More.

Like I said, there are several new developments going on in my life now. I guess all of them could just be coincidence. But in my life that was almost never the case. As I've explained and recently have found, people all doing and saying the same thing at the same time in my life is usually a form of abuse. And my 2011 and recent therapists have confirmed this and that there is always a connection, even when it seems unlikely. Right now of course that is all I know. But they all involve the subject of my car again. First people bringing up the subject of my losing my ability to drive either because I will lose all my limbs some day to neuropathy, or because I become too old. More than once those same things have been mentioned and by more than one doctor. That is troubling because my doctors are all lying to me about my medical status, including my neuropathy. So unless they are trying to tell me something about what the future holds it seems like it might be another deliberate form of abuse, and again made to make me panic. Also people keep bringing up the subject of Eric driving me to places, when I clearly still take myself. Usually because I am more late now. I am more late now because of all the problems they caused me. The neuropathy, the mobility issues I am beginning to have, the fact they are happening as I am becoming an old man, and whatever other undiagnosed problems I have. I told my first doctor, my GP, that if Eric took me to her appointments it wouldn't help and I'd probably be more late, as he waited for me to get ready. It's ridiculous. And then another doctor brought up the same topic, Eric being my chauffeur, out of the blue. I am just describing what happened.

Like I said, I plan on driving for the rest of my life and I refuse to ever go to a place like a group home. And as far any chance in the future I could ever panic again, that's true. They will never have my trust again. I know what they did to me, I know how they kept the damage hidden from me for years, I know what kind of people they are and how they are covering up what they did now. So they will never have it because they don't deserve it. From me or anyone else. But if they want any of my trust back that would take my seeing the necessary legal actions to make sure I always have enough to live on. A car, a home, independence and all my medical consent restored along with all the things necessary for it. Reparations from all who did this to me or took part in any way, and some real accountability too. People being held accountable for their actions facing some real punishment for what they did. For their actions and the system in place that allows all of this and allows it to happen in secrecy. Or at least it to be exposed to the public. How this goes on and whoever else they did this to. And some real legal change too. Here and in other states if this is the system there too. But mainly in this state because it directly affects me. If I saw that, they probably would get back a lot of my trust. Instead of more secrecy, more coercion and no accountability or change whatsoever.