Where Everything Stands Now.

Like I said, I became interested in things like human rights around 1988 at the U of M library, if not long before I'm sure. Because those topics were always important to me, topics of social justice and politics. And then around 1996 I became much more interested in prison reform and reforming our justice system, and making it more kind and focusing on human dignity and welfare. Especially when I decided I was a consequentialist that year. Or really deciding I was a consequentialist in 1994 after reading that book by J. J. C. Smart. I was alarmed by the horrible human rights abuses that I heard were going on at the 8th precinct near my home, ironically my precinct too. And I just wanted to say something. But I realized by then that when I tried making impassioned pleas they often came out sounding more like the android Data when he whispered sweet nothings to Lieutenant D'Sora in that 1991 episode. So in 2003 I sent them that quote from the play the Merchant of Venice. I realize now that they probably didn't put much importance on it nor did it make any real difference in anything really. I sometimes only realize later how silly some of the things that I say are. And like I said, I rarely interacted with people. I had only been online for a couple of years by then. 2001 when I tried that, sharing my impassioned view with someone, in this case the Straight Dope message board and that Anatole France quote. And I wasn't in any way prepared for their reaction. They were all outraged, outraged by my political views it seemed basically, though I wasn't sure. And no one there came to my defense. I knew it wasn't fault, I fortunately have enough self-respect I guess that when people are cruel to me like that I know it couldn't be my fault. But I was never sure, and all these years later I still don't know what that was all about. I just know I said something perfectly innocent and everyone there got very angry.

It is interesting if the 8th precinct has any role in any of this. Of the human rights abuses in Detroit, of the human rights abuses involving me in Detroit, of my case like that in particular. They are my precinct, so actually that probably is the case. I just may never know. Never know in the same way like I'll never know when this nightmare is ever truly over, even if someone assured me with a kind and gentle voice that it was. Just Patti Baxter assured me with a kind and gentle voice in 1987 and 8 at Oakwood hospital in Dearborn, just before she hurt me like she did. And now my friend across the street says in addition to no one caring and nothing being done they may be finalizing the plans of putting me away. Putting me away for spending too much, kind of like my Uncle Al was supporting starting 1996. Finding any reason to do that. Because he was fit to be among men but I was a menace to society, he often told me so I'd know. That is all ironic, because like I said that play that everyone said they endorsed. Apparently because they wanted me to be merciful. Merciful either for my case, or maybe just in general I guess. But I still wonder if anyone ever saw it. Because they talk not just of mercy and golden rule, they talk about the flipside of that. Like the duke in the play said when he asked Shylock how shalt thou hope for mercy, rend’ring none? Meaning why would you expect mercy for yourself when you show absolutely none to others. Or like Portia told Shylock, but she knowing the outcome of the trial so her verbal irony partly intended, in the course of justice none of us should see salvation, we do pray for mercy and that same prayer doth teach us all to render the deeds of mercy. Like I said, I even in desperation thought perhaps of a Shakespeare character haunting that precinct to show them the error of their ways, kind of like Banquo's ghost does in that scene from Macbeth. And then the play did come out that very year my life took a very tragic turn for the worse. One that it never did before, one that I never really recovered from and one that almost ended tragically more than once, in 2004. It was just a continuation of the theme of Shakespeare plays in films, like with that other film A Midsummer Night's Dream in 1999. But it still seemed like a very odd coincidence, maybe almost no coincidence at all. Like I said, in my life I am often not sure. Though like I said, a lot the stranger stuff I saw were explained. Especially starting in 2011 with my therapist then.

And now here I am living this nightmare, with it only getting worse not better, with no end in sight and no way to know when there is. All while these people don't care and are the kind of people who could do this to someone.