Was I raped? Or just toally used?

Okay I got so drunk I was barfing and passed out at some dudes house I barely know in his roomates bed I don't even know his name. For some reason I had sex with him not even knowing him, I barely remember because I don't remember half of what I did/said and I didn't think about what I was doing. Exspecially since I always use condoms to protect myself from STDs and I like to at least know their name. The next morning I was totally hung over (throbbing head, nautious) I wasn't wearing pants or thong I had to look beside me to see who I fucked then I was angry and asked for my jeans since I didn't know where the dude threw them after he got them off the incapacitated girl and then I got up and said I was leaving and he just was staring at me. Plus I could feel he came in me, b/c I was wet and crampy. I feel raped, but I consented while drunk and the guy that i kinda knew who lived there said I sounded like I enjoyed it, maybe in my subconsious, ya know?

 

if you choose to get drunk, so you cannot control yourself, if anything bad happens, you have no one to blame but yourself.

not wanting to sound cold or anything, but you should really grow up. don't get drunk if you don't want shit to happen.

 

I don't know it is blurry. The guy was definitley wrong in taking advantage of you. From a moral standpoint it sounds like rape from a legal one it does not. To feel crampy though is not normal just from one coming inside of you and I have felt that feeling once so I know exactly what you are talking about and it usually doesn't stem from consentual sex. That is whats making me think it wa rape

 

your right and if your a woman walking alone at night you deserve it too right?

 

That's such a crock Blah. So, basically what you're saying is that all date rapes are essentially ok. Just because a woman is drunk and doesn't have her faculties doesn't mean its her fualt when a guy takes advantage of her. Thankfully the lawyers and judges that recognize this truth aren't morons like yourself.

 

Well, if you get so drunk that you PASS OUT and dont know what happened, I have no remorse.

 

So, if you got so drunk that you passed out and I beat your face in, would you think that was ok? Have some sense, would you.

 

I wouldnt want someone to have remorse for me if you proceeded to beat my face in while im passed out drunk, it would be my choice to get that bad so therefore its my fault. Its called self control. Learn to use some.

 

So, you're saying its open season for a guy to have sex with a girl who's passed out?

 

I'm not saying its open season. BUT you have to prepare for the worst. Some people out there are fucked up in the head, and a lot of unsuspecting people dont know this yet. SO if you go to a party...get pass out drunk or whatever, be prepared to face the consequences.
enough said.

 

Well, all I have to say is I hope your not considering a career in the legal field there brown.

 

people like you are the ones who are fucked up in the head. You're the one saying the person shouldn't be held accoutnable for rape because they're a sick fuck and well the girl was drunk. You are putting all the blame on the woman and none on the person who actually commits the act. Having sex with someone who is passed aout is not an act of sex it is an act of violence-that's the difference.

 

Im gonna delete this whole thing, because PeacefulJeffrey posted it way better than I could. Funny thing my name is Jeff... haha.... get it... peaceful jeff posted it nice... he's the peaceful jeff...

 

EXACTLY.

I'm sorry this happened to you -- it doesn't seem right, that's for sure, but you brought it on yourself. I really don't think you should go talking about this or thinking about this as "rape" because you didn't get taken away, held down, threatened, or anything like that. You were not coerced.

Go to a doctor, tell them you had unprotected sex with someone you can't vouch for, and want to get checked out. You will probably be told you have to wait several months for any test results to be worthwhile. Hopefully you will find out that you were spared diseases...

... and you will learn NOT TO BE SO FUCKIN' STUPID AND RECKLESS WHEN IT COMES TO GETTING INCAPACITATED, AS A GIRL WHO CAN GET TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF. Looking back on it, is getting drunk SO FUCKING WONDERFUL?! You got sick, got a headache, killed a shitload of brain cells, probably acted real stupid (certainly aren't likely to have acted flattering), and got fucked by a guy whose name you don't even know. A total loss, I'd say. LEARN A LESSON FROM IT. STAY AWAY FROM ALCOHOL UNTIL YOU GROW UP and can handle it without totally losing control of yourself.

Blue skies,
-Jeffrey

 

Two people, a guy and a girl, both probably equally drunk so they're not thinking straight, go to bed and fuck. She doesn't say no, he doesn't really ask, they just do it, so they are BOTH contributarily negligent in letting it happen. How do we know -- how does SHE know -- that she did not give signs that she was willing?! She says she doesn't remember. Now, you have to either believe that this guy is just a predator who thought nothing of fucking a helpless, passed-out victim girl, or he's just a drunk guy who found a drunk willing girl who gave the signs she wanted to fuck and then doesn't remember that, or even when she passed out.

The fact that she remembers nothing but waking up feeling fucked is proof that she CANNOT SAY DEFINITIVELY THAT SHE WAS RAPED. She was a drunk girl who had sex, yes. That is not necessarily proof that the sex was not consentual in as much as it could have been during the drunkenness. But expecting a guy to, while drunk, be able to tell that the girl's willingness is just the liquor talkin' is a seriously invalid double standard.

She should get herself checked, and then make an oath to herself to not put herself in that position again. It's not that she deserved it, it's that she walked into it by getting that drunk. It's bad enough there are guys out there who will rape a sober girl with force. You don't have to expose yourself to the danger of getting fucked while drunk and too wasted to do anything about it, or even object.

Blue skies,
-Jeffrey

 

hmmmm I dont think you were at fault.

But I do think you should learn from this.

You cant really trust anyone and you have to watch out for yourself. Its shit that someone confirmed this for you in such a shitty way

Sounds like you were raped, mainly because you wouldnt have done it if you weren't drunk for a start and secondly becuase you cant remember what happened.

Unfortunately, it will be hard for you to press charges because you dont even know what happened. The guys a pig, tell your friends to make sure they dont have the same thing happen to them. What a pig!

 

Ok.. let me give my two cents:


It's not fair to compare being drunk with walking down the street at night. You were drunk and from what I read I don't think you made it very clear to him that you didn't want to have sex.. and if you weren't passed out as well (so you couldn't say 'no') to the guy it was probably consentual. I mean.. in his eyes you maybe were just 'drunk and giddy'.. so I don't think he's really to blaim, unless he was aware of the fact that you were too drunk to judge the situation, but that's kinda hard to decide (he could be just very dense).

Anyways.. although the previous poster said it a bit harsh: learn from this girl.. don't get so wasted.. and if you still want to, make sure you are with people you completely trust and that can look after you!

imho you're not raped.. maybe he took advantage of you though.. but you have some responsibility as well.. that doesn't mean that you can't feel bad about the whole thing.. but try to deal with it and learn from it, instead of laying all the responsibility at the guy. Again, unless you were passed out or said no/resisted.. he wasn't really legaly wrong.. maybe ethical, but that's a whole different discussion

 

Uhh..."rape"?

I'm sorry, but vomiting and passing out are tiny little signals that ONE IS NOT COMPETANT TO CONSENT.

The guy should have known this...

I'd have to know more about the situation to know for sure, because any time it involves alcohol it's a grey area, but it sounds like one of the more clean-cut cases I've heard.

Drinking alcohol is not a blank cheque to any horny guy in the vicinity.

How about holding HIM responsible for his actions?

 

This might sound like a long shot... but why not try talking to the guy? If he was as drunk as you and was stupid enough to cum inside you and saw the way you acted in the morning he's probably worrying himself. Scared of a rape charge, or a child or maybe even him getting a disease.. he doesnt know what you have or havnt got either.

And if it was rape... then you will see in his eyes when u talk to him.

 

At least go get tested if he came in you. I know what it's like to be incoherently drunk, but it's not your fault you got used. It's his. He's a pig and a fucking desperate peice of shit if he has to have sex w/ girls that are half conscious. Blame him, not yourself.