Where Things Stand.

Like I said I was late again for my doctor's appointment at my GP last Tuesday. And again they tried to blame me for it and got angry. As I told them, I have had this problem all my life. I always knew it was normal and I knew it wasn't my fault. And it's certainly not going to get better with no support system and no one to help me clean, living alone in Detroit with a car that will start breaking down before long, with my neighbors blaming me and disowning me and all the rest that is going on. If I at least knew what was wrong with me. Like I said, I know Cerebral Palsy, autism and possibly other things I'm told. And I have had problems all my life. It's many years later now, but I still need some instructions and assistance dealing with all that. I don't even know what my unique problems are as I said. But my doctors still claim ignorance of all of that. And her office told me that if I am late again they will drop me. As I told them, I have no other doctors to go to, just them. My mother usually carefully chose our doctors. And then they recommended replacements when they retired. I have no other doctors to go to. My life is built around the way that I live it now. With my car, my home, the way things are set up now for me to pay bill and take care of myself. For my independence, my safety, my quality of life and other reasons. It's just like around 2005, and then around 2011 again, the police were trying to tell me I'd somehow manage if they took my car, even though I am a good driver and one the few people in Detroit who even has any business driving to begin with. I told them I couldn't possibly, but they didn't seem to know or care. Now they certainly know the full story, and yet all of this continues. There seems to be something very wrong with me now. But obviously I don't know. I just know my doctors are still lying to me, and they lied to me in the past. Starting by the time when I got neuropathy and Type 2 Diabetes. Long before I even knew, as I explained. I am tired all the time, my urine has a very strong smell to it, my neuropathy seems to have changed in the past couple months and may be getting worse. She said my A1C and blood sugar are much better. (And as I said, while she was saying this she had half-serious tone to her voice. And she was obviously lying about several things, she and I both knew at that point.) I am inclined to believe her, so what is wrong with me then? People online say that there neuropathy gets better once the underlying cause is removed. Or it rarely gets worse at that point. Something is very wrong, and all I know is my doctors are still lying to me. They took my blood and urine at Sinai-Grace hospital last summer. So everyone knows now what is wrong. But eight months later and nothing is being done, and I am supposed to play along. I refuse to play along as I said long ago. Well Wayne County Probate Court now knows better than anyone what is going on now, and they are still withholding that information.

I told you it is very important I recover from whatever they did to me. And live a long life not only to recover all those years they took from me, abusing me and making me live in constant fear. But also to see they face some real justice. All of them involved in any way. From the judges involved to the police, and paramedics I learned in 2013 as I said. Me and whoever else they did this to. Like I said, Eric's family was involved in this. In the abuse and the threats, that almost led to my suicide. And continued long after 2011 even. Who else did they do this to? And did it ever end tragically? Like I said, they have forever lost my trust. Not because I am morally weak like people have been telling me since I was a child, but because they are. I will never trust them again, and there is no way to change that at this point. The only thing they could do, to make amends for all of that. To restore my peace of mind and ensure I never panic again like I did in 1989, 2004 and those seven years that followed. To restore my peace of mind, at least as much as possible now. Is to take full responsibility. To admit their mistakes publicly, to admit what they did and what they did to me, to admit what other people they did this to, and if those cases ended tragically, for all those people who were involved in any way to admit it, and come forward. To make real changes. Changes in observing existing law and policy, changes in policy and changes in law, and a real admission of guilt and some real justice. That is the only way they could undo all the horrible things they have done to me all my life. And yet they still refuse to do that.