My Experiences.

Like I said, before that fateful day on the playground during recess when I made the mistake of fat-shaming Jamie Kivela and I've paid for it ever since, I thought I'd have a normal life. A wife and family, perhaps I'd even be a veterinarian I told people. Why not? Then I became despondent and even lost the will to live at various points. I was too ugly to beg, and wearing bandages and telling everyone I was a burn victim would never work. Halloween masks couldn't hide it, people on the phone could even tell how ugly I was. It was hopeless with no solution in sight, not even the wildest one. But then by my freshman year in high school I found I could have a lot of fun just being by myself. And doing the things that were important to me, even if no else would understand. I remember one day around spring of that year I had this plan with three things I always wanted to do at that school. Nothing important, I just remember one was to see if a paperclip would open the towel dispenser in the boys' restroom. No reason why I would want to, I just wondered like I said. And then I became unable to be out in public those six years. Again all I ever wanted during that time was to do simple things like that. Things that cost little or were free, and surely harmed no one. The fact people would think they were strange or not normal meant nothing to me anymore. And then I was free, but no so fast people told me. People still didn't like me, many of them threatened me. I was never sure why. Some said they had a reason. My psychiatrist Dr. Bazini said I should be working, not enjoying coffee and donuts. That's what most people your age do. And people like my Uncle Al joined the chorus of how selfish and lazy I was, and how angry it made people like him. And then the police and others started telling me they didn't want me enjoying parks or other things I enjoyed. Buying sports cards came up at the Fairlane Town Center in 1998, by all of the merchants there that one day. It did. Or enjoying Beef Wellington at Richter's Chalet in Dearborn, because the owner said she didn't like my kind in her restaurant. Or just enjoying things like saganaki cheese. Or driving, which made that all possible, but which I tried to explain was for my safety and independence too. But they never listened, and they never stopped saying that. And now all these years later, they took all those years from me. I'll never get them back. They shortened my life and damaged my body. My independence, my very ability to move and even drive in the future, are all in jeopardy. With no end in sight. Because no one did those things, nothing is wrong, I am not damaged, none of those things really happened. My life is still falling down around me and much as I suspect, no one working on my case. They said they aren't, and they are telling truth then when they say that. And now I am a nightmare that will never end, because I will never know when it has. And that doesn't look like that is going to change, only get worse in time too.