TOTALLY confused! Please help

Hey all, this is my first post

Ok, so i hope some people can help me or clear up some stuff.

So I think im bi and i really like this guy who has a girlfriend (but he acts very feminine). So we got drunk together and whenever we drink together (just us two alone and only two times) he gets really close to me. Well the last time we drank things seem to really spark. To keep a long story short...After we got tipsy and then drunk we walked around hand in hand and he told me that he was really upset cause he was bi and he was into me. When we finally sat down (we were pretty damn drunk) we started making out. We used a lot of moaning and rubbing. He eventually unzipped my pants and started rubbing my penis and licking my chest (he told me he wanted to make me cum). It really did get pretty intense, but it did end there. So we sat up and just started making out again then eventually fell asleep.

So I commented to him later the next day saying that we shouldn't regret what we did the last night or anything and he agreed but also said he didnt really remember anything. I told him what he told me about being bi and all. He then told me that he really isn't bi and that maybe since we were talking a lot that just came out. (Idk sounds pretty lame to me, when he was sober he said that im an attractive guy.)

So now I'm totally confused...I mean i really do like him and i thought we had a major connection that night so i was happy, but now im pretty upset because of his "sober comments" about NOT being bi. I mean he does still have a girlfriend. I dont know...I'm sooooooo confused. Are drunk comments, really sober thoughts? Please help and tell me what you think is going on. Thanks!!!!

 

no straight guy no matter how drunk will go as far as your friend did with you. your friend is at least bi, if not gay.

the reason he said differently while sober might be because he was embarrassed in front of you, or it may be because he is not fully comfortable with being bi/gay. either way it's something you can work with.

 

Well I think that he isn't ready to admit to himself or the world that he's into guys and he does have a girl friend. I think that you shouldn't expect much from him I don't think he will give you what you want. He will be good for a drunk rump maybe further down the line he will be what u want but not now if u want to press the issue go ahead but it will a rode full of heart ache

 

Thanks for the responses so far. Yea, i kind of thought that that was really far for a "straight" guy. I told him that I wanted to have a talk with him sober and alone, and he agreed. So hopefully we can admit something together? While drunk, he did say that he didn't want to be bi...but he really liked me. So maybe he is too shy still to come out and say it to me.

Well im not hoping for anything "big" to happen anytime soon...but maybe in the years to come (while in college and stuff).

Here's more... I always catch him looking at me and we usually text everyday sometimes I will text first, then sometimes him.

I am also not "out" that I'm bi... but I hope we can admit it to each other and keep it between us at least.

 

Yeah, seems to me is just doesn't want to admit to others that he is into guys... he is probably confused and scared of what people may think....when are do u plan on comng out cooldude...i know it must be tough

 

Be careful with the textiing u don't want to leave behind anything anyone can find. U should have code words and stuff. Im not saying u can't rust him but some one might see his phone like his gf.

 

Well I am hoping that when we have our talk together alone...we can admit that we like one another and promise that no one else has to know. I only plan on coming out to him as of now or anytime soon. I just want him to feel comfortable and admit it to me sober. This will be a first step. Is this a good plan?

And yes, i am careful with the texting...I dont say anything too awkward through texts that his gf would see and be able to wonder. I dont think she sees his phone anyway. It's funny cause whenever he invites me and his gf to his house...he never sits next to her. hmmmm....

 

yeah that's a decent plan. it's one of the things i thought of saying in my earlier post, try to make him feel comfortable. sounds like you got it figured out.

good luck.

 

Agreed a sensible plan u have there keep us posted I really hope it works out and y'all have like a secret romance lol

 

Thanks guys! I do have a good plan...but are there any ideas that you might throw out there? I don't wanna just go out and say that you are bi (or gay) and you should just admit it to me. But I do hope that he will trust me and admit it...because now I can never believe that he is 100% straight. I like the secret romance idea! I'd be fine with that! lol

 

Well don't like start with that u know bullshit for a while u know like how's it going and all that then u should just be like "I don't want to freak u out and im not expecting anything but I need to know how you feel about me" some shit like that I dunno u know what to say

 

just take it easy and go with what comes naturally. start talking about yourself and as you go along you can ask some questions about him.

 

Yea it definitely won't feel awkward. We always talk a lot. I'm not worried about that. I just don't want him to get upset or feel bad about himself.

 

Make it about u like how does he feel about u how u feel and what u think this way he can agree or disagrees and doesn't feel attacked

 

That's true. But he claims that he can barely remember what happened that night. But I feel the need to tell him what he did. Do straight guys normally make out with other guys when they are drunk alone? Or is this an attraction and he is just too confused or nervous to admit it. Cause he told he that he wasn't bi over a text message.

 

Some guys do especially young ones

 

But I felt that this was a much more stronger connection than just making out. lol

 

Well talk to him and find out

 

I will... and yea on his facebook he has interested in women. But i mean anyone can put that down. And he is 18 so he's not that young lol

 

So I had a talk with him yesterday. He pretty much came out and said he was attracted to me and that I was attracted to him also. He never said that he was bi though. He said he's only attracted to specific guys and that I was one of them. But he really wants to have a family when he gets older and wants kids. He said that he would never have a relationship with a guy, but he finds certain specific ones hot. And he said the reason that he went that far on me was because he had the chance to do so because I'm so good looking. So in conclusion, it was pretty much we both agreed that we like specific men and that we weren't 100% straight. But he said that he would never have a relationship with a guy. He said he would have never done anything like that sober. He said that girls find other girls attractive...so why can't guys like guys too? He said the thought of gay sex repulses him.

Not too sure if I still understand it all. He still speaks and acts very feminine. Maybe he felt that I was pushing him to admit that he was bi and didn't want to? But maybe life experience will work as he grows up and he will understand his sexuality more?