When you came out

I have been inspired to start this because of this thread
http://www.hipforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=211348
when you came out to your family and friends what reaction did you get?
see poll above
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When I came out....people close to me already had a clue I was gay....I didnt try real hard to hide it !!!

 

Everybody has been really cool thus far.

Nobody guessed beforehand.

 

For the most part most folks kind of had figured it out or simply didn't care one way or the other. I did have one guy I had always been real close with who had an extremely negative reaction, told me I was a sick MF and never talked to me again. He also told other people we knew in common before I could come out to them. That caused a lot of pain and feelings of betrayal. I'm still only out selectively because of the sensitivity of some of my life circumstances. Folks who need to do know. Others who can't handle my reality don't need to know. It would have been easier in life if I had been able to come out at a young age but back then it was a guarantee of harrassment and worse. Oh Well.

 

Most friends knew for ages, never a big issue... mom was cool..

 

One of the blessings of being gay and coming out is that you find out who your friends are. Some people don't find there real friends until after some tragidy and they abandon ship.

I expected the worst when I came out. And my family and true friends were cool at worst, but eventually warmed up, several were very warm and welcoming. At the time it was more difficult for me and I think everybody could see that.
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My friends and family were all fine when I came out. There were some neutral/surprised reactions (my little brother), and there were some incredibly loving reactions (my older brother). Everyone's been pretty supportive. Though a couple of my friends have told me that they've heard people talking shit about me behind my back, but I don't really care about them - if they want to be bad people, that's their problem, not mine.

I definitely expected worse. I expected a lot of my guy friends to be a hell of a lot more awkward around me, which didn't happen at all. In fact, hardly anything's changed between my guy friends and me.

I guess I was lucky.

 

I've told my mother about 2 years ago, she had mixed feelings, she said it was just a phase. Or that I wasn't thinking right & what did she do wrong or whatnot, but now she seems pretty cool about it. I don't know how she feels exactly because I haven't really asked her. I think I might though. I haven't told my dad yet, but I think he'd either take it really good or really bad. I'm planning on telling him though.
I told my 2 aunts. One of them was all cool about it and really supportive and the other one wasn't really sure but she was okay as long as I was happy.
Then about a week ago, my little sister came out to me. I knew she was bi like me because she made it more obvious than me. & all I was thinking was, don't tell mom yet, cause she's ganna end up blaming me or whatever forcing you to like girls or what ever. But the think is I've never told my sister I was Bi, but she came to me and was like "You're bi right?" 'uhhhh' "well so am I. When are we leaving already?" lol so yeah, that was cool.

 

my experience wasn't so nice. like my family knew deep in their minds I was gay when I was growing up, cuz I always wanted to be Catwoman, Dorothy, and Xena for halloween and stuff, but when I actually came out, my dad threw me out of the house. My mom was very supportive, and said she wasn't surprised. I have a few family members that wont have anything to do with me anymore, but the rest is really helpful. All my friends had already guessed it, and the ones that hadn't were cool with it. My coming out also helped one of my friends come out too, so that was cool.

 

thats very unfortunate, im so sorry the two of you had to deal with that...best wishes to both of you

the friends i have told have all had very good reactions...the ones i havent told, i havent told for a reason. im not sure how one close-ish friend in particular is gonna react: hes a pretty hardcore, traditional catholic who is certainly anti-gay, the question is whether or not it will really matter to him seeing as in his mind im burning in hell as it is. that's one conversation im reaallly not looking forward to....

 

I didn't come out to everyone. It slowly progressed.

First, I told my close friends. They all knew for about a year. Eventually with so many people knowing, word got out. At that point, I was very open about it. Most people were very surprised. I got a lot of "You don't seem gay though". There was never any negative response, to my knowledge. My friends have told me they have never heard anyone say anything either. Everyone in my family with the exception of my father found out soon after that. Everyone was very cool with it, and encouraged me to tell my father. I ended up waiting 3 monthes after everyone else had known to tell my father. He was very accepting, but still very awkward when I talk about my boyfriend. My father was more hurt that I didn't tell him sooner. He felt like we didn't have a relationship in which we can communicate. He was fine though. I haven't had any bad experiences thus far.

 

Well I haven't come out to my parents just yet, but I'm pretty sure that my bro and my mom have an idead because of the type of clothes I wear. I told my close friends in the summer. Some of them said they already knew, and some of my other friends were just like, "oh, thats cool," haha. They were all very supportive. I go to an all boys school which just makes it that much harder because there are a lot of very conservative people, and also I find myself staring at so many people, and there is one guy that I've had a crush on for 4 years. All the girls that I hang out with know and subsequently all the girls at there school know, lol, but I don't really care.

 

As I've been coming out to people, one at a time, the responses have been mostly very positive and supportive, with one exception: my dad. He didn't get pissed off or disappointed or anything. He just sat there, seemingly unmoved or unaffected, like he didn't care, and not in a good way. Later he started telling me stories of people he knew who thought they were gay and weren't, and that he thought that I was going to be one of those people, and so on and so forth. But the really chilling part of that evening was the way he sat there, completely unaffected, not supportive or condemning, not angry or sad or happy or anything. I don't understand how a parent could not show any feelings at all at a time like that. I mean, I almost wish he'd yelled at me or something rather than sitting there so indifferent.

 

Most people had either had the feeling I was or didn't really care when they found out. It was pretty disappointing but I guess it's better then negative. One of my better friends was actually very upset and confused and didn't talk to me for awhile. He said he came to terms with it now but I still think he tries to avoid me. We haven't seen each other in years.

 

For me, most people knew and I have no idea how... If you look at my pictures, I'm not your stereotypical lesbian.I guess my desire for the ladies is written all over my face. haha

 

For everyone who isn't out, it's one of the best things you could ever do. I don't know you're friends or your town, but for me it was like being released from a cage I'd been in for 16 years. I never really cared at all when I wasn't out. It didn't bother me one bit, but once I was, it was awesome. Messing with guys (I don't mean sex) and doing all kinds of crazy gay stuff is the best (for me), especially when you don't have to be scared or worried about it. Then again, I've changed a hell of a lot in the past few years. From being an extremely socially-awkward person, to a 'social butterfly' so to speak, lol.

 

Still not out to my family. However I think for me and most ..most people already know or suspect ..so regardless of what reaction they have. I think its somewhat not genuine as to how they really may feel. They have been influenced by society and tend to want to go with the norm on how they will react.

 

when i told my best friend i was gay, said bye, and threw me outside into the snow, but about 75 percent people said that it makes sense or something like that

 

That's terrible. He needs a lesson in modern times...

 

I only ever came out to my parents, my siblings, and a few friends. Most of the reactions I got from school had been very negative.

My mother took it badly and my dad didn't care. He seemed more confused than anything else. My mother refuses to believe it. My one brother knows and doesn't care and my other brother I am unsure of. I never personally told him.

My parents have both pretty much forgotten about it and think I am straight as if it were a phase.

I don't plan on telling many of my other family members for a while because they either don't need to know or they would react badly.

All in all, I voted for mostly negative reactions, but there were a few positives. Like my sister-in-law. She loves having a gay brother-in-law. And my one friend knows. She never guessed it and was surprised when I told her, but very supportive.

I don't really tell anyone that I know about it because I feel they don't really need to know.