Will i ever feel normal??

I won't go into to many details but i had basicaly a mental break down a few weeks ago (i'm severly bipolar) and had a trip to the ER anyways they decided i should try a cocktail of meds Topamax,seroqel,lexapro. Anyways i feel severly drunk on them. This is my pitty pot it sucks being without medication but it sucks being on them. No i'm not just doing meds, i'm also doing some counsling to learn coping skills because i have none. Also i'm trying to eat even better and exerices more to see if that helps as well.Anybody else on medication for head stuff?

 

I was overly medicated as a child. Trust me. diet is more important than almost any nonsense the shrink tells you. Those drugs, though are probably fucking you up more than helping. That is some moneymaking scheme the doctor put you on. Those are expensive drugs.

 

fuck yeah they are! i'm on over a thousand dollars worth of drugs four hundred of it does come out of my pocket... .... i'm giving it one more week if i still feel like shit i'm going off them... i feel like crap

 

I feel your pain Crystal. I am in a funk too. I started taking my medication again and I'm going back to my Doctor on the 6th of May. She wants to put me on Buspar. I've never been on it.

I'm frustrated too. I have pros and cons being on/off the meds. I don't know if there will ever be a content balance for me.

Years back I had an episode of sorts where the two medications I was taking didn't react well with each other. I had to go to the ER and have them flush the meds out of my system. I went into hysterics.

I'm sorry you have had to experience this too. It's horrible and sometimes there is no light to be seen but if you just keep hanging in there that light will come.

Did you try just the topamax alone? That is an awful lot of meds to be taking together. No wonder you feel drunk on them.

When you went to the ER what did they do for you?

If you ever need to talk I'm here. Maybe we can help each other get through this.

 

well i went to the er because i was in major rapid cycle and well i began cutting on myself, i was on zyprexa they decided i needed a mood stabalizer(topamax), a anti deprsseant(lexapro) andthe seroquel is a anti phycotic for my seve mania.. i just don't know

 

Look into more natural methods of medicating yourself if you HAVE to be medicated. Sometimes people have chemical imbalances that can only be treated with medication. I don't really know your situation to be sure.

I took St. John's Wort for the longest time to help me with my depression and compulsiveness. It helped a lot actually. Maybe there are homeopathic alternatives to what you're taking now.

Not sure.

 

Sometimes love isn't enough. People do have chemical imbalances and those imbalances can make a person feel rage or manic or other horrible feeligns. They can take away all of what a person has worked towards.

I have love and I am still sick. I have been fighting this for years. There are times it is bearable and there are other times I am weak to it.

Love does help. It helps knowing that the person who has to sit by and watch you suffer supports you and will help you find your way.

 

i agree peanuts.. i have a lot of people who love me, i hate the fact they have to watch me d this and i do it to them. I try to get help because i refuse to act the way my mother did towards me, towards my children. When i'm depressed i see no beauty not even in them and its ugly i don't want to be like that, of course when i'm up every thing is beautiful, sadly i can't always stay up...

 

Peanuts, if given the wrong amount of dosage, it can make you really feel fucked up.

When I was diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder in '90, the doctor gave me the wrong amount of Buspar, and it was being mixed with Tetracycline (complexion meds), Thorazine, Lithium, and Imipramine (why that, unsure). I got a consultation from a psych doc last year, and when I told him the combo I was given and the mg's, he was amazed I was still coherent.

I feel fine now and feel that my moods are stabilized rather well. But I do feel for anyone that has to take a 'party pack' of medicines. I am willing to discuss more about this with anyone via email...this is pretty heavy stuff, Crystal and Peanuts.

 

I am not taking a pack of pills. I learned my lesson when I was hospitalized. I probably should be on a combo of things but I am afraid to try it. When the Doctor does prescribe meds we start off at half of the required dose. I am very sensitive to meds. I have had episodes I have almost passed out because when the med kicked in it kicked my ass.

I have children to take care of. I can't let them see me like that either. Lately my sons ask me often if I have been crying. Often lately I have been. I feel horrible they even have to ask me.

I know exactly what your feeling Crystal. I get a happy high and then I get so far down I'm a wreck. I hate the fact I have people around me who have to witness that. This is why I can NEVER give up. I have to keep fighting this. When they are older they will understand I have done my best to keep it together. That I didn't want to ruin their memories of me and their childhood with me. It just gets so tiring fighting it all the time.

I think your children will respect you more for taking the steps to heal yourself. They may not understand what your going through now but someday they will. The counseling will help too.

 

how do you go about having a mental breakdown? i would like to experience one, preferably before my term paper is due on weds...

 

lol you just freak out . basically my mind wouldnt shut the fuck up.


i know peanuts what you mean my kids are still really small so they don't really know whats going on but i get the same question"have you been crying mommy?", but i'm trying to do whatever i have to to be a sane person. If i have to be on a bunch of meds then i guess i have to. I have only been on them for going on two weeks so i'm trying to give it some time but it sucks

 

i'm bipolar crystal and i think you should get another opinion..there is no reason for a bipolar person to be on those medications...maybe they have you misdiagnoised or something.

 

I'm a a med called Lamictal... it's not very well known. But I think that and my slowly working ability of calming my depression into anger (yeah, next I'll need anger management) has helped out a bit

 

i have no clue why i'm on this i've been on a lot of stuff, it does seem like a lot, i can understand the topamax, and lexapro but the seroquel stuff i hate it i'm thinking of just not taking it... what do you take?

 

i refuse to take medication...they made me feel like shit..i'm like nut..i've learned to live with my illness...it's not easy...i'm not trying to make it out to be..but a stable environment helps alot..being a single mother sucks and is hard..but with good family support you can do it girl....meds are evil

 

I'm actually back on my meds and am going to talk to my Doctor in 2 weeks. I can only go a few months without but then I need help again. Right now I need help.

 

If it makes you feel any better, people with your kinda talent often have have chemical imbalences. Like your brain has a hard time coping with being so brilliant.

The only thing I can tell you is I don't know. You could benifit from medicine, but you may still never feel normal. Being normal isn't all its cracked up to be anyway, Just do whatever you need to do to feel better.

Maybe you should ask for another opinion though, it doesn't help out to be so sedate you can't function.

Good luck Crystal. You'll be able to get through this.

 

thanks lodui

 

I take Paxil, Klonopin, Ambien & Seroquel. Crystal, whatever you do, don't go off those medications cold turkey. I did that one time & I went COMPLETELY INSANE. Anytime you need to talk, you know where I am. I check myspace everyday. I've been battling depression & meds for over 15 years, so hang in there...It can be total HELL at times...


Here's a taste of my life right now if it'll make you feel better: my boyfriend dumped me & left town, I attempted suicide, I got fired from my job, and I totally wrecked the fuck out of my car. Oh, and to top it all off, I have a fucking STD. This has all happened in less than a month's time. Hope you feel better now!