Will she leave after she comes to America?

Hi

I am on my mid-forties, I had not been lucky when it comes to relationships, I have been on a couple of healthy relationships in the past, but for some reason they never worked out.
For quite a while, after breaking up with my former girl, I know it sounds corny, but I started to lose faith in love. So, as a way of relaxing and havin a good time, this friend of mine told me about taking one of these tours to Russia which are so popular these days because I’d meet beautiful women, so he kind of talked me into it therefore, with nothing left to lose (except for a couple of bucks), I went on this tour, and indeed I met this death-gorgeous, smart and sincere gal, we just simply clicked after meeting each other, we had the best time together while I was in Russia, and ever since I came back to the states we kept in touch almost every day by phone, chat, and e-mails,. I know it is kind of tough to have long distance relationship, but she’s definitely worth it, plus I go to Russia every time I can.

I am very serious with her, we’re on a one-year relationship now, we have talked about her moving to the states and she’s ok with it.

Lately, I have started to think about popping the question once she moves in, of course she doesn’t know about it.

So here are my concerns:

Do you think I am rushing into things? Or should I just go for it and ask her to marry me?

Do you think it would work? You know, me being American and her being Russian? Or is it that you think she will have a hard time adapting to America and she’ll just feel like going back.







Any piece of advice would be very appreciated


Thanks

 

well, soemtimes those long distance things are more about fantasy than reality..people have different expectations and it's hard to get on the same wavelength,even though it feels like you are connected sometimes that's your own desire for connection tricking you. I hope that's not the case for you , just saying it can be very different when you are with them for a long period of time than it was when you were dreaming about it.

Then there is the unpleasant possibility she's playing you to get into the country and could drop you like a hot rock once she's got citizenship...I mean it does happen. and you probably have that concern in the back of your mind given you posted this. I dunno, man, we never know what's really going on in somebody else's mind. Follow your heart but don't shut off your head. Hope it works out for you , I know it's hard at our age to start over, I feel for you.

 

A year is not "rushing" into anything. Every time you get into a relationship you run the risk of it not working out. The only difference here is that she is from Russia and not local. So, what would you lose if things didn't work out? No one wants a relationship to fail, but we have all been through at least one, and we all live to complain about it. I figure if she has waited a year for you then she cares about you and it isn't just a ticket to the US, but that is my opinion.

As for a Russian bride, it is possible for it to work out. A friend of mine married a Russian woman (met her in the same way) and she is great! They have been married seven years and are happy. Not saying it is a guarantee, but it is possible. She will adapt as Russian women are strong willed and resilient.

Best of luck!

 

Marrying a foreigner does not guarantee citizenship in America. If you bring her over here and marry her, and then she dumps you and you divorce her, she loses her status as the wife of a citizen, and would have to leave, unless she comes up with another reason to get a visa, such as becoming a student, or she could stay illegally. So you do have some leverage over her.

 

Life is a gamble as you at that age should know for sure.


As the the whole Russian/American issue, shit man we all came from different backgrounds and I know alot of guys that have wives from other countries and are doing 100% great (minus the normal any relationship stuff)

As for her taking off on ya and somebodies leverage advice well.... I dont think I would desire to be with a person and them me just becuase they felt this obligation, and yes there is no sure way to know what anyones inentions are.

I can only say to treat you and her well, care, and if you feel the need to further this then go for it. No risk no gain.

 

Take a look around these forums :-

http://www.rwguide.com/forums/index.cfm

It has alot of info on Western/Russian marrige.

 

Marry her after your living together for over a year.
Long distance is exciting because you can't have it. See if your both in the same head after your together and know one another better.

 

She can only come to the US for a reason unless it's tourism, and if she comes as a tourist she cannot stay in the US over (hmm...3 months, me thinks).

If you do get married she will have to prove that she has lived together with you for at least 3 years. She can't run away, unless she wants to be an illegal.

 

I am a Russian woman. I have been married to an American for more than 8 years. Also I associate with a group of about 100 Russian women that have married American men. So far I have only known of three divorces out of almost 100 couples. That is a far cry from my husband’s friends who are almost all divorced from American women.

 

Interesting situation. The very first thing you should do is voice those concerns to her directly, but in a sensitive manner. The other thing you should do is have her visit you here for, say, a month (you're spending money going over there anyway, so buy her ticket), then make any commital decisions or not based on a climate of complete understanding.


I don't see any other way both of you would be able to make informed decisions.

 

If I was going to get married and divorced at least I would prefer it to be with a hot Russian or Latin girl 20 years younger than me rather than stay married to a fat old nagging American woman for the rest of my life.

 

If I was going to get married and divorced again at least this time I would prefer it to be with a hot Russian or Latin girl 20 years younger than me rather than a fat old nagging American woman for the rest of my life.( AKA my ex-wife).

 

how shallow..just marry someone you get along with, not because they are 20 years younger.

 

I look at a site just last night and was so amzed at the beautiful and nicely women.
I like the russian woman;s post.
I think european women have a better mindset than american women in general.
I noticed it alot when The Bachelor had all european women to pick from.
Those women (European) seemed much more real and authentic than avg plastic americanos.
What tour did you take ?

ANd I think if marriage is that important to you then you need to ask her ....

 

Ha! I knew a guy that did the Russian girl thing. She dumped him like a hot potato at the 1 year mark.

 

Give it a few months of living together. If you feel things are going great then ask her.

 

Yeah man today looks different than yesteday....sweetie's more on track than me with that marriage timeline