AUTISM (Revisited)

I know I had posted this topic earlier this month. I could have added to the original post, but I wanted the word to be seen again; especially in light of this month being shorter than the eleven others.

I was allotted eight (8) hours of testing time with a neurological psychiatrist. Basically, she specialized in administering and evaluating the results of the tests that she was performing. Her observations included things that went beyond the final results. For example, she noted that when I was performing some of the tests with blocks (create patterns with the blocks that would match the patterns shown in the book), I would verbalize what I was doing and point to places on the block in order to notify myself as to what I needed to seek. Boy, if she had wanted to see this aspect of my thought process, she should have given me an abacus test. I verbalize almost all moves in every column.

I'm moving away from being angry about this diagnosis even though a lot of what is written about it fits. I had special interests that were shared by few. I was good with repetition, and I would be frustrated when my labors would be torn apart and re-worked. Imagine--if you will--creating an itinerary for someone with air, hotel, and car reservations and then having it cancelled and rebooked. And each time this would be done, the person would get angry because he/they/it/she would be told that were is an additional airline-imposed fee for changing the ticket. Ugh!

Sales was not a great job for me. It required too much interaction with people who were too whiney, needy, indecisive... and often they were making these arrangements on behalf of someone else so if they were to 'screw up' with the order, guess who would get blamed! I didn't like getting thrown under the bus. And, quite often, there would be times when I would hear myself muttering and uttering obscenities (in some language or another) regarding the events, or my co-workers, or the products themselves. GLAD THAT IS A THING OF THE PAST, boy howdy!

I do, however, wonder about my future. I have not been successful in finding a longterm partner. I doubt one will appear anytime soon. And I also am not all that thrilled about having others live with me these days. I have had people eat my food, invite others over, smoke in my home, and/or do things that were not too much to my liking.

I'm sure I will be revisiting AUTISM as long as I continue to write.