My girlfriend recently told me that she wanted to make out with her roomate. When sshe told me this, she was playing with herself. But now, she's confused. It actually made me crazy the way she was talking about her. What should I do? She thinks it'll ruin our relationship. But, I don't think it can cuz it's not like she feels like that for another guy, so why should I be mad? Anybody have any suggestions? Do you think I should promote her doing it or what? Cuz the thought of it makes me happy and I know it would make her happy. ?
I think the first thing you need to do is make sure she knows you support her. Has she said she wants a relationship with her room mate or just wants to play around maybe? As bad as this may sound to you, you might want to let her experience this one alone, because you don't want to get too invested in the relationship if she still has some things she wants to experience. Don't make it about a threesome. Make it about her feeling good and trying something new that interests her. Is her room mate up for anything or is she even aware of this? Lots of things to work out here, best of luck!
Do you think I should promote her doing it or what? promote? she says shes confused by it and you want to promote it? maybe cause the idea turned you on? well..all i can say is thats absolutlythe wrong attitude just be understanding and tell her its ok if she wants to and leave it at that ya promote it as ya say and ya probly will end up dumped for that girl (or girlsz in general) its about her..not you
I gather that she is serious about this, but it may be that its just a fantasy. I don't think she would have told you about the fantasy unless she: A) just wants to try it, and thought it would turn you on too. B) It's just a fantasy, and she wanted to share it with you. I think if you were going to lose her to this other girl, she probably would not have brought it up. If she had definate leanings toward lesbianism, she probably wouldn't be with you. People are different, and they handle siyuations different. As always, talk to her about it - see how seriously she is considering it, and then go from there. There are two people in this relationship right now, and the third is only a possibility right now. Start from where you are, and go from there.
Unless, soaringeagle, he would also like to experiment sexually with others and there is nothing wrong with that. In which case he should make it known to her, and she should be willing to listen. Whether she'll consent to it is a different story, but they should each make informed decisions from this point on. It's actually not just about her, it's about him as well.
I agree with Mrs. H here. I have been lurking and quietly reading threads at a bi fem forum (not posting and disturbing them), and I've learned even more. I thought that I understood these issues well, but every woman is different. They all have different fantasies, desires and needs. Bisexual girls don't all fit into the threesome category. Some want to go alone. Some want one experience, some want many, and finally some want a girlfriend. Some even want a little of everything. Oh, and they may change/learn as they go. This would be a living experience, not some mapped out plan that is fixed in stone. As Mrs. H put things real well. You need to show your love for her and your support of her feelings and fantasies as a whole, not just her girl/girl interest. Welcome and love her whole sexuality. Also, you need to keep communicating smoothly. Keep the lines open and healthy, but don't pressure her. If the oportunity arises, ask her about her desire for her roommate. Ask her if she only wants to experience the fantasy of girl/girl as a one time thing, or more. I don't think that she would risk offending her friend, or push her away for a one time deal. Most women wouldn't step out into that territory with a friend and take much risk. She is probably interested in more than a one time experience. Should this worry you? I say no. It does not mean that she loves you any less. It does not mean that she wants to replace you. It does not mean that she wants to love her friend as she loves you. She may just want "benefits" added to their friendship. I'd bet that she'd like something in between friends with benefits, and a relationship. Something in the middle (that is only an opinion that could be very wrong). She may even like to have a girlfriend, as well as a boyfriend. Would this mean that she'd love you less, not necessarily. Love is not finite. Personally, I don't think that she's made deep plans. Reading your situation, she has some trust in you, otherwise she would not have told you. Also, this is an indicator that if she did have a girlfriend, you'd remain her primary lover. I think that she has had a realization of her interest in her roommate, and that she is considering her options. It may be primarily sexual, but there may be an emotional connection also. Don't fear this, just communicate. Don't make it a threesome deal either. That may be tough, but let it be her call. Not all bi girls want threesomes. Personally, I'd be dying to watch, some of the time, without even being involved in any action. Still, I'd have to excersise self control and respect. I'd try to get pleasure out of it by giving her respect and freedom. This stuff can get deep I guess. Well, assuming things can lead to misunderstandings, so don't take all that I have said to heart. I'm just sharing with you what I've seen other bi girls write about. I could be way off the mark, but now you may have a broader understanding. I certainly didn't want to downplay the fact that she may just be interested in it just for the sake of the experience, as that may be what is driving her. Again, we lead back to the need for COMMUNICATION. Good Luck
Probably just a fetish she wants to explore. If you don't let her explore it, she may be thinking about it anyway. Be supportive!
