What makes YOU the biggest loser?

Come on... everyone has lame things about them... And inspired by Sophie's post in the "a rude joke" thread, i wanna hear what makes YOU the biggest loser of all time?

Instead of building yourself up, I wanna see you knocking yourself down. No curriculum vitae's here, please. I want a list of your failures. WOOHOO, GO THE "NO SELF-ESTEEM" THREAD!!!


Ok... what makes me a loser?

* I'm actually in a youth group
* I like to read and would often prefer sitting at home with a book to hanging with mates
* I like Hanson... A lot... like... heaps.
* I am a closet bopper
* I once wore leggings
* I had a bowlcut when I was about 12... *shudder*
* I quite enjoy exams.
* I'm totally politically correct and fuck off other people about it.
* I ENJOY editing writing and correcting grammar, spelling and punctuation.

And there's more but I need inspiration..

 

i listen to hanson

im obsessed with socks
im a virgin
im a librarian in the summer
i love to go bra shopping
i have a collection of records but no record player

 

I have a comb over to cover my receading (is that spelled right Tamsyn hairline
I use spoonerisms all the time
I love RPG games and could spend ages playing those kinds of games
I too am a virgin
I dont care about how my pants class with my shirt
I LOVE talking about politics and thoughts
I enjoy listening to trance and pop

This list will just go on and on. The thing is, we are all losers at heart (in our own special way)

 

i'm me (nuf said)

will list all my failures later it will take a while

 

hrmm

was in the boy scouts and loved it
LOVE dean martin and frank sinatra
waste too much time on the puter/hipforums/games.
i know latin and greek, super dork.
i make a point NOT to be politically correct. i.e. African american wtf?
i love all board games especially chess
i like watching other people bitch and whine about school tests/papers

erm, thats all i care to admit, err can think of right now :H

*hums mmmmmmmmBOP!* lol

 

God, I could keep going in this thread for hours. Hmm, lets see....i'll give you just a hint of my loserly delights:

*I'm a four eyes - i wear contacts, but there's no hiding the ShortSightedMcGeek within
*My afro - i try to tame it but yeah, loser hair alllll the way
*I actually care about what marks I get in school
*I'm pretty accident prone/uncoordinated eg setting myself on fire by acident FOUR times and I do flippin embarrasing things like the time when I was 12 and fell in the public swimming pool fully clothed - i'm still living the shame of that one down, lol.
*I own BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN cd's and have a somewhat unhealthy obession with the Boss, (I really like his music)
*I enjoy politics and current events - yeah I'll mish home to watch the news.
*I am a total english geek and film nerd - i own and read heaps and heaps of books and watch far too much film/tv- loooooooser
*I keep falling for guys that don't know I exist/ don't see me in that way OR
*If it is mutual I can never get up the nerve to say anything, neither can they, so I'm going to die alone - the ultimate end for an ultimate loser.

yeah I rule the loser school.

oh one more. I use phrases like 'I rule the loser school' and 'crikey,' not to mention 'rad'

 

hahahhaa

how did you light yourself on fire FOUR times? i almost lit the wall on fire onetime, i almost fullfilled my dream of using the fire extinguisher, but alas, the fire didnt make it to the wall.

and getting good marks isnt loserly(that so isnt a word), its just taking pride in what you do..or well thats what i tell myself.

 

yeah, getting good marks (or at leats trying to ) is not a 'cool kid' thing to do.
And as for fire, well,

1) Making cheese on toast. Turned it under the grill. I could smell something burning, but the oven seemed fine. Then I looked down. The pot mitt was on fire. What a gimp I am.

2) Making soup while in my school uniform. I lean in to stir it, my tie falls in the gas flame, and burns/melts sooo fast

3) In school, during science. We are supposed to examine the candle flame or some shit - i lean too close, burn off my fringey bits, which are still mega short, 7 years later

4) Repeat (1).

like i said, i'm a total Gimpy McSpazz

 

thats awesome

in chem class i overflowed a graduated cylinder with some type of acid cause i didnt notice that the beaker i was using was BIGGER than the graduated cylinder and i just kept pouring..good time until i drew the ire of my chem teacher

 

HAHAH RAD.

Though I must say... I abbreviate so many words in my speech. "How are you" has become "howa?". Whatever has become whatev. toda roba (thanks in hebrew) has become tods. manishma (how are you?) has become manish. kol beseder (everything's cool) has become kol bes. slicha (excuse me) has become slich. It happens in english too but i can't think of anything.

Also, I actually managed to RUN INTO A CAR. The car didn't hit me... oh no... the driver was actually smart and slowed down when they saw me on the side of the road... instead, I was stupid enough to start crossing the road and I ran smack bang into the car... And not only was this during rush hour, so there were heaps of people around, it was also right when my school bus drew up and so there was an entire bus full of people watching me when it happened.

 

Hey, I think I can win this one!

- I've never done drugs, smoked, or indeed done anything illegal.
- I sometimes do my homework.
- I do well at school.
- I play the piano and the flute.
- I read books (with chapters and no pictures)
- My twelve year old sister has had more boyfriends than me (quality, not quantity, right?)
- I spell things correctly. (even on internet forums)


In science we were heating up magnesium in test tubes and my test tube exploded. It was so funny.

 

lol, science accidents. I also managed to knock my tooth out when I fell off a stool in science.

And tamsyn - omg, i remember that car day. it was funny..I mean sad. yes, i'm very sympathetic for you, you poor thing.

as for abbreviations - they are the shit bro...we call being 'cas' and casual - there is the libe instead of the library, the mare instead of the night mare, care factor? *then motion with your hands a teeny bit* to mean 'care factor about zero', and on and on it goes.

 

go the abbreviations.

And I'm just marvelling at my talent for smacking into moving vehicles. OMG SOPHIE... Do you remember when that picture almost smacked me in the fact in the corridor at marsden? How funny was that?

 

i am the biggest loser because.

a) i havn't had sex for 2 years
b) i am too afraid to do anything about it
c) i have never won anything in my life.
--second in the wellington sicence fair
--didn't get a $4000 scholarship, instead i got $500
--didn't get a $1000 scholarship, instead i got $125
--came second in my class last semester
d) have an average sized penis, probably below average actually LOL
e) live at home at 20
f) whenever i would get into a fight at school i would split my pants, being 95kg at college and all LOL
g) hmmm just so many more

 

dude, getting any money is great - I got a losers card saying "yeah, thanks, but fuck off" well, actually I think it said "participation" or "commended" or something, but same difference.

oh, and another thing to add to my loser pile - we did prank calls last night - when the person picked up one of would sing "have you theen my mousth" (as in have you seen my mouse, but with a lisp) then they'd be like "what??" "My mousth. it'sth misthing. I think it'sth in your housth. " big pause "ooopsth,wrong housth" we are such fucktards, but it was funny as hell.

 

ok heres mine

1. have unhealthy obbessions with movies, people, and songs( right now it is the movie Tommy, Keith Moon, and the Uncle Ernie song in Tommy)
2. I used to be in Band. played clairinet, and quit last year
3. I have about a gram and a half, 3 squares, and cant smoke any of it since ive no where to go and my mom is home
4. i switch from talking like Sandy on Daria(dont knwo fi anyone of you have seen it) to The Ladies man, and quote random movies during the day
5. randomly yell "who are you calling a psycho" at people
6. sit at home most days
7. read the saem books 300 times b/c i love them so much

 

none of you are losers! I am


* I have no job
* I quit college after 1 year
* I cant afford to go back to college
* I too had a bowl cut at 12 (eww!)
* I like to clean?

I am sure I could go on...but do I really need too?

I should be crowned the biggest Loser of this post

 

ok then how about this one.

i got my dream job, as in it would have set me up for life, and been a fantastic life too, then i got fired 3 days later. $400 earnt in those 3 days too.

does that sound loserish. the thing is, i was the best applicant of 25 applicants, then i fucked it up. so i won, then i lost.

just like i ALWAYS get into the finals of things, but never actually win. its so damn sucky. it is worse than losing from the start because your expectations and dreams go up, then you get let down with a lot of disapointment, and seriously the more it happens the more sucky it is.

Doug

 

1. I used to have braces

2. I have curly, frizzy hair
3. Mick Jagger is my ultimate man.
4. I love classical music
5. I look forward to going on the Internet.

 

WW takes the cake lol jk