Women's reactions when they find out you are bi?

I had a lot of ongoing non-exclusive MF relationships in the 1970s, and a shitload of brief encounters.. there were a few who knew I occasionally fancied a guy in bed as well.. it didn't seem to be a big deal back then.. one lady was interested in joining the MM fun, but it didn't happen..

I told my wife (49 years now) BEFORE we entertained the idea of making a life together that I'd been with some guys.. she didn't seem to mind.. the promise of exclusivity going forward - if that is of paramount importance - is really all that matters.. she claimed to be a virgin (she told the truth; at least regarding vaginal penetration), but her past wasn't what was on my mind.. one cannot change the past.. one CAN act differently going forward..

it's been a great life.. fun and not-so-fun times.. kids, grandkids, life in a mountain town for 35 years.. another grandchild due within a week..
easy times.. hard times..

but none of it would've happened without accepting each other's "I promise to try".. every day..

everyone has skeletons in their past.. keeping one's eyes on today and tomorrow is the key..

 

If 9.3% of folks identify as LGBTQ+, I'd assume that 90.7% identify as straight. Aside from cultural norms, due to the inherent inequities in a patriarchal system I'd suspect that the majority of women are more interested than men in exclusive, long-term relationships with potential mates, and that would tend to look a lot like monogamous heterosexuality. That would tend to disadvantage Bisexual males in the dating (mate selection) process.

 

When I was dating my first girlfriend in college, I realized at one point that she thought I was bisexual. This was in 1974 sometime. I had an older friend that was my manager at a bank I worked at part time. He was married, and my girlfriend and I spent time with him and his wife. In a conversation at some point talking about my friend, she said, "I thought you two were getting it on" like it was no big deal and shrugged it off. We weren't at the time, but he and I became an item ten years later.

In hindsight, there were a lot of intriguing things about her. She's my big "what if" in my life.

 

LS…. apologies. I do not consider myself bisexual…. more of bicurious. 40+ years ago me and my next-door neighbor buddy started giving each other mutual BJs. That went on for a couple of years until our family moved away. Discovered women, and that was the end of any bi thoughts. FF to when me and my current wife were initially sleeping together. Early on, we had a pillow talk moment…. experiences and fantasies. She confessed her fantasy of having a MFM and having sex with another woman. COOL! Then she asked if I had ever been with another guy? I confessed about my SB way back in the day. She was shocked, to the point I thought she was going to leave me. Fortunately she did not, and the idea seemed to grow on her of me being with another dude. Got married, and we both got into her MFM fantasy,anal and pegging. we had a few MFMs with a trusted friend, and SHE suggested finding a bi guy for a MMF. Again COOL! we looked, but could not find anyone acceptable.
Again, I don’t consider myself bi, more bi-curious. Have not touched another guy in decades. I wish my wife was still as open-minded as she used to be. She is the only person that knows about my SB.

 

Three of my past long-term female lovers were curious about my sexual experiences with men.

One just wanted to know so she could be assured that I did not regularly engage in risky sexual practices and that I had been tested for STIs.

One was a family therapist who told me that gay experiences usually taught men how to better understand a woman's perspective.

And one, who was actively bisexual herself, wanted to know about my bisexual fantasies, but not about my past experiences with men. She was a strong believer that you should not "kiss and tell".

My current female lover never talks about her past sex life, and I never talk about mine. Sex with her is excellent. Occasional safe sex with male lovers is also very satisfying.

 

I question the 9.3%. If anonymously asked, with a proper definition of being bi and no potential of being "outted", I would think that number would go to at least 25%...just my 2 cents...

 

I would agree with you. In my experience, there are a lot of men that are certainly bisexual behind closed doors but would never outwardly identify as such. I've also encountered men that claim to be bi, but don't have any real interest in women. They are all careful about being "outed." I've always doubted the 10% number that is tossed around.

 

Yeah, every time I see percentages getting involved in this, I tend to roll my eyes because I am sure that whoever spun the numbers didn't have a big and diverse group enough to make sense and more so when, true enough, there are a lot of bisexuals, both male and female who, if you asked them, would tell you that they're heterosexual (and for obvious reasons). Because there are gay folks, you can't assume that this 90.7% identifies as straight...

 

It's very difficult to carry out these studies, especially since there is so much social bias on both the part of the scientists and their subjects with respect to sexuality. But I tend to agree with you guys above in your analysis: 9.3% is not accurate, especially with how people interpret that number, with people saying matter of factly, oh yes, 90% of the population is straight, and the LGBTQ+ population is a tiny minority.

I think the scientists also need to distinguish (which some small studies have) between how people identify themselves and what their actions have been. You could easily identify as a straight man (for all kinds of different reasons--the biggest of which I believe is internalized homophobia) but still enjoy having at least oral sex with other guys. Of course every guy is completely free to assume his heterosexual identity even though he loves cock, and truly believe that's what he is, and he could actually be that. But despite how they identify themselves, I don't think they are a true Kinsey 1. I don't believe the general population people who are saying heterosexuality is more than 90% of the population would say that a heterosexual person having even just oral sex with someone of their own sex is still heterosexual, despite the scientists saying that. But I believe that 90% number includes them.

So how many straight people out there are actually having at least oral sex with members of their own sex? Even more, how many people identifying as heterosexual are fantasizing about having sex with members of their own sex, but not acting on those desires--straight guys having desires for cock, and straight girls having desires for pussy and the softness of a woman, but haven't acted on those desires yet, or perhaps never will? Would you say these people are 100% straight, a Kinsey 1? Maybe then we might be getting closer to @MichaelThom60's 25% LGBQ? I wonder. That Q could technically include a hell of a lot of people.

 

It begs the question of if "Gary" is a straight dude - but he enjoys oral sex with other men - does it really mean that he's straight or is he really bisexual but could be assumed to be gay? And how do you quantify it? Do women even care about the numbers?