Does anyone here feel they have difficulty with interacting (being socially talkative) around other people? This could be for with anyone you know, family, friends, reletives, newly met people. I OFTEN feel that everyone else flows into themselves a lot easier then I do. By this, I mean that when people talk with other people they are completely being themselves, where sometimes I dunno what the hell to think and I won't know "who" or "how" to be. People seem consistent, where I tend to change. ITs understandable that different situations call for different changes in personality, and you can never be the same. but there always seems to be a barrier, a wall , that holds me back from being able to even interact care free. Im always thinking about it, overthinking about it, and thats NOT a good thing. I dont like having this forever occuring issue, it makes me feel mental, but im not ashamed. PLEase, if you can relate, tell us about your thoughts.
I feel ya. I get all nervous and weird, especially at family functions. Doesn't make any sense. I've been around these people ALL my life but throw me in the middle of them and I don't know what to do. I usually just find a spot out back to smoke and hide out, and use that as an excuse for why I'm out there all by myself. Can't figure it out and it's kind of a bummer. Wish I could find a way to bond, fit in, whatever but it just isn't happening.
I know exactly how you feel. I'm usually pretty shy around people, especially people I don't know well. But I realized that I only have this problem when I'm sitting there thinking about it, and thinking about what the other person thinks of me. When I stop giving a shit about that stuff and just try to connect with the other person and have a good time, it's usually not such a big deal. Overthinking anything doesn't do any good and just fucks you up, so just go with the flow. It takes practice, I'm still not there myself. Old habits die hard, you know? But seriously, thats the best advice I can give.
It bothered me till I hit about 20, then I stopped caring about what people thought. I don't recommend it. Can you imagine going through life, really not giving a crap about what people think? Every person that takes the image they create seriously would be angry at your lack of interest. Ugh.. people are strange.
but its better to go through life not carind what people think of you!! When you start thinking about how you think people think of you, then you can start to get anxious. Why be bothered by this? Give your mind its freedom by not carind about what others think of you. do what makes you feel good. Giving a crap about what people think, when its not about you, is different, i dunno if thats what you were talking about.
I only get this way around people I've known a long time. Strangers are easy for me. If I know I never have to see them again it's great, like not having to clean up your mess, being able to avoid consequences. Just pretend everyone is a sock-wearing stranger, and good luck to you.
I can certainly sympathize - with both the original poster and with Blackie, as well. I have social anxiety disorder as well as borderline personality disorder. In general, this means I have a very difficult time interacting with people, and a lot of that is based on the fear of rejection or difficult relationships when I *do* interact with them. I've been accused of being a misanthrope (Miss Anthrope is my occasional nickname and anti-social. I have my reasons, and those who make such accusations are clearly not able to understand my situation. Mostly, I just prefer to be alone.
True, and yeah I generally don't care about what people think. Well... I care, if they're fascist. I do care about what fascists think of me. Fascists can be very dangerous people.
i used to have this problem, alot. i used to be so antisocial. at one point in my life, i barely left my room, let alone my house. i was scared to go anywhere, without my mum and/or my best friend. and even with my best friend, i couldn't stand to stay out very long. i was allllways so shy in crowds, and usually just never said anything. everyone thought i was reeeally weird. i'm not like that anymore, though. i'm still not the most talkative person you'll ever meet, but i do feel more comfortable around people, and can actually keep up meaningful conversations for quite awhile. i'm not afraid to leave my house anymore, and i barely spend any time in my room, now. which is deffffinetly a good thing. so yeah, don't feel alone! i know how you feel. things will get better.
Yeah, I'm kind of like that. It's weird though. I can get in a conversation with some people so easy, like it's nothing. When someone is seriously into the conversation, I can talk to them like I've know them for years. Don't always blame it on yourself. You need to realize that alot of teenagers have this problem, and they're really hard to talk to. They're got those mood swings too, and they might not feel like talking either. Like me with talking on the bus. I can't do, I just can't. I come off like some kind of depressed boring asshole. If you can, try too meet people with your friends. I have a handful of friends I'm really comfortable around, like they were my realitives. I do things around them I would (sometimes) never be able to do by myself. When you meet people when you're out with your friends, you kind of transfer those same comfortable feelings over to them. Think about it.
Kincajou- Please don't think you are alone in this! There are more people like you than you think, including myself. We're called introverts. Thing is, most people are able to fake being able to socialize better than some of us. I try to find one or two people I can relate to in social situations, and if not, I just hang on my own and either people watch or think fun thoughts. I find that if you aren't sure what to talk about with people, listen. That way you learn about other people without feeling awkward. I just wish people would be more friendly than they are personally, but everyone is so afraid of rejection or judgement that we all seem to give up on trying. How many times have any of you been at a party, in a classroom, anywhere, where you make eye contact with someone or get a "vibe" from someone and instinctively feel that they would be someone worth getting to know, but don't do anything about it? I have been in that situation many times, but these things sometimes get easier...
The day i started this thread i was getting really nervous about some guests that were going to visit our house. they were friends of my dad's, and were much older! I really had nothing to worry about, but i began to worry way too much about what they might think of me. So I thought and thought and thought and thought and finally, when they showed up i got way out of control. I started showing off my hobbies and talking like crazy. ITs funny when i think about it now, because i think i was overly nervous and in the end couldnt control my personality. About an hour after my hilarious showing, i came down from it all and just went inside myself, and huddled away from them. So, in the end i dont worry about it. the only thing that lingers in my mind is wondering what they thought of me throughout all that. I have a close group of friends that allow me to completely be myself, and thats pretty much all you need to get yourself going. Yea I know im an introvert, i've known that forever. You know those things in hospitals that go up and down in a green line, and then when the person dies it flatlines? Well life is like that , if you were to draw it out visually. it goes up, and it goes down, just like that meter in the hospital. good day/
I've never had this problem before, actually. I like people a lot. If the person sucks, I move on. I like to walk into a room and get to know everyone there. You might want to get really high and go outside. It will be much easier to be around people. You'll say anything to that person not caring what they think. You know, you could have social-anxiety. If you're afraid of what everyone is thinking of you (even though a lot of them problem haven't even noticed your presence yet) and if you think other people are always having a much better time than you, you more than likely have social-anxiety. Most people aren't having any better a time than you, or than you could have if you allowed yourself to. Blackie - Exactly two co-workers? lol I would hope it wouldn't be approximately two co-workers. Razor - Why are you afraid what fascists think of you? You dress how you want to dress and you believe in the things in which you believe. People will hate you for these things, that's the way it is. If they're going to be violent with you because of it that's going to happen. Either run away, or if that doesn't work, fight back and try to hold your own. If they kill you because of it then you leave this mortal coil knowing that you lived and did the things you wanted to do all the years before some freak flipped out and took your life from you. That's just the way I see it. The only people who's opinions matter, in my opinion are the people who're giving you an interview, the people who pay your paycheck, and the one person called "YOU'"!!!!! What people who already love you think of you also doesn't matter, in my opinion. Why? Because you're doing the things you love to do, and the minute they believe you aren't worth it because of one of these things is the minute they, themselves become "not worth it". That's just my opinion, though. $.02
I'm like that. I'm so shy when I'm in crowds of people I don't know, it's horrible. It makes me so sad to see how some strangers can just become friends instantly...I can't do this for some reason. When I was new at my job, people were nice and stuff but I never really got to making any friends, like other new people did. I think about this a lot, and you're right, it's not good to think about it. My friend bugs me and tells me that I'm anti-social.
