I even approach the can opener, he is there before an entire turn is completed...no matter if he was previously in what appeared to be deep sleep.

    Yes, I am also owned...I don't do the owning. I wouldn't change it for anything.

    (I greatly miss being owned by my sweet kitty below, Grey Socks...he's waiting on me.)
     
  8. Brudof

    Brudof Member

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    I always liked cats but they seem to hate me (I'm also severly allergic). I've owned 3 cats, all of which have been outdoor cats. It's like they're bipolar or something. One minute they're your best friend and the next they bite you or don't want anything to do with you. Maybe it's because they were outdoor cats? My friends cats aren't mean but they're very standoffish. I wish they just stayed kittens :)
     
  9. Thing one

    Thing one Banned

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    Nah, they wouldn't hate you....You have to understand the many sides to the nature of the cat. Bites can be playful or mean, depending on whether or not you have hurt their feelings. My burmese would launch at me from a tree in the darkness of night out of no where if I had been gone too long. Id have to crawl back into her good books. If I left her for a night she would turn the place over. Dig in the pot plants, pull the bin over and empty contents on the floor, then a couple of launches from a tree or worse... under the bed late at night....Gotta love them.
     
  10. Tyrsonswood

    Tyrsonswood Senior Moment Lifetime Supporter

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    Cats are dependent ninja children that you can't claim on your taxes...
     
  11. MeAgain

    MeAgain Dazed & Confused Lifetime Supporter Super Moderator

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    So...I see that some of you have also been taken in by their "charm" and "kitty love".

    That cute little purring sound and wiggle on the floor as you draw peace and calmness from petting their furry little carcases. Then they snap at you with their fangs, and slash you with those five little switch blades!

    Oh, so cute.

    Well, we'll see. Tomorrow, after I wake from a troubled sleep in a cat infested bed; I AM NOT going to turn on the water faucet in the bathroom so cat number one can get her drink! Thinks she's the Princess of Purr does she? We'll see, we'll see.

    ..second thought, I'm shutting the bedroom door tonight.

    So there.

    And by the way, the time number two got poisoned...he faked it. Yeah. Just trying to get pity, using me. And I fell for it. The old stiff as a brick, legs straight out deal. Saw it on TV. Looney Tunes I'm thinking. When he was watching TV with me.

    What a sucker I've been.
     
  12. GLENGLEN

    GLENGLEN Banned

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    They Say Pets Mimic Their Owners...[​IMG]



    Cheers Glen.
     
  13. Isadoran

    Isadoran Member

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    Actually cats are very healing. Their purr is an ultrasound and they know when you are ill. Here is a article about theories of a cats healing ability. So yes they seem lazy but it is for a reason.
     
  14. cynthy160

    cynthy160 Senior Member

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  15. Heat

    Heat Smile, it's contagious! :) Lifetime Supporter

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    I years ago adopted a cat from the Humane society. He was a Russian blue and I loved that furry thing to bits but he had a little bit of a cat side to him.

    I have not owned a cat since as for some reason I developed allergies to cats once he passed away.

    At the time I had a dog, guinea pig and a budgie and this cat and they all played together at the cats whim, of course. :)

    I think my dog would have thought this...........
     
  16. antithesis

    antithesis Hello

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    I love my cats so much it is ridiculous

    Here is one of them in a box

    [​IMG]
     
  17. Maelstrom

    Maelstrom Banned

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    Even my cat loves boxes. What is it about the boxes that they love?
     
  18. antithesis

    antithesis Hello

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    I'll admit that I love a good box as well... for example, here is me in a big box:

    [​IMG]
     
  19. GLENGLEN

    GLENGLEN Banned

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    ......:2thumbsup:



    Cheers Glen.
     
  20. MamaPeace

    MamaPeace Senior Member

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    Cats definitley own their humans.

    My two kittens are crazy. They fight over me in bed, who gets to sleep snuggled against my chest and who is left with the feet. Then in the middle of the night, whilst I am deep in slumber, they sneak off and cause havoc. Imagine waking with vegetables on your bed, ones that you forgot to put back in the fridge after using for dinner that are now makeshift cat toys scatteted over your bedroom.. They fight and play on top of me when I'm in bed, I will be suddenly woken by claws in my face as a cat dashes across my head.

    But then theres those awesome moments where they both come and chill on my lap, and purr and snuggle their heads down and i could just stay there forever
     
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