Wouldn't this piss you off too?

Well, I need to vent about something sexual and figured this would be the perfect place to do so. After you read it, reply as to wether it would piss you off too. This is gonna be a long post, as I am including a part from a book at the end.

This past Saturday, my fiance and I were laying in his bed kinda kissing and cuddling. He asks me if I would go down on him. So, I said "What do I get?" and "Whats in it for me?" (if I ain't gettin my kicks then he isn't, its not fair). So, he sits there for a good minute or so and said "I'm not really motivated to go down on you. I ate four chili hotdogs and its laying on my stomach." I just replied in a hurt voice "oh..." He said "Lay on my stomach and see if it hurts". Yeah right like I am going to lay on his stomach and him laying there naked with a huge hard-on. He keeps saying "Lay on my stomach to see if it hurts", and I keep replying "No...". Finally he said "Are you mad at me?" And I reply with a soft no. After a few moments he has the balls to say "Are you still gonna go down on me?" I say in a voice like he did "No I'm not motivated enough."

Here's the part from the book that goes along with my venting. Its from Whoopi Goldberg's "Book".

"...Men have a hard time when the situation is reversed. They don't uinderstand why a woman wouldn't want to get involved, or have his kids, or take him into her mouth and swallow him whole. Oral sex is always the great equalizer in a relationship, isn't it? Its a litmus test, and I don't know if guys will ever pass. The fastest way to lose a relationship is to ask a guy to go down on you. That's when you'll know. If he won't, find someone else. If he will, then maybe life will be good. Even if he sucks at it, you can at least teach him. He can learn. Most guys don't like to eat the fuzzy, and the few who do are usua;lly too aggressive or haphazard to make it worth their trouble. They'll chomp you like cows in a field, you know. Women used to be sent away to school to learn how to sexually please a man, but these places should be coed, and there should be classes on dick sucking and rug munching and everything else too. Why the f--- not? Why do guys ask for head but they're not willing to give it back? Why should it be okay for a guy to get his ya-ya's out and go from person to person,while if a woman sleeps around she's some kind of slut? This last, I think, is a cultural thing, and its primarily American. The Frenchdon't have that problem. Maybe the English have the same problem, but I don't think the English f---, so we'll never know. American men don't want their women to have had a whole lot of sexual experience. They want to take you down that road on their Harley. Its okay for them to have been there, because now they knowtheway, but they want to show it to you for the first time. ..............Ultimately, we are packing the same equipment....And who thef---- are you to tell us how much mileage we should have on our equipment, or how to use it, or how often?......"

AMEN TO THAT!


Okay my venting is over. What do you think?

 

I don´t think sex should always imply instant gratification. I enjoy doing things to my lady and just have her lay there. And by the same token, sometimes she´ll do things to me and not always expect something in return. As long as it all evens out in the long run it´s ok. As long as it´s not one sided and he´s not going GIMME GIMME GIMME and never giving in return it should be OK.

That being said, he should have taken the hint when you asked "what´s in it for me".

 

Well, there have been a great many many many times (over 50 times) that I have gladly gone down on him without even thinking or asking him to retun the favor. Whenever and where-ever he asked for it, I gave it to him and never asked him to pleasure me.

I was just hurt that he wasn't motivated enough to go down on me but was more than willing for me to pleasure him. It just don't seem fair.

 

hmm... I can see why this pissed you off. I mean, if he wanted some he should've been willing to give you some back if you requested it. You don't always have to please eachother equally in the same sitting, but if that's what you wanted, he should have sacrificed. So yea, I can see your point. Going down isn't exactly popsicles and peaches. Peace and better luck with your man next time.

 

yes, i'd be pissed off too! but why did you tell him you weren't angry about it when you were? i'd have let him know.

 

tell him to piss off, if he is having an upset tummy from the hot dogs he wold have way to much gas to be going anywhere close to that region of his body...........tell him he aint gettin shit if you don't get yours. i know this may sound really selfish but if i don't get head in return i don't give it!
​

 

you can always take turns. some days maybe one of you will recieve pleasure. but you have to learn to get pleasure from their pleasure. you also need to take an art course to learn the neon green doesn't work on a light purple background.

 

I'll go down on you if your boyfirend won't.........

 

Well excuse me when I typed it was a peachy background.

 

What's good for the goose is good for the gander...
Turnabout is fair play...
Tit for tat...

'Nuff said.

 

Thanks for the offer MaxPower but I have to decline. Wish I could take you up on that offer. Thanks anyway.

 

You know out of all the partners I ever had, there was only one girl who went down on me with more frequency than I did on her. As for the rest, the ratio was always in the neighborhood of 10 'rug munches' to 1 'blow job'.

 

Well it used to be 50 blow jobs to every 0 rug munches.

Now its more like 8 blow jobs to every 1 maybe 2 rug munches.
Thats only if I'm lucky.

 

Ugh! It sounds like you need to reconsider wanting to marry this kind of guy.

Maybe I'm different, maybe I'm not the norm, but I relish going down on a woman, probably more than I enjoy having a woman go down on me. What a way to endear yourself to a woman -- to give her sweet intimate pleasure orally! Who doesn't want to be loved and appreciated for that? (I guess selfish guys who simply want to get off themselves with no thought for their partner.)

Maybe you ought to just keep looking, and find yourself a man who is as much about your pleasure as you are about his. It's about time you took the attitude that you ought to be getting your pleasure too. There's nothing wrong with your willingness to go down on him whenever, wherever -- 'cause that's how I am with a woman, since I so love to lick pussy -- but when he expects it and feels no obligation to do it back? No good.

Your first post about this reminded me of a woman I was involved with, who had attitudes about sex that I did not relate to (and didn't want to). She saw it as a power game, and seemed to feel it had to be tit-for-tat. Sex was one way of getting what you wanted from a person. She's the type who would give extra sex so her lover would take her on a cruise as a reward -- that sort of thing. She felt that if she gave you an orgasm, you had to get her back. It was a sort of transaction with her, instead of a loving and passionate give-and-take. I'm having trouble articulating exactly what was wrong with her attitudes about sex, but suffice it to say that it made me uncomfortable to be with someone who was not simply into lovemaking for the sake of lovemaking. I am still looking for someone I can love and be loved by, who will want to make love all the time just because it's fun and pleasurable, and they're hot and horny. I need someone whose libido matches pace with mine. You seem to need that too.

edited to add: I guess that there are just some people in the world who do certain sexual things because the other person wants them, and others who do them because they actually enjoy doing them. I'm the latter. It sounds like your fiance is the former.

Blue skies,
-Jeffrey

 

I've never asked for oral sex, guys just do it on their own. Everyone I've been with claims to enjoy it, I don't know. I reciprocate equally, it's not like I keep track though.
Whoopi is a lesbian right? That's probably why she's so biased, not all men are like that, most guys I know love doing it, and these are guys that have no reason to lie to me. Your guy sounds like a jerk though. Selfish.
Do 69, problem solved.

 

Amen and a Hallelujah to that - girl juice rocks!

 

Oh but for goodness sake keep that thing shaved - then u get nightly oral!

 

Metro-Thats what I was aiming for that night, to do the 69. We did that a couple times in the past and it worked out really well for the both of us. I'm not sure if Whoopi is a lesbian or not.

bft4ever-I 100% agree with you.


PeacefulJefferey-I have been thinking a lot about what you said. I love my fiance so much I can't even imagine leaving him. I can see where you are coming from.

Parnell-If shaving were the case for getting oral nightly then I should recieve it day and night.

Thanks everyone for your replies!

 

men will be men, we luv our oral, even bad oral. But on the flip side, most men dont know what they are doing downstairs and hate askin for help, its like they get embarresed to say "how should i be eatin this" - anyways - i love licking the luv button, seein ur faces, rowrrrrrr, anywyas - as i see it, if he anit doin it know, he wont do it later (but wtf do i know) - peace luv & pot - MGDG

 

sex is a reflection of how selfish a person is in love. someone who truly cares first for the other person's happiness will be more than happy to pleasure them in whatever way possible i.e. a giver.. conversely someone who insists on their own pleasure at the other's expense is one I would seriously reconsider having a serious long term relationship with.. let them find someone who is as selfish as they are.