What do I have to do to go green??

Hey guys. Going green is what's in. I sometimes feel like I am missing out on the fun and often have the desire to go all out and ensconce myself in everything green. I was wondering what I have to do to become green. Are there any patches I can wear on my clothes or stickers I can put on my car that show how green I am?

When I go to the book store, what books should I pretend I'm reading when I enter the bookstore cafe and order a mocha latte, so people know I am eco-friendly? What are some green pick-up lines that the chicks like? Also, what are some green fashions? Is LL Bean acceptable in green circles? Eddie Bauer?? What about Birkenstocks? Is it alright to wear my Birkenstocks with socks?

How about green music? Is Ani Difranco acceptable, or should I rock it up a little bit more and maybe incorporate some DMB into the mix?

 

"hey baby, this isn't my penis in my pocket, it's an enormous sheaf of carbon offset credits, Rawr"

 

You could always walk around the streets, practically naked, carrying a sign that says "Vegetarians taste better".

 

hmmm...well birkenstocks use leather. so they cause harm to animals. kinda offsets the "greenness" of your ensemble.

 

Birkenstocks directly cause harm to animals.

You have heard it here first.

 

Damn it!

 

Actually I think that the best way to go green is to give up your house and all of your belongings, after all... they are taking up space that animals could use, and therefore is hurting animals.

Actually, people should just slit their throats and feed themselves to starving American Bald Eagle populations. Now that's the hip way to save mother earth!

 

I hate that people are just now "going green" because its whats "in"... I was talking about all that stuff way before it was "cool".

 

who cares really

 

i didn't say direct harm.

you're a smartass, aren't you?

 

You sure as hell implied it.

You're an environmentalist, aren't you?

 

Well If you really want to go green you can start by purchasing this beautiful loam style mansion (with two thatched roof turrets) for the outrageous price of two cows and an oxen; located in the majestic hills of western nigeria, where you will live a life of green sowing the fields from dawn til dusk

Hotwater​

​

 

looks nice

 

I think being gay and voting Democrat automatically also ups your chances.

And don't forget to get a minority friend.

When it comes to women, only the inside matters.

Cry a lot too.

 

Thanks. I jotted those down so I remember them.

 

not implied. you inferred.
and, indirect or direct. it's still harmful.

in my opinion, it's not really an issue to be handled with sarcasm. yeah, it's funny in the sense that people are making it seem "trendy" to be green. but if being environmentally friendly allows generations following us to live and survive on this planet, then why would you argue against environmentalism?

 

Oh and be a vegan.

Look rachitic.

 

it helps if you perform experimental theatre, and go to broadway shows with live action circle jerks.

 

Apparently you are dead on about Eddie Bauer. I saw Eddie Bauer pants for sale at the hipstore.

 

recycle.