My boyfriend died sometime last night or early this morning. He was upset because situations out of our control were keeping us apart on Valentines Day. He started drinking, and never stopped. Our friend Chad found him, but by then it was too late. He had gone into a coma. He had a lot of issues to deal with, but he was doing so much better. He had started going to AA meetings. He told me he wanted to change, to start over. Now it's too late. I can't find anything to help me get used to this. For the first time in my life, I have nothing to fall back on. Every song I hear makes me think of him. Every place i go, I'm reminded of something. The only thing I have left is to write, to let people know what happened. Mostly I'm worried about his family. We'll never know if Kyle know what he was doing, if he left us on purpose. The fact that maybe that's exactly what he was doing is so painful. I can't stop thinking about his family. His mom has already lost one little girl to cancer, now Kyle is gone too. And his little sister is sick, maybe with lukemia too. As much as I am hurting right now, I know that it is nothing compared to what his poor mother is feeling. So please, pray, send vibes, whatever it is you do, for him and his family and friends. Knowing that there are people out there who are thinking of us will make this so much easier. Kyle was a beautiful person. He had a spirit that was amazing. He had a way of making people smile. He never let me have a bad day, he always made me see the good in everything that happened. He showed me how to love, how to believe in the good of people, of the world. He gave me the courage to be true to myself. He gave me the strength to get past my dark times and step into the light. I am who I am today becuase of him. He made me believe in love, in peace, and in unity. If for no other reason, I must continue to believe in those things for him. I know that he would want me to work for peace and love. I can only hope that someday his dream will come true. Thank you for listening to me. Thank you for being a place I can go to find comfort. And please, never forget to live each day to the fullest, to love the deepest, to stay strong and relish every moment with your loved ones. You never know when it will be gone.
oh my dear, im so sorry! Its never easy to deal with death. My best friend in the entire world died of a cocaine OD and im still not over it. just be there to comfort yourself and the ones that knew him. have peace in your heart and never forget his spirt as im sure he will never forget yours... lots of love.
I just found this now, sorry to be a bit behind...what an awful thing to have happen, I'm so sorry for your loss and pain. Sending you lots of good vibes *hugs* and whatever else you need.
