Well, I felt compelled to make a thread. Anyways, it's a weird thing, saying I'm a Christian now, after all these years. But I find Christ so compelling now, I can not deny him any longer. But so much about Christianity, the religion, I still feel so alienated from. Or perhaps, it is alienated from me, I don't know, but I feel I am following my heart now and letting go of certain doubts my intellect has typically aroused. Having faith. I grew up Christian and stopped when I was around 14 or 15 simply because I started to think it was all silly and dumb. The Bible in general, was a stupid book of a bunch of ridiculous stories full of elementary moral lessons. And after awhile, I just stopped thinking about God to a point that I was sort of numb to that topic. Things changed about me but I was always steered clear of any religious or spiritual thought due to my previous conclusion of it's pointlessness. Until very recently, I randomly watched (of all things, a movie heavily criticized by certain Christians), The Last Temptation of Christ by Scorsese, and I found myself questioning my perception of Jesus, and I found I was fascinated with this man and his predicament: a human being, a man trying to understand his purpose, and his slow realization, the understanding that he is the son of God and in fact, a part of God himself, and he would not be the predictable and expected Messiah and lead a Jewish rebellion against Rome but instead, he would now have to endure terrible pain and die, to save the souls of Earth for now and until the end of time. One would think, a God shouldn't die, it taints what is to be a God. But it said he endured that out of love. Pretty heavy. I started reading more and more, and realized I was in love with this man. He enamors me. I still struggle with doubt. Jesus did as well, so I don't feel too guilty about it necessarily, but I just wish I could let go and fully embrace God in a consistent manner. All the details, the definitions about certain rules about life, or God, or heaven, or whatever... they get to me at times. I often find myself full of doubt, an intellect confounded, but I still remember, those glorious moments when I've felt a profound sense of purpose, an explosion of love and compassion, and a peace with my perceived existence. I guess what I really believe in is love, and I just so happen to love Jesus and his story, so when I say I find it hard to say I'm Christian, I think it's because of this. And I know many Christians, and unfortunately I feel like I'm like so very few of them.
Welcome back (so to speak). Scorsese's film Is a brilliant piece of art (based of of a novel), however it does not acturately reflect mainstream Christian understanding about the dual nature of Christ. In the film (and book) it is essentially argued that the divine will and human will were occasionally at odds with each other and this caused anguish and turmoil in the mindset of Jesus. Two wills united. Re: rules and prescriptions. I know it can sound cheesy, but the truth is many of the things that fall under the category of "obedience to God", or saying "yes" to God, is what truly sets us free contrary to the secualr notion of do-what-ever-I-want-ism where hedonism is the definition of freedom. Instead we are slaves to ourselves, our bodies, and our desires allowing them to control us. We do not exist on our own, nor do we exist for ourselves.
In this world we exist for and with each other. Within the kingdom of heaven we are co-creators with god. We create now, as god creates, but "do not know what we are doing". By our words in this world, we are justified of temporary conditions. In the kingdom of heaven our very intent begins to marshal quantum arrangement, as in when we look upon another lustfully we have already fornicated. We mind our minds because our minds fashion the world we perceive according to our interests. If we are to have the kingdom of heaven on earth, then let the mind be in us that is in christ. The difference between our elder brother and ourselves is that he has nothing other than love for the father as well as us in kind, no other abiding interest. Nothing to defend, nothing to pursue, nothing but undivided loving attention.
I hope the very best for you on your continual journey. I hope to have interesting conversations with you in the future
Interesting story. I'm an atheist these days, but I'm also a baptized Catholic and re-baptized/confirmed Lutheran. I know I will never come back into the faith. It's just too far gone to me; the thought of God, or even a god, too ridiculous. I've gone back, for Christmas mass with my mother, and I've never felt so alien. The warm, loving atmosphere has become cult-like and scary. But even when I was struggling with my faith, experiencing agnosticism while undergoing confirmation classes, I was very enamored with my church, and even considered the possibility of one day being a preacher. It's an amazing career to me. And I still consider at times, starting my own church, based on the loving, accepting principles that my Lutheran church was so focused on. I've actually given it a lot of thought about how I could pull off a faithless/cross-faith worship center, that still had a sort'f centralized doctrine. There are many aspects of the Bible that inspire me, and in many ways. Many prayers and hymnals that I love. I still say Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep, sometimes. There are times, when I am angry with religion and fight it with the wrath of a non-existent hell -- when early-implanted thoughts and concepts in my mind clash with my current ideology and torment me. But there is also so much I've learned from great Christians; such as a personal hero of mine, Mr. Rogers; and times when I really appreciate the faith and all it does to help those who are struggling. But I think I've digressed. Maybe. I'm tired. I did like the last bit in your OP and want to share my favorite poem; which has become a sort of prayer, to me: My delight and thy delight Walking, like two angels white, In the gardens of the night: My desire and thy desire Twining to a tongue of fire, Leaping live, and laughing higher: Thro' the everlasting strife In the mystery of life. Love, from whom the world begun, Hath the secret of the sun. Love can tell, and love alone, Whence the million stars were strewn, Why each atom knows its own, How, in spite of woe and death, Gay is life, and sweet is breath: This he taught us, this we knew, Happy in his science true, Hand in hand as we stood 'Neath the shadows of the wood, Heart to heart as we lay In the dawning of the day. -Robert Seymour Bridges
Sorry I thought I had already welcomed you when I visited this thread before but I guess not. Maybe I just thought about and fail to to post it. Senility strikes deep. But any way, welcome!
Anti-war should be like anti-wall-street. But these professional programmers seem to inane the original fashion for the context of environmental nature to the business wants.:afro:
