Important Observations.

I was just remembering more about that park that Eric and police didn't want me going to anymore. The Dearborn police started harassing me and following me around to parks for reasons I still don't know. Around the millennia I think. As I've said, I've had a lot of problems in that city in more than one place there and they seem to be related to different things and from different times in my life. But always in Dearborn, or in Detroit where I live as I said. The Dearborn police started following me around and harassing me, and it might have been due to the coffee-pouring incident in 2000 or 2001. I never had problems with the police, but I was told they treat mentally ill people differently and sometimes abuse them. And people seemed to think I looked like a dangerous or troubled mental patient, although the man who worked for me up till 2022 said that wasn't true. I also already had issues then I already knew of. Of physical weakness, low pain tolerance, problems understanding social situations sometimes and social cues, especially in situations that urgent in some way. And then Eric told me to stop going to the park after he took over as trustee in 2011, which made no sense. I was sharing pictures of it online so that's how he found out. That was also a beautiful park. Large with a lot to do. Isolated with very few or no people there usually. That's why I chose it in 1989. Like I said, my parents and I used to go there in 1993 after we ate during the week. After a while the caretaker started showing up with his wife, but I just ignored him. But it became my personal refuge, a form of psychological escape too. At one point I thought it as kind of microcosm of nature like in the book Walden. It was like this restaurant that only existed in my dreams. You know did that a lot in high school, when my life became very miserable. Especially around the junior year, which as I tell people was the worst year in my life. Places, or people in HS actually, that I fantasized I wanted to be. I always thought of it as my only escape then. But then item by item people started taking those things away from me. All the simple things I liked that cost little or nothing and surely harmed no one. Until people said they didn't like it, they didn't approve for some reason, or sometimes didn't even give a reason. It's like people trying to rob me of every peaceful moment, of every small moment of happiness I could find. Which seems unlikely, but my former therapist laughs sarcastically when I say that as if there is something to that.

I know the psychologically abuse, which was obviously planned, definitely led to my two suicide attempts. And all the other times in my life I contemplated it. I don't know what they above led to because I am not an expert. But I know all of that could be avoided forever if they just left me alone. Allowed me to live my life in peace, with whatever amount of money I need to live on. As I pointed out, it was never much. I don't wear expensive jewelry or the latest fashion. I don't go on vacations or to nice restaurants. I am down to buying expired food now in fact. And yet I am living beyond my means they say. Just allow me to live my life in peace, but they aren't going to do that because this continues and will never end. And no one will take responsibility after a lifetime of treating me that way. And now I need that and some compensation for all the damage they did, along with whatever help I will need now to live the rest of my life this way. But that isn't going happen either.