Unusual phrases for 'having a period'

I've heard some strange, some gross, and some very unusual phrases used to explain that 'special time of the month' for girls, but today took the biscuit.

The translation from Thai would be, 'I'm bringing my usuals.'

What are the funniest/strangest/downright weirdest expression you've heard?

 

Pissing fire.

 

Some jerk once said to me "When the red river flows, take the dirt road home."

 

Bitchweek

 

I don't call it anything. I just say I'm menstruating.

 

I just call it that time of the month

 

I always thought 'bleeding' was a good, effective way to communicate what's going on.

 

a friend used to say "Aunt Flo" came to visit

 

"laying out the bait for the lesbian vampires"

 

'on the blob'
'in her flowers'
'smelling of roses'

Aris, I like 'pissing fire'. I will add it to my collection.

 

Riding the crimson wave.
Lulz. Clueless.
And I say ragging.
On the rag.
Whatever.
But not too unusual, though.

This is my new favorite.

 

I use bleeding most of the time. Sometimes its the rag, and lately Ive been calling it "the three days my uterus is slowly dying from lack of blood flow for its failure to procreate."

 

"the days I get closer to having breast cancer for not breeding" seems like it would also be accurate in that vein.

 

Yes^

 

trolling for vampires.

 

I usually just say my uterus is bleeding. At other times cherry juice, weeping womb, riding the cotton pony,the crimson fairy, kitty got a nose bleed.

 

:smilielol5:hahah too funny. I especially like 'weeping womb.'

 

im fond of "the old lady is fucking raggi'n....i gotta get the fuck out of here lest i get drunk and say something she doesnt like..." which has happened before...

 

I just say I have my period.

In DR some people say something with the moon, but I cant remember exactly what is it they say.

 

"menstruating you asshole, now stop asking about my ****"

is one I imagine could work out.