What does I love you mean?

Hi, I am new here. I am not american but I got married a northamerican 7 years ago, so please forgive my English .
We were about to do some business with a woman which my husband knows since they were teenagers. This woman is getting divorce. They email each other often for business but they get along very well because they are good friends.
I just found an email from her about bussiness and at the end it said "Love you" I don't know whether in USA that is very common to say between friends of different sex. For me, those words are way to deep. What should I think?

 

You're right, they are way too deep.

Way too deep.

 

Thing is, my husband got her out of trouble and she thanked him in that email. Maybe I love you was a way of gratitude?

 

it's not unusual to end correspondence with "love, me" or some variation of that. Maybe she does love him? So? Is that a terrible thing? Love does not always involve sexual connotations. Why are you reading his emails?

 

It could be "I love you" as a friend, "I love you" as in she loves him, or "I love you" as in, they're lovers. Why don't you ask him if it bothers you that much?

 

My friends and their wives tend to send me Christmas cards with
"love John and Jill" ( in her handwriting)

One of them got divorced and sent one
"Love John"

FOr a second I was like EHHHHHHHH?????????

The area of love between friends ( both sexes )and family ( ok not my family)
is all a bit weird for me.

Good friends its ok to write love , but male to male friends I find a bit weird.
But then most people would say Im weird LOL

The next year I wrote a card back with "love and kisses" to my divorced friend
oh and I did a rubbish drawing of a flower lol

( I know "what is it with you guys and homophobia"? youre saying)

Seriously tho .writing "love " does NOT mean illicit relationships , partic in the case
you describe

 

Thanks everybody for your input!

Mamaboogie, if my husband if emailing with other woman, I have the right to know what is going on, right?

 

Saying I love you to a friend doesnt always mean that there are "Love" feelings as in a relationship type of love..I tell my best friend I love her, I tell my best guy friend I love him, even when his wife is around. When I tell my husband I love him it's a totally different type of love. With him and this woman having a close friendship, it's probably nothing more than an I love you my friend type of thing.
I don't read my husbands emails that come to his personal account. I trust him totally and don't feel that one should invade their significant others personal space like that..I wouldnt want him in my email, etc. That's just not very nice.

 

Well,that is because you have not been in the situation I have been. It is a long story.

But thanks so much

 

I say I love you to tons of my friends.... its a friednship kind of love, not romantic or sexual in any way. Its just an affectionate thing, and I do really love them. I also call a lot of my friends sweetie/sugar/hon/gorgeous/darlin etc etc etc

 

In Spyder Robinsons "Time Pressure", a time traveler (whose native language was not english) knew that "I love you" was a dangerous phrase and had many overlaping meanings. It could mean:

"I will meet your price for sex."
"I am fond of you"
"I claim ownership of you"
"You are, or could be, my other half"
"You complete me"


Back to the OP, a salutation "Love You, Sally" is probably innocent expression of fondness.

But you asked what you should do. I recommend talking with your husband. Perhaps he is confused about this woman's feelings and would appreciate your help in setting her straight. It would be tough on him if her divorce and the accompianing emotional trauma made him the object of her unwanted romantic advances.

 

I say Love you to lot's people-We can love lot's people-it's different when we are IN LOVE with anyone.

 

no, you don't have the right to invade his privacy and undermine the trust that every relationship needs in order to survive. If you can't trust your husband, you really need to talk to him about your feelings. If you keep snooping around, reading his personal correspondence without his permission, he will eventually leave you for someone who does trust him and respects his privacy.

 

He knows and I told him what I did. Thank you so much !!for your advice though.

By de way, your kids are very cute
that you should keep private

 

If I was your husband, I would be upset with you that you went through my private emails.

Just shows how much you don't trust him. That's sad.

 

Oh yes! I really trust him!! But I dont trust......her

See the difference?

 

No...because if he loves you and wants to be with you...then who cares what any other woman says to him? It won't matter what they say because he doesn't care about anyone else but you...

If you knew that, you wouldn't worry about what other women were saying to him.

 

Yes, yes...all that, I knew the answer already.
All I want to know is if a woman might be interested in him, because we are opening a bussiness and she is interested to work with my husband. So I want to be prepared. Why is so complicate to understand?
Anyway I didnt open this post to ask about morality, I know I didnt behave right, but sometimes this life puts you in difficult choices.

 

Forget the confounded reading emails already; it's done.

I understand where you're coming from. I'm also stewing in a possibility of sorts and information I can't know, personally. Do you sense he would be hurt or go ballistic if you brought it up? You might approach the topic wisely (make sure he's been fed and sexed. lol.) and gingerly with some tact and warning. Don't bust out the question like an accusation. Do not bring up any indication of going through his mails - sure, that wasn't so great on your behalf, but sometimes it is tough and we don't end up with fecking Romeo either.

Take care of yourself, and watch out for other indications. If those seem as peculiar as that "love you" did on that email, then put the question to him (never as an accusation.. unless you found another woman's panties somewhere, then that's fine). Sorry to hear about this turmoil. I hope things get better, and you find some closure or peace of mind.

 

Have you not spoken to him and discussed your feelings regarding this woman being around and possibly working for him?? It seems that if he respects you and your marriage he would respect the fact that you are uncomfortable with this woman around and what her intentions may be, and not employ her, and limit his contact with her. If you cannot do that, then the problem is more than likely does not just lie with her, but with your husband as well.