you're so fat, go eat another cookie.

my grandmother confuses the hell out of me.

she says i must be fat, because when i jump the floor vibrates a bit. this can't be because the house is 94 years old, of course.

she then tells me the next day that i should buy chocolate chips and bake more cookies.

then the next day, im getting chunky. i should stop eating "all those doughnuts and cheese danishes." what? i haven't eaten a fucking doughnut or danish in 3 months. you ate the whole box yourself, silly woman.

then when im not there to see, she slathers my food in butter.

i dont eat butter. she knows this.

what kind of crazy complex must she have?!

 

Your grandmother has issues.

 

i think shes getting a teensy bit senile

 

she's old

 

Yeah, especially if she thinks YOU'RE fat. If anything, you need to gain about 20 lbs.

 

haha we replied the same thing at the same time!

 

Is she fat?

 

nope, shes a normal size. from pictures of her when she was younger, she used to be very slim.

 

Are you fat?

 

depends on the definition, i suppose.

 

I think you're gran maybe trying to make you lose weight by slipping laxatives in your cookie mix thereby making her "You're fat, have a cookie." extremely logical.

Old people are very devious.

 

Bake your grandma some cookies.

 

good plan.

 

Just old age...

 

whats wrong with butter?

 

butter is better than margerine

 

i know...and delicious...especially on bacon

 

holy cholesterol

 

i am not concerned at all

i don't do it everyday...its like a treat...a delicious treat in the morning

 

Maybe you ate a cookie she was planning on eating and she's just bitter and taking it out on you inappropriately. That seems logical. The idea that you're fat is not logical, however. If you're fat, then I'm a whale, and trust me, I can't spend long amounts of time under water.