I have a question for you guys but female input is welcome as well Do you think that a woman who stays home and takes care of her family has it easy? The reason I ask is because i am super frustrated right now I stay home and take care of my son as well as my Bf I get up in the am and make him coffee, breakfast and lunch I clean the house, do the laundry, cook and raise my 6 mo old I'm not complaining about any of these things, I enjoy doing them In fact it's really important to me to be at home with my son and focusing on my family And you can be damn sure I'm not sitting around on my ass I'm pretty much busy all day long and any free time I have I use to sew because I make and sell clothes So, anyway, I'll get to the point On top of this my BF wants me to get a freaking job This really makes me question the relationship I am busy, busy, busy as is and I'm not willing to sacrifice my family just to have a little more pocket change If we were having a hard time paying the bills that would be one thing but he just wants more money I think family is more important than money Are there any men left in the world that care about being men and letting women be women I dunno we've only been together 6 mos and this is a big issue with me I want to be a mama and a wife before anything else Maybe its time to check out before things get more complicated
From one guy's point of view...I think what you are doing is correct and it will pay off down the road. Spending time with you son is absolutely the best way to raise him. Day care has come a long way, but it does not subsititute for good parents raising their kids, instilling the values that you feel are important, making him feel your love every day, just being with him. Plus, it sounds like you have a side business that brings in some money. My opinion, I would much rather have my G/F taking care of the house, the kids, cooking, cleaning, etc. This seems like a fair and equitable distribution of the work involved in having a family. Should you dump the B/F? Only you can answer that one and I suppose it depends on your level of frustration. No relationship is perfect so we all have to make certain compromises to stay together. Hopefully you can convince him that the current arrangement is best for you, him, and most importantly, your precious little guy. Good luck!
Assuming he is already working, tell him if you are going to be working too, he is going to have to share the work at home as well. If he has a problem with it, then it's definitely time to move on. I figured I should add... if he changes his mind about you working because you ask him to share the housework, that too would be a reason to move on as far as I'm concerned.
It's nice to hear a guys pov ty My son is definitely the most important thing to me and yes Id really like to have that family that I talk about But you can't force it and I honestly think we are very different in our ideas, as far as whats important He is very focused on money My priorities obviously lie elsewhere I am just concerned that it is inevitably(sp?) doomed and I don't want my son to get too attached if thats the case
if he just wants more money, tell him to go out and get it himself you don't have to change your priorities or lifestyle to accomodate his desire for more money if you don't share the same goals as he does, maybe it's a good time to think about the relationship
His logic is" well when youre working you just dont need to worry about the house, you can take care of it on days when youre not working" Am I just supposed to let the housework build up? Whos gonna cook? I dunno, it's really beside the point point because Im not willing to do it
If your priorities and core values are really that different, upon further review, perhaps you should strongly consider making the move. Your point about your son getting too attached is a strong one. Not prying, but I assume your current BF is not his father? If he is not, that makes it easier to move on, but if he is, that certainly complicates the situation. You are very likeable - money isn't everything.
That should be enough for you to walk... seriously... he obviously has no clue or desire to understand what makes a house into a home, and has no respect for what you do. I'm 99% positive you think too much of yourself to stay around for that shit...
right, he is not his father and has been kinda wierd with him in that way he loves him but not like a daddy would that makes me uncomfortable as well hahaha hearing myself say all of this is kinda like a big wake up call lol
i'm glad that resonated with you i wish you the best in figuring things out and gettin a feel for the best step for you to take eace:
I believe you have pretty much made up your mind and the advice I and others have put forth just confirms what you instinctively felt was the right thing to do. Interestingly, in none of your posts did you refer to having strong feelings for your BF. Not to imply that you don't (hopefully you wouldn't live together if you didn't) but it didn't enter into any of your posts.
I do care about him, of course I'm just not an emotion driven person Not to say that I don't have emotions, but I try to make decisions based on logic I guess I spent plenty of time flying by the seat of my pants when I was younger, because of one feeling or another I learned my lesson I can't take good care of my son if Im not thinking clearly and he is the most important thing
Well, good luck with your decision. It sounds like it's time for a big talk with your BF...get your feelings out in the open, let him know exactly how you feel. For all you know he may make the decision to leave you if he is totally not in sync with your feelings.
yvw - someone like you (pretty, great mom, traditional values) will ultimately find a suitable person to share your life with. Who knows, maybe when you have the talk, he will come around and realize how lucky he is to have you.
