Your Daily dose of George Carlin

3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE


This is for all of you George Carlin fans out there!

 

3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE

(3-10-08)
"
Popular beliefs

THE SKY'S THE LIMIT. Well, how can the sky be the limit? The sky never ends. What kind of limit is that? The Earth is the limit. You dig a hole and what do you keep getting? More Earth. The Earth is the limit."

3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE
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3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE

(3-11-08)

"Do you realize that right now-right this second-somewhere around the world some guy is getting ready to kill himself? Isn' that great? Do you ever stop to think about that kinda shit? I do. It's interesting. It's fun."

3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE
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3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE

(For: 3-12-08)

"ALL SUICIDE, ALL THE TIME

Suicide is an interesting topic, because it's an inherently interesting decision: to decide voluntarly not to exist anymore. It's profound. You know what it is? It's the ultimate makeover."

3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE
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You know, I think George is too cerebral.


I'll go with Hedberg and Steven Wright anytime.

 

3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE

(For: 3-13-08)

"ALL SUICIDE, ALL THE TIME

Suicide would be natural on television. You could have an all-suicide channel. On cable TV, I'll bet. Shit, they've got all-golf. What the fuck? Must die TV!"

3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE
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3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE

(For: 3-14-08)

"ALL SUICIDE, ALL THE TIME

People would compete for Most Unusual Method: They'd be jumpin' off of barns, lightin' themselves on fire, puttin' rat poison on a taco, drinking Mop & Glo, sticking mothballs up their ass. You'd probably have some weird fuck show up who figured out how to kill himself with a stinger missle and some dental floss."

3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE
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3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE

(For: 3-15/16-08)

"If a radio station changes its call letters, moves its studio across town, hires all new disc jockeys, and changes the style of music it plays, but keeps the same frequency, is it still the same raido station? Suppose they change only the music?"

3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE
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3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE

(For: 3-17-08)

"Being Irish, I guess I should resent the Notre Dame nickname, "The fighting Irish." After all, how long do you think nicknames like "The Bargaining Jews" or "The Murding Italians" would last? Only the ironic Irish could be so naivly honest."

3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE
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3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE

(For: 3-18-08)

"No one can ever know for sure what a deserted area looks like."

3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE
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3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE

(For: 3-19-08)

AIRLINE ANNOUNCEMENTS

""We'd like to begin the boarding process." Extra word:"Process." Not necessary. Boarding is sufficient. "We'd like to begin the boarding." Simple. Tells the story. People add extra words when they want things to sound more important than they really are. "Boarding Process" sounds important. It isn't. It's just a group of people getting on an airplane."

3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE
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3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE

(For: 3-20-08)

"People no longer have problems in this country, they have issues. This shift grows out of our increasingly desprate need to shade the truth and see things as more positive than they really are. Problems sound negative and ordinary; issues sound important and worthy of attention."

3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE
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3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE

(For: 3-21-08)

CELEBRITY CRYSTAL BALL

"Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, and Billy Grahm will lead a nationwide prayer vigil and ask God to do something about America's moral climate. God will promptly strike all three of them dead."

3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE
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3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE

(For: 3-22/23-08)

"I have as much power as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it."

3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE
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3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE

(For: 3-24-08)

ALL SUICIDE, ALL THE TIME

"During sweeps months ... on the All-Suicide Channel ... you're gonna have to go with mass suicides. Huge, public events, on live television, where hundreds of people kill themselves all at the same time."

3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE
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3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE

(For: 3-25-08)

ALL SUICIDE, ALL THE TIME

"To build up a large pool of suicide volunteers we need people who can be easly persuaded to kill themselves. Essentially, what we're looking for are people without hope: individuals society has given up on, fate has given up on, or who have completly given up on themselves."

3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE
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3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE

(For: 3-26-08)

ALL SUICIDE, ALL THE TIME

"Let's put in the office of Vice President of Programming at the All-Suicide Channel and analyze what there is to work with. We find ourselves blessed with an abundance of homeless, imprisoned, condemmed, depressed, and terminally ill people-- probably millions of them. In other words, we've hit the jackpot."

3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE
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Yeah.Love Carlin.

 

3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE

(For: 3-27-08)

ALL SUICIDE, ALL THE TIME

"I'm convinced that in this deprived culture that so devalues human life and dignity, and where reality television has convinced everyone they belong on national TV, I'm convinced that if you added in the excitement of a brand-new All-Suicide Channel debuting with maximum publicity, you could get five hundred of these hopeless people to hold hands and jump into the Grand Canyon."

3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE
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3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE

(For: 3-28-08)

ALL SUICIDE, ALL THE TIME

"If you really want to raise the profile of this promotion--if you really want to attract attention--get a bunch of those evangelical Christans to participate and call it "Jump for Jesus!" They'd go for it in a minute. "Jump for Jesus!""

3XCARLIN
AN ORGY OF GEORGE
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