When having sex, I think about...

When I'm having sex, I don't think about my fiance. I think about this guy from a movie I love. Is that wrong? I mean, you hear that everyone does it, but does that make it ok?
I even get my fiance to do it with me blindfolded so I can imagine it was this other guy even more.
~Moro

 

Why are you marrying someone that doesn't turn you on?

 

And at 16?

It doesn't sound as if you're doing anything right.

Cancel the engagement, stop having sex until you grow up, and work harder in school.

 

yeah that just sounds fucked up.. hope the guy can find someone who actually thinks about him..

 

fuck you guys, you don't get anything, do you? Man, I'm marrying my fiance because i LOVE him, and he does turn me on, I just like to fantasize while having sex. I have an overactive imagination.
Do you seriously think I'm going to call off my engagement with someone I love just because some idiot on the internet told me to?! Get real!
~Moro

 

I won't say anything about your situation.... aside from...

You just asked for everyone's opinion on is it wrong or not to fantasize about someone else. Don't be surprised if their explanation delves deeper than you would care to have them to. After all... you asked for it.

-Litos

 

Ordinarily I would say that it is not a problem to fantasize about being with someone else, once in a while... But, from the way you make it sound, you do it all the time. And yes, I do think there is something wrong with that situation. You asked for advice. Take it or leave it, but don't get abusive to everyone just because they aren't telling you what you want to hear.

Child.

 

maybe its a sign that you need to examine what you are doing with your life closer. follow what you know is right... teh answers are there, inside of you.

 

Marriage should be a rational co-operation, not a sexual union.

just my normative theory for all future matrimony.

 

Well, I've been married twice... The first time was for love... The second time was more for business purposes... Both ended in divorce.

I will marry the one who makes me happy and I can't stand to be without. For me that includes great sex.

But hey, if sex doesn't mean anything to you, that's one less thing you have to worry about.

 

Sounds like you posted this hoping people would say what you wanted them to. Hoping that the general populace thought it was ok, and then got pissed off that they didnt. If i was your fiancee and found out how you fantasize id be severely hurt. An occasional fantasy MAY be ok, but damn near every time you have sex? Making you fiancee blindfold you just so you can fantasize more? Thats just horrible that you would do that to him. He probably thinks the blindfold is just a innocent kinky thing, yet you make him do it so you can pretend hes someone else. This is pure obsession and what if it changes, what if you find someone in your personal life that you get this fixated to. While obviously nothing could happen with the movie star, what happens if you found someone you knew who you felt just the same? Constantly dreaming about having sex with someone, instead of your fiancee, night in night out, how is that possibly healthy. The more you fantasize it, the more youll want it. And then what if the chance to do it came around? ..

 

what a blessing it is to be able to give my wife such pleasure. Seriously. I think about seeing how many times I can make her cum, and seeing if I can go until she cant take it anymore. When I am down on her, I think about how to be better at it more and more. Then, I think about what I am going to do when she has her first orgasm, and how I will cause a chain of them before we actually have intercourse.

More than that, I think about what a Goddess she is.

 

Wow...if you can't even have sex without imagining it's someone else with your fiance, I really would start reconsidering your marriage. Also, you're an idiot, accept other people's opinion, you opinion is just a blurred image.

 

your just 16??!?! how long have you knowen this guy befor you got tied the bond??

 

Exactly. I feel that if you aren't happy enough being there with your lover and thinking about your lover, you aren't with the right person.

There is no real good reason to be in a position to be having sex with a person but not wanting to focus on the fact that it is that person.

-Jeffrey

 

Yeah, it's our fault.

Hon, you're sixteen tiny years old... You are FAR too young and inexperienced to be getting married. There is very little question that you don't have the maturity for it -- and that is NOT meant as an INSULT. You are not to be expected to be mature enough for marriage at 16.

Where do you get off calling us idiots when you're the one asking if this is wrong? We said YES. You had a 50/50 chance. So now you're upset with the answer you got and that makes us idiots?

I don't know about anyone else, but if I found out that as a general practice, my lover was thinking about someone else who turns her on -- even if I also turn her on -- I'd be pretty annoyed. I want a girl who's there with me, just like I'm there with her... focused on each other, right there in the moment. That's important.

-Jeffrey

 

What a great guy you must be. Your Goddess sure is one lucky lady. As long as she reciprocates the favor, then this is how a relationship should be. You just have to be into the person your with.

Sweetie, if you're already blindfolding to forget who your with, then how the hell are you gonna wake up to him 20 years from now in marriage?? Better think about it.

 

When I fantasise, if I fantasise, it usually involves being with a lover that desires me, and the excitement I feel at least temporarily feeds my unquenchable thirst. But truth be told, I feel lonely if I do not share any fantasy with my lover at least verbally if not physically. I mean, it's us. Hello. The Two of us. Making it. No sooner does she show me she wants and desires me, than all thoughts of others evaporate like mist before the sun and my every nerve and cell is focused on loving and pleasing her. She is real. The moment is real. Everything that is male in me responds to what is female in her...ermm...there are other women out there? No way, José! Hehh..

In fantasy, a wild sex life may sound very exciting, but research shows that faithful married couples have the most emotionally and physically satisfying sex (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael & Michaels, 1994) and I feel the basis for pleasure and satisfaction in the sexual arena comes down to one basic thing - what it means to you.

 

I asked my bf once what he thought about me fantasizing about other people. I was knd of surprised at his answer. I was expecting, "No way, WHY? Am I not good enough?" Instead I got. "yeah, your mind is your own, and if you want to fantasize, go ahead. Just as long as *I* satisfy you more" he said with a wink.

And so far so good!!