Why do so many str8 folks assume ALL gay men are into anal?

I've been sexually active since 1980. And I've only tried anal sex 3 times. It just didn't do anything for me. In fact, I was totally drunk when I did it. Otherwise, I never would have tried it. I know that many gay men enjoy anal sex, and I'm cool with that. But some of us prefer oral. Hell, not all gay folks are the same, just as not all str8 folks are alike.

So what's so hard to understand? Sorry, but I've been reading some of the "anal sex" posts here: some of it seems pretty harsh and misinformed. (And one post was obviously offensive on purpose.) So I'm just curious. Any feedback is greatly appreciated...

--QP

 

Probably because for het's sex = insert stick A into slot B. It's about penetration. Most people enjoy penetrative sex of one kind or another, so it's an easy to jump to the assumption that all do...but there are just as many het's that don't like penetrative sex either. So yeah, it's all based on generalization.

 

I think its a stereotype most people have, and sadly some arrogant straight people can't seem to let it go, and can't help making jokes about it

 

I think you're right. I'll just be happy when some of these generalizations and stereotypes become less extreme.

--QP

 

Yeah, and I often think the bad jokes are quite revealing...

--QP

 

i think it's because blowjob/handjob/etc doesn't really cut it as 'sex'. and straight ppl don't automatically assume that if you're gay you like sth rammed up your rear end: they're aware it could go both ways --you might be on the receiving end or the giving or both.

i mean, i also assume that a healthy adult heterosexual male has sex. and by sex i mean penetrative sex, not just oral or other. am i being unfair?

you seem to have an issue with being seen as a bottom and view receptive anal sex as sth humiliating. i think in this matter the problem lies with yourself not other people's opinion.

 

I've tried many times to explain to people that this is not the case and have always been met with "then what do they DO??"

 

Since when? I know many gay men that enjoy oral sex, and have never had anal. And not all gay men are into fucking and fisting. I see it as a choice more than a problem.

--QP

 

What about love each other? That's the whole point: reactionary folks imagine the worst. Why do so many of them think being gay is only about sex? Does that also apply to str8 folks? Are they incapable of love?

--QP

 

Well... correct me if I am wro[SIZE=-1]ng but most people assume straight people like vagi[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]nal i[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]ntercourse, eve[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]n if some may [/SIZE][SIZE=-1]not. What is the co[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]ncer[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]n?
The likelihood for a gay couple is that they like a[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]nal sex, a[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]nd that is the ge[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]neral consensus. You will probably eve[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]n see o[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]n this forum how ma[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]ny gay me[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]n like a[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]nal. So what? How exactly are you goi[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]ng to cha[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]nge people's opi[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]nio[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]ns of gay sex whe[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]n for the most part gay me[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]n DO have a[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]nal sex, a[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]nd DO e[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]njoy it?[/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]Above that there are ma[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]ny demea[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]ni[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]ng sexual jokes about straight sex.[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]
[/SIZE]

 

Honeyfugle, where are you getting your information from? Most gay men do not have anal sex. That's largely a str8 myth, oftentimes used by religious folks to condemn homosexuals. And that's the part that worries me. Yes, many gay men like anal sex. But not all. Of the hundreds of gay men I've known in my lifetime, perhaps a third enjoyed anal sex. And a third is a far cry from all or most. Everybody has a right to his/her opinion. But facts are facts. So why the need to distort the numbers, unless for religious and political gain? That's how it seems to me.

--QP

 

blowjobs and handjobs are both sexual acts, yes, but in general sense 'sex' is to a high degree associated with penetration (of either the anus or vagina). when someone says 'i had sex last night' you kind of automatically assume it was penetrative sex, not a blowjob, etc. it's just a consensus that's developed in speech.

yes, it is a choice, but you obviously have a problem with anal sex. otherwise you wouldn't make such a fuss about it. that's what i was referring to in my earlier post.

 

Im straght myself but I dont understand why as soon as some people meet gays they immedately think about sex? When straght people meet for the first time, they dont think " I wonder what he does, or she does in bed ! Sex is not all a gay person is about.

 

And you have a problem with facts: As I stated earlier, I don't think there is anything wrong with someone liking anal sex. More power to them. However, I do have a problem being stereotyped: All gay men are not florists. All gay men are not experts on fashion. All gay men do not like opera. All gay men do not listen exclusively to Judy Garland and Barbra Streisand. And all gay men are not wild about anal sex. Period. Why is that so difficult for you to grasp? I'm just curious...

--QP

 

That's exactly what I've been trying to say! Only you said it so much better, and used fewer words. And I'm supposed to be a poet! LOL. I thank you much.

--QP

 

i got what you said perfectly. honestly these stereotypes are only used by tasteless filmmakers and ignorant bullies these days. most of straight people i've come in touch with don't hold these opinions. i know those stereotypes are out there but anybody ever rarely believes them anymore. plus it's not only gays that are stereotyped, there are tons of stereotypes out there about heterosexual men, women, jocks, blacks, asians, transsexuals, etc etc. everybody is stereotyped. and gays stereotype gays just as much as straight people do. people who are too lazy to delve into the idiosyncrasies or incapable of noticing distinct characteristics of an individual resort to those stereotypes. why let yourself be bothered by such people? they can't tell east from west and you trust their opinion about yourself?

 

Maybe that's true for you but [SIZE=-1]not for me, I have [/SIZE][SIZE=-1]not met a gay ma[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]n who does [/SIZE][SIZE=-1]not like a[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]nal sex. What does it really matter a[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]nyway? I do[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]n't give a flyi[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]ng hoot what my gay frie[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]nds do i[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]n bed together, a[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]nd you should[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]n't care so much what other people thi[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]nk either.[/SIZE][SIZE=-1] I agree with Meridia[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]n. It seems you have some ki[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]nd of problem with a[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]nal sex which is why you[/SIZE][SIZE=-1] do[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]n't wish to be associated with it for whatever reaso[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]n. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=-1]Why does it actually matter if people equate sexual acts to mea[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]n pe[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]netrative sex? Why does it bother you so much k[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]nowi[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]ng[/SIZE][SIZE=-1] that other people might thi[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]nk you are havi[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]ng a[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]nal sex?[/SIZE]

 

Very well said. And I agree with you 100%. Thanks for a most lively debate.

--QP

 

Because I don't like stereotypes. And if you honestly can say every gay man you have ever met is into anal sex, then today is your lucky day. I am a gay man. I don't like anal sex. There goes the stereotype. Which is the true issue. Maybe try reading the entire thread? Just a helpful suggestion.

--QP

 

I have read the e[SIZE=-1]ntire thread actually, tha[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]nks[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]. A[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]nd good for you if you do[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]n't like a[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]nal sex. As it happe[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]ns, [/SIZE][SIZE=-1]neither do I. Let's get o[/SIZE][SIZE=-1]n with our lives.[/SIZE]