So I decided to spend most of the money I'm getting for my marriage on my honeymoon. My husband to be has never left the state for anything other than work, and never taken a real vacation. Its important to us both to get away. How the hell do I tell our friends, who seem to be expecting some blow-out party, that I want a simple wedding? I want a quick bite to eat with them all and then bring the party to a festival that I dont have to bankroll, so I can book us a real honeymoon. i"m getting shitty feedback and at this point if I tell anyone else to fuck off, we will officially have no friends
So, you still think that you're planning this and not you mother? That will change. Seriously: Send out the invitations. People will show up. When it comes time to eat cake, they will. When it comes time to throw rice (or bird seed or whatever the venue allows), they will. When it comes time for your first dance, they won't, but you will. When it comes time for you and your man to drive away, you will. When it comes time to clean up, the groomsmen and brides maids will. If the invitees hate you afterwards, that's fewer dinners you'll have to pay for at your 25th anniversary. (BTW. Do not tell anyone, I mean anyone, where you are staying on your wedding night. One of my (now) in-laws called every hotel or motel in town. "They're on their honeymoon, but they're supposed to be here, opening presents. Could you ring their room.")
How do you know that they are expecting a big blowout? And if they are, already expecting that, that's a sign that you've already waited too long to tell them, and need to ASAP. Also, if you don't tell them your plans for the honeymoon before hand, they will not know how much more you are spending on it.
Is the trend with your friends to have extravagant receptions? That doesn't mean you have to have one. Have something intimate, that has some food (better good appetizers/tapas than the usual crappy wedding fare), some music and love. How do you plan to coordinate at a festival? And just say you are going away for a honeymoon. No details needed.
In the heavy German community I grew up in they had open bars. I'd meet 3rd cousins twice removed at those things.
no the trend with our friends is just to throw giant parties every time we get together, not just receptions, but anything. Name an event and a mobile DJ booth will appear along with go-go dancers, fire spinners, and kandy kids. Not really the theme I'm trying to go for here Since I have a background in wedding planning, my mom is letting me take the full reigns here. And when I say i'm doing this simple, I'm talking a back yard, barbecuing the animals from the ranch, having the typical dances and cake and getting the hell out of there. I wanted to get married at the renaissance fest, but it was ridiculously over-priced and we cant bring our own food or alcohol. So after the quick reception, everyone is invited to follow us out to the festival to camp and be merry. No coordination needed. Yes, I plan on spending my wedding night in a tent. Our relationship solidified years ago while we were stumbling around Flipside (a burn fest in tx) and we spent our first summer together in a tent. We thought it was a great way for us to spend the first night as husband and wife- as us, the real us. I just worry because everyone is saying how they cant wait to go, how amazing its going to be, ect. I dont know how to say, " Yeah folks, its not going to be spectacular or anything, we really just want my sister to officiate, eat some cake and get on the road so we can all go party somewhere else". lol
How about this marketing idea? The "main reception" is at the Ren. Faire. The cake in the back yard is something to do while loading the cars. And get the obligatory cake cutting etc. out of the way while there is still plumbing. Would that adjust expectations appropriately?
I'm assuming you mean Plantersville's fest, and unless you have an in with someone who owns land by the faire, camping will be a big fat NO. George isn't going to give a penny away, and the crafters and workers expect some safety and privacy at night.
have it your way ! BUT consider doing BOTH ! a pot-luck party to celebrate your marriage and a beautiful honeymoon . your friends want to party . . . . . . and that can happen chip-in !
I'm assuming they are allowing camping, as they are selling camping passes for $20 bux per vehicle...?
My question is this--if you're going to do a cheap and simple ceremony and reception, do you expect people to buy you cheap and simple gifts?
I don't expect any gifts! I want my friends and fam around to see us get hitched and go party somewhere else!
Anyone who matters wont be there for a fucking big party, they'll be there for you. So plan it, tell people, and see who sticks with you.
^agreed I can't fathom having expectations for someone else's wedding. If it's anything other than sitting in a church for an hour, then sitting in a banquet hall for hours, it's a treat. But even if it's boring and I'm uncomfortable in my formal attire, I'm not there for myself.
