Ventilation

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by fulmah, Oct 5, 2004.

  1. fulmah

    fulmah Chaser of Muses

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    cancer chemistry

    Call it the marginal difference of two numbers
    or the rebalancing of karmic justification
    the rising height of fault lines colliding
    took us high into the atmosphere
    and we should have suffocated
    but lucky me,
    asphyxiation gets you off
    you fucking spider,
    spindling our discrepancies in a tight cocoon
    you feed off of at night, in the dark
    just at that moment when I’m about asleep,
    when everything seems alright
    the problems predictably resurface,
    the lights get turned on,
    the lethal bite occurs,
    the toxic infection invades
    and I’m left helpless, hoping
    the nightmare is pinched unreal
    but it never is.
     
  2. fulmah

    fulmah Chaser of Muses

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    fault the ectoplasmic goop
    flowering 4am circadian waves
    that haunt you the following day,
    harassing normal routine, taunting
    in shallow, victorious celebration;
    but don’t blame me
    for inability.

    fault a psychiatric diagnosis
    flowering delusions of grandeur
    that you’ll find the finish line
    that evaporates after a few days
    of being held over a hot stove
    eroding into hopeless failure.
    and you blame me
    for conducting inability?

    fault your fucking self
    for apathy, for wasting weeks
    watching comedy central constantly
    to enter deluded, altered reality,
    and dissociating, daydreaming,
    disconnecting distortion
    after detached distortion
    and blaming me…

    seriously, get in gear
    or better yet, go away.
    this dumb drama blows.
     
  3. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    Nice venting!

    -cancer chemistry-
    is basically the way I wanted to write "something" (didn't know what) a few days ago, but the words just never came and they come to you so naturally!

    -dumb drama blows-
    Love the three stanzas, the first two seem to posess some rational, some sense, and then the 3rd one is just plain aggrivated, tense but I did get stuck on the d alliteration, especially when "distortion" was repeated twice, not sure how truly necessary that was. And then the last stanza just gives up on the person all together, exhale, brush them off and move on.
     
  4. fulmah

    fulmah Chaser of Muses

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    for the love of God,
    stop repeating
    that reliable excuse:
    "abandonment’s rudiment
    relieves moral responsibility"

    it’s gotten old.
    worn out. overused.

    the whole world, by now, knows
    an avalanche perpetuates accrual;
    that fusion is self sustaining;
    that you lie, cheat, and cry
    to get your way.

    that sinkhole’s suction vamps
    weak rational tendencies,
    and multiplies its repulsive piles
    of problematic conditions,

    and it’s nothing new,
    no, not at all.
     
  5. kidder

    kidder Member

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    I liked the first effort here. Although still a little wordy, it does have wonderful moments of self-realization and its expressed anger touches home right across the human continent.
     
  6. sunflowerAlys

    sunflowerAlys Member

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    thank you oh thank you :)
     
  7. rainbowkid

    rainbowkid Member

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    These one's made me laugh a bit because most of your others didn't include swearing. Im glad to see that you never stop 'fulmah' especially on 'Cancer Chemistry'. What does 'granduer' mean in 'dumb drama blows' I was't too sure?
     
  8. fulmah

    fulmah Chaser of Muses

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    thanks for the replies, all!

    basically it's "delusions of greatness"

    if you're asking what I'm actually talking about though, it's in reference to someone who can't finish anything at all. decides she wants to be a chef (just an example) so enrolls in school, talking how great it's going to be, how succesful they'll be; then starts school and drops out after a week or two because it's too hard, and besides, they realized that what their real calling is to be a vet; so they start taking classes, then drop out... repeat over and over again...
     
  9. rainbowkid

    rainbowkid Member

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    Cool. Thanks 'Fulmah'. I can understand poetry etc it's just that I didn't know what 'granduer' ment, I'd never hear it before.
     
  10. fulmah

    fulmah Chaser of Muses

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    Toxic pop chicks communicate
    in aluminum tinted voices,
    talking to me about distortion
    and the choices I’ve been making lately

    on this margarita kick,
    with this telepathic reputation
    translating chattering faery tales
    with sloshed, slurred imagination.

    So, during your hesitation,
    pay attention to facial language.
    Unwrap your pretty presents
    with a scowl and squinted eyes.

    Don’t you despise phographs?
    Don’t tornadoes scare you stiff?
    Isn’t there an eraser
    erasing the imaginative?

    You alternative queen,
    attracted by a breeze’s randomness
    by narcotic ingredients,
    by varieties of vegetables…

    Indeed,
    the beautiful, the disaster,
    the cheese and fucking crackers;
    it’s happening and fucking hip.

    Avert your eyes.
    Blush. Discomforted?
     
  11. VanAstral

    VanAstral Member

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    the beautiful, the disaster,
    the cheese and fucking crackers;

    ha! yes! nice read, matey,
    cheers!
     
  12. KittenX

    KittenX Purrrific

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    -Don’t tornadoes scare you stiff? - this line alone was like a jolt of inspiration!!

    -by narcotic ingredients,
    by varieties of vegetables… -
    This is pure awesomeness!

    -Avert your eyes.
    Blush. Discomforted?-

    Ouch, bang! This caustic piece is kickin with style and I'm loving it! :)
     
  13. gdhmomchild

    gdhmomchild Duct tape abuser

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    ~* Love reading your stuff but my favorites had to be the first two. all too well I know those feelings. Hate thinking about all the goodies I missed by you and others while I was absent. Thanks. *~
     
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