I'm Trying to Be Better

I heard it in a movie I had seen recently; SONG SUNG BLUE.

The sentence stuck with me. Why? Because for some reason it seemed to resonate with me and I felt as if it would answer the question, "What was your take-away from this film?"

Before I answer, my brain goes through a process of context. One of the songs in the film was SWEET CAROLINE. That song in May, 1969. That's almost 56 years and seven months ago. Why is that information important? Because if I put myself in May, 1969 and I try to think about what music was popular 56 years and seven months earlier, that date would be May, 1913.

According to WiKi :
"The song reached No. 4 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart in the week ending August 16, 1969,[8] and was certified gold by the RIAA on August 18, 1969, for sales of one million singles. "Sweet Caroline" was also the first of Diamond's 58 entries on the US Easy Listening chart, peaking at No. 3."

Top 40 Pop Song Chart for 1913 Take a look at the songs that were popular back then. Other than Ave Maria, I don't think too many people sing the tunes on that pop chart. Neil Diamond, however is still loved and listened to. Perhaps he's not a favorite among the masses, but I'm sure you'll find homes that have a single or an LP or two with his name on it or them.

From 1913 to 1969 there were two world wars, one Korean Conflict, and a whole heck of a lot of bad stuff going on in/during the Vietnam. Have things changed? Lots of wars have gone on between 1969 and today.

Vietnam
Granada
Panama
Persian Gulf
Operation Enduring Freedom
Operation Freedom's Sentinel
Operation Enduring Sentinel
Operation Iraqi Freedom
Operation New Dawn
Operation Inherent Resolve

So where is all of this going? In the film, the main character is a flawed and damaged human being. He and his life partner work at menial jobs that they don't particularly care for. They dream doing something with Neil Diamond's work. It takes the two of them (and lots of background voices) to make it happen and work.

At one point, the protagonist says, "I'm trying to be better," or something very similar to that. It was a pivotal moment for me. It's tantamount to something that someone would say in a 12-step meeting. I don't always know if/when I've hurt someone. Sometimes sh*t just comes out of my mouth and the words are there to just fill the space in the air. So now, I hold back. And the people who talk to me about the crap that's going on in their lives are sort of out of sorts because the space in the air isn't filled with my words of 'WHAT THE HECK?' value.

I'm Trying to be Better will be(come) my therapy mantra.