More.

I don't know. I have this wild idea. That since I did nothing, since I am good person, since there is no reason for all of this, people will be helping me. That since this is horrible miscarriage of justice, that since the justice system has been perverted for me in ways it never would be allowed to be for the worst criminal. Documents are forgeries, people can perjure themselves, court proceedings can be fake. That wouldn't be allowed, or at least right, in the most extreme case. Because we should always be able to trust the integrity of our justice system. And my case isn't extreme. What if they applied this logic to an elderly person who was getting a little forgetful? Had them under a secret guardianship where they had no rights of citizenship, they just think they did? But I guess they don't do that to other people. I am the only one with such low status and worth that they would do this to. Hurt permanently like this, take away in cuffs without even bothering to ask, try to take away my car for twenty years when they would show the lowest criminal more respect than that. And the damage is permanent. I don't know how I'll drive without feet or even hands if it comes to that. Even if by some miracle it can be afforded now, who will buy it for me? Where do you get those things? I had people in my life to help me. Now I have absolutely no one. No one who cares in any way. I am totally helpless and alone and I don't even have anyone to just talk to to reassure me. And they still lie to me. Why do they still lie to me? Don't they know? By this point they were supposed to lie and say Eric is your guardian and the matter is being looked into. Then come back, oh maybe a week later, and say the matter has been resolved. They didn't even lie like that yet. Unless they want me to play along. But like I told Eric recently when he said that again in a text, like I have been saying right along, I refuse to play along. And it just seems to me the people who hurt me and permanently damaged me like this have some responsibilities towards me. If not legally at least morally. To make sure I always have a car, a home to be independent, a good quality of life, and all the things I need for a good quality of life. But I am the only person who feels this way. Everyone else disagrees with me on that, ignores me and now are all leaving me to fend for myself. Fend for myself when I am almost 60 and getting way to old for all of this nonsense.

And I have this wild idea, I've had it for a couple of years now. Since my doctors first warned me. That people cared, that people were working hard on my behalf. Behind the scenes of course. The people agree with me that it was a horrible injustice and they were trying to right it. But none of that was happening, the exact opposite was. And now I am totally abandoned for the first time in my life and totally alone, not supported like that. Why do I think people care about me? Or my welfare? Or my wellbeing? Or my safety? Or my happiness? Or my independence or consent either? They don't care about any of that. I mean nothing to them and now they are moving on.

And like I said, I am going to spend the rest of my life reporting all the new forms of abuse I encounter. They are new forms of abuse, and I will gladly prove it to everyone. I would have rather spent the rest of my life relaxing enjoying the simple life that means so much to me. But instead of have to do that. Like this one form of abuse, saying that all the horrible things that happened to me were somehow my fault. Like Eric leaving, like him destroying my washing machine (which I don't mean to criticize him, but like my microwave he knew I really needed now), etc. And so that I will regret it for the rest of my life in whatever horrible situation I find myself in. And wonder what I could have done differently that. That is only another form of abuse, a new one, and I recognize it for that. I'll prove it to others, I will. I would rather just relax and live the rest of my life in peace. Live the rest of my life in peace, while I deal with the permanent damage that was done to me. And I don't even know what that will lead to, or even what is happening now. But I will instead spend the rest of my life doing that.

EDIT: But like I said, I'd still be willing to issue a public apology to Eric online. But in the meantime I have permanent damage to deal with, what the future holds with that. And also new symptoms.

EDIT: I was going to say, I am going to see my doctor October 13th, at which time I will be able to discuss my foot symptoms more. So there's no need to lead me away in cuffs again out of an alleged concern for my health, if that is what that might lead to. Plus all my doctors know by now. And that is really not necessary anyways to restrain someone and lead them away like that without just asking them. And plus it shows a great lack of respect for me I think, along with the low status some people see me with. A low status that has been going on for some time now as I have explained.