What do you really want them to say at your funeral ?

Instead of usual “<insert name > was a great father/mother/uncle/brother etc blah blah blah and pass the cake" , what do want you really want them to say about you at your funeral .


For me
He was a great lover –he could breath through his ears

 

I honestly don't think i want a funeral.
Maybe just get cremated and for my family to have a small get together and a party would be good. My friends too.

I spoke at one funeral before.
At my grandpas cause we were really close. It was probably the hardest thing i ever done. But i said how hes not suffering anymore and i promised i would talk to him and visit him often and i spoke of the wonderful things he did for me and taught me in life.

 

I want to be cremated also and my ashes put in turn 4 of a clay race track so I can spend eternity listening to the rumble of a high horsepowered race car. As far as saying anything about me, I would love to have someone say, "First and foremost RH was a gearhead."

 

Word. I hate funerals. I hate the idea of people somberly mourning my death,or spending crap loads of money on my corpse . I hope when I die my fam does what is easiest and cheapest with my remains, and remembers the good times they had with me.

 

Exactly.
I'm glad someone feels the same as me.

I want my ashes to be spread all over...
Some on the ranch i grew up on.. That place is my one love...
And i would like for someone to go on a mountain and just throw the remaining of my ashes from it so i can roam the earth.. go everywhere.

 

I'd rather be burnt up on purpose, or die in such a way that nobody needs any stupid "closure", as in, everyone sees it happen or whatever, but there's still no body.

Funerals are creepy.

At a memorial, or funeral, if I had no choice about it, I suppose I'd want them to say that I was the first honest director of the DEA or drug czar (not saying it's the same office, saying I'd be happy with either) and responsible for starting the wildly successful (economy fixing, too) national ad campaign seeking to promote intelligent thought and restraint in drug use, as opposed to blind abstinence.

As for qualities that I really have, shit, I'm lost. Maybe I can attend my own funeral, and give the previous statement when they let the audience make speeches.....

 

Well even though I don't want a funeral if I have one I'd like to hear something like this..."So listen, before we nail this lid down are you sure he's dead and not just passed out again. Let's check. I mean, ya never know...

 

this. word for word.

 

"He loved the single-use, plastic-sealed toothbrush and towel at high-end motels."

 

Lived long, loved lots and died asleep in her bed

 

"DAM he was KICK ASS!!"

 

"Oh! He died?............. Who was he again?"



Seriously though, I would rather just sit down in the woods somewhere under a big oak tree, pass away and let nature consume my body.

 

The ladies would say " What a dick!" LOL Not really. I don't know.
I guess I would just want the truth spoken, no bull shit.
I don't want any tears for me dieing but maybe a small celebration of life by my family and friends. I want it to be a good time, not a time of mourning. Burn me, kick dirt on me, it doesn't matter.
And as Glenn would say Cheers !

 

"has anyone seen the body? i swear it was here last night!"

 

I'd be happy if more than one person showed up.

 

Nothing.

I will not have a funeral as that is my wish. Anyone that I wish to spend time with I would rather do it while I am living and I try to do that daily.

I attend funerals that leave me at times amazed at how all of a sudden old aunt so and so became a much nicer person cold rather than served warm.

 

nothing here too...funerals just make the richest family in town richer...greedy fuckers taking advantage of the grieving people at their weakest times

come visit me while im alive you morons...why the hell would anyone want to see my empty body or a stupid overpriced wooden box..dig a hole in the bush near a spot you think Id like and dump me there please ...it wouldnt really matter if i liked the spot anyway because ID BE DEAD STUPID..

 

"Puggy left HOW much??

OhhhhhhNOOOOOO!!

There's me telling him only last month what a dickhead he was!"

 

I want them to say the usual tripe, but I want "Highway to Hell" to play in the background.

 

"I hope he makes it"

Once I can no longer be sustained by modern medicine I want to be frozen and kept in one of those cryonic chambers to be revived 10,000 years into the future


Hotwater