So I have been on and off with this fwb for about four years. He's a fun guy and everything, great in bed and everything. So I took him to a swinger party as a nice gesture and a reward for being decent. He said "I didn't know it would be that much fun, with that much alcohol," etc. I spoke to the guy who runs it a few days later. He said "please don't bring that guy back. He got totally wasted, he was totally annoying, he kept requesting that we play the songs on his phone by attaching it to the speaker..." Now he calls now and then to have access to the parties obviously. I don't know what to tell him...
HAHHAHHAHA Drugs and Alcohol aren't really acceptable in the swinging communities, none of the ones that I frequent anyway. At the meets/parties it is slight drinking, but nobody gets too wasted or anything, just enough to get people chatty you know? But then there's always those couples that get trashed and more often than not you don't see them getting anywhere with anybody. But I mean, playing songs through a speaker really isn't that big of a deal, I mean we could all think much more worst things he could have done, at first thoughts I assumed he got the old fellow out and started putting it in everybodies faces. XD This is a hard one really. I wouldn't like to be told that I was annoying as fuck while I thought I had a fun time..
Thats what I dont get about you, why bother with the opposite sex at all, those swingers places. Surely by now at your age there are enough bored horny experimental housewives out there for you not to bother with the husbands
I don't want to get involved with someone in a negative relationship looking for the positives elsewhere. That's not what I like at all, to be with a housewife on the side would not make me feel good at all. Plus there's a sense of accomplishment, satisfaction there too on both sides I believe. My satisfaction is trying to achieve what the housewifey had desired and his satisfaction is probably seeing his wife play around with a younger female. XD I also use swinging communities as an outlet to meet new people for friendship too. Not everyone I meet I regard as potential play mates but that doesn't mean we can't be friends and we've made some lasting friendships this way. It's not all about the sex for us, meeting people with similar interests.. that's where we are. I really haven't done much at all with swingers and especially couples, few fool arounds etc. but nothing too outrageous. I'm still searching. I'm a weirdo you know not every one is good enough for me. Since I happen to be the "unicorn" of sorts in this type of community (the solo playing female everyone desires) I literally get.. oh what's the expression.. pick of the litter?
I think I would figure out some sort of story (lies) if you want to continue to sleep with him. Something like you don't like going to that place cuz of a bad experience
Interesting, so we bargain for affection when we could just enjoy the people we really like and then tell everyone else if you don't like fuck off. Not going to get laid often enough to keep us self satisfied.
I'm a little confused on what you are trying to say. I basically said if you want to keep her BWB tell him a story, there's no bargaining. I got the impression she didn't really want to tell him they don't want him back.
Yes i'm picking up on what you said and addressing the samantha on the value question she asked, what should I do about this guy? They are just not jelly at this time. If you say it straight there will be no hard feelings for you and he may take a hint instead of just fucking off
Put it this way though, your girlfriend doesnt do it though does she, because she's either been through this stage or a touch too butch for any guy to never be not threatened, I'm guessing that second one Thes girls you meet in the swingers club, they can say it in a way that makes them sound loving, oh my hubby and me have a wonderful caring sharing relationship, Id always want him to be a part of it.....yada yada. But if thats not true, and the truth is they know full well they are not going to get aroused with just another female alone, and at the same time things have gone stale with the hubby and they are not going to be turned on with him alone...the only thing that works now is being with another girl trying to tease the hubby. It might seem like you have the power...but. Why he wants to see a younger girl at it is obvious, but what is she doing with you?
My girlfriend is a voyeur and enjoys watching me take other partners. She has not been through any stages, she knows exactly who and what she is. She is not butch either... I am using couples and wives for my own satisfaction too. I'm highly attracted to mid 30s married women looking to experiment. My attraction changes, but lately this is what I am going for I have very specific desires though, I don't just be with anyone lol very far from that, hence why I have never really taken the leap into anything so serious yet. I am waiting for the right people, a good connection. Ideally, hubby is well aware that his wife wants to experiment with another female. He doesn't necessarily want to get involved. He is either happy with watching or comfortable letting her out on her own. What is she doing with me? I'll settle for a glass of wine, snugged up to her, exchanging kisses over the evening. That sounds beautiful to me. I wouldn't expect a first time woman to go all the way. I am sensual, I would not push the boundaries early on. I guess I really don't know what you are trying to say? Are you trying to warn me? Are you telling me what I am doing is wrong? Are you suggesting what a married couple is doing is wrong? I have a unique bond with my partner that didn't stem from a sexual preference. I fell in love with my girl for who she was, not because she was female. In this sense I believe I have sapiosexual. I am attracted to intelligence and individualism. I can be attracted to the males.. I've just never gone there but had I not met my partner in this life, there's a huge percentage that I'd have ended up with males. But I met her instead. Now, why I am into social sex is for my own self experience. I do not want to miss out on experiences by committing myself too early to the one person. We are well beyond the monogamous stage in the relationship. We know we have one another, now it's time to see what else is out there you know. We've taken many partners over the years but this was not "swinging" this was two girls chatting up another girl over drinks and lets see what happens. What happens is beautiful, but, add "swinging" into the vocabulary and people start to assume what you are doing is wrong and dirty.. Technically I been swinging almost my entire sexual life if you look at social sex and multiple partners that way. I like swinging for couples because to get into that conversation in the first place, an enormous amount of trust must be in that relationship to begin with. Swinging isn't for everybody, but then I admire the couples that do it (like my relationship) and it has no consequence to their own relationships.
I'd say if you want to continue the FWB relationship....that's up to you. If he wants to go to the parties and you don't want to tell him he isn't welcome to come back....just don't tell him about the parties. If he asks, just say you don't know if anything is being arranged right now or maybe say something must have happened at the last party because everyone seems to be backing away lately...or whatever...and just leave it at that. You don't know why but there just isn't anything going on any time too soon. The dude is a FWB....it's not like he's your husband and you'd really only be lying to not hurt his feelings. It would be different if you were committed to him, lied about the parties and then still went without him. You're under no obligation to let him tag along next time or even know about it.
Trying to warn you, LOL, not really, it all kind of falls into place anyway, no matter what you do. But.again, you said prime target is about 10 years older. Why isnt their prime target mid 30s, why you? It is a hint for the future. It isnt an exact science, im just playing the odds, dont really know you girlfriend, just that Ive heard it 1000 times before. I dont think you know everything about your girlfriend, how big that secret harem actually is
I'm still having difficulty understanding what you are trying to say.. sorry. Do you think I am keeping this from my girlfriend? My girlfriend in three years older than me pending the time of the year. She is 30 and met me when she was 15, I was 13. We've been together as first best friends, then we progressed to lovers. My girlfriends entire family, pretty much, save an aunt and uncle, were all wiped out in a car crash before I met her. She has never trusted anybody nor had a proper family. I am her her family as she is mine. To suggest that I do not know her well is actually kind of offensive to me. I know her in so many ways it's not funny. In the last 5 years there has not been a single day I have not seen her. We do not work like traditionally people, she does not work at all and I hobby for a few months a year. The rest of the time is spend directly with one another. I am hers always, I find it difficult to be without her. So my prime target for females at this time is yes, 8-10+ years. And you are asking why their prime target is me if I am somebody younger than them? I do not know the answer to that, but I can only assume that they might be attracted to me? And who am I to complain about that? I really don't get any of this, hey. We just do what we do? My girlfriend does not take part in swinging, other than meeting people with me, because she's even more selective with possible lovers than I am. No bad experiences, she's not threatened at all. We have met solo girls through swinging too. Basically, swinging is my thing, where I hope to fulfill some experiences I've not had yet. These experiences aren't her fantasies, but she encourages me to fulfill mine, because we're cool like that.
Because of post #6 when you started talking about lasting friendships from swingers community and its not just about sex. You dont really know girls, and I know what that sounds like coming from me not being a girl. But you'd be more popular if you acted like a guy ( in regards to sex nothing else) and were just about trying to get them between the sheets and they know no one else is ever going to find out, especially hubby Especially post 30 you'll see a lot more of them, that just want to play and nothing else, not that they'll pluck up the courage to directly ask you Its all kind of a lie from embarrassment or worrying about what everyone thinks or if it means hubby is going to dump them, a lot of them just like guys are and just want to rub one out. Emotional connections and lasting friendships are for their girl-friends, family and now hubby....not their secret lesbian sex toy that knows how to take charge and treat them bad in a good way
