Conclusions.

And another recurring theme in my life is who should pay for all this stuff. Usually it comes up for minor things. But in the case of who will pay for all my expensive medical care and who will pay to ensure I have a good standard of living, especially after I've been damaged and abuse for all my life, it isn't. Like when the psychiatrist I started seeing in 1986, Dr. Bazini, dropped me in 1992, he gave us a summary of his notes from our meetings around that time. It was obviously meant to look silly. One part said he saw me in his office in wintertime around Feb. 8, 1992. And I was wearing winter gloves in his office, in wintertime as I said. And he was alarmed and feared the worst. And they were clearly all written at once with the idea I would read them and see they were fakes and silly nonsense. Or the office of my last psychiatrist Dr. Chang said I could come in and get my records. Which would be interesting, because I am just curious what my diagnosis is. He revealed before he dropped me it was probably a personality disorder, not a paranoid schizophrenic who wore deadly gloves. But that's all people will reveal. They say my diagnosis is a secret now again. And it racks people like Eric with guilt for some reason. But I'd still like to see the notes. But you know I'd have to pay for them this time. About $100 IIRC. Like I told someone, I can get jokes online for free. I don't need to be paying for that. And now the Michigan Judicial Tenure Commission has joined that sick joke. They want me to go on pointless errands, find and pay for expensive notary publics, waste time and really my life, possibly the rest of my life, doing that. All to have them keep telling me I sent the wrong form or that I got it notarized the wrong way, I think they said this time. Which doesn't even make sense. Like I tell people, I have problems with social IQ. But I'm not that stupid. And I thought I could trust them. I thought they policed all the rest. Who watches the watchers. But they weren't. They are part of it all, there is no one I can trust, this will never be over. No one has even told me it's being looked into, not that I'd believe them at this point if they did. And if someone even went out of their way to prove it to me, I'd have to assume they're lying again. And just going to great lengths to deceive me. Plus they don't care who they hurt or how they hurt them, they feel no need to conform to society's rules, or to admit fault even once they've been exposed. And now with most of my life lived, with my life falling down around me and me just trying to live the rest of my life in peace, I am supposed to be spending the rest of my life doing this instead.