Ethnic sexual stereotypes....some fallacies refuse to die

The old saying goes:

"rumors die hard"

And, so do the long-standing, unfounded myths, that every black male is as well-endowed as a horse.

This, I also feel, is also very unfair to black males, for they have to live with this bullshit, and risk greatly disappointing a FWB when he reveals a cock that is but average, and not the spitting cobra, 10" in length, that most white guys expect................

 

It's really been a repeating pattern over successive generations of men - craving something that they either really want or really don't want. Fantasy is much safer than reality and more so when no one can tell or know what's going on inside your head. Even as I was growing into my bisexuality, a lot of guys were happy to just know that they were and to allow their minds to create sexual fantasies - like big, fat, Black cocks - t.hat they could indulge in without incurring any risks - unless someone were to find out what they were fantasizing about and then incorrectly accuse them of doing it since it's still believed that if you think it, you're going to do it. It was better, back then, to keep this to yourself and your fantasies a secret and that hasn't changed much today except, on forums like this, you can tell like-minded guys that you love the idea of a BBC in your mouth or ass and the guys here will understand it - and maybe they have the same fantasy - but also with the understanding that fantasies don't have to turn into reality and most guys do know that not all Black or other non-white men are hung like horses and elephants.

And that the fantasy always comes out better than the real thing might. Watching porn reinforces the fantasy and the stereotype while giving birth to another one that I've been aware of: The guy with the smallest dick is the girl/bottom. Porn reinforces this one most of the time although you can see Black bottoms who are also quite hung and being fucked stupid by guys with even bigger, fatter dicks... and wouldn't it be nice to suck one and to be fucked by such a beast? I would never assume that men don't know the difference because they do know; just a question of which thing makes them feel safer and okay with their bisexuality - having great fantasies or taking a lot of risks to find out what it's really like? It's also a dodge for some guys because you can't accuse a guy of being gay because of a fantasy, well, yeah, you can try but you'll ultimately fail because you can't prove it... unless you can read minds. I know of some guys who specifically say that what will make them have sex with a guy is that he's Black, he's got more than ten inches of dick, and some other stuff that, if nothing else, will ensure that he never has sex with a man because he's not going to meet a guy with those very exacting specifications... and it still makes for a great fantasy and an even better topic of conversation.

And you don't have to deal with a Black man with a huge dick whose doing things to you that you've seen watching porn. The sad part is that some guys really do believe the hype and find out that whatever they fantasized wasn't even close to the reality of things and, welp, they just learned something. The experience was either all that they could have ever dream about, it was okay (and, as such, a bit disappointing), or holy shit - what the fuck was I thinking about? Which, by the way, I would find myself saying when I'd encounter a seriously hung dude and, well, shit - this isn't going to be easy and if we're fucking, it's definitely going to hurt going in but the real question that I'm about to get the answer to is does he use all of this dick for pleasure... or is it a stick that I'm about to get beaten with?
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I've been fucked nicely by BBCs... and not so nicely by them. I grew up sucking on and being fucked by big dicks and I learned that the "bigger is better" bullshit... is bullshit because it's not the size of the cock that matters: It's the guy attached to it that does. That and he can bury that monster in me and as deep and he can get it and he can cum... and I'm not getting pregnant and long, fat dicks are better at conception and, yeah, I'm a nerd so I know shit like this. You want a big dick? Get off your asses and find one and find out if it meets your fantasy or not and, yeah, white guys have big, fat dicks, too.

And some of them don't know how to use it for pleasure, either. I see guys with this fantasy and... I just smile. I try to understand it from an individual POV when I can and I think the stereotype is still bullshit and understand that some people believe in it and they have a right to so I don't fuss a whole lot about it even when, as I've mentioned elsewhere, I've been "targeted" by guys and couples because I'm Black and, well, you know what that means, right? Maybe they got disappointed that it wasn't down to my knees and maybe they appreciated that I knew how to have sex with both of them - and I most certainly enjoyed having sex with them as well as getting to know them as a person and all that good social stuff.

And all the BBC fans are free and welcomed to agree or disagree with anything I've said. This is how we learn things.

 

A+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALWAYS refreshing to read a MATURE and RATIONAL "thesis" such as what you just posted!

If only MORE bisexual/gay men could but grasp the simple "common sense" concept of it all, instead of taking fantasy and enhancing it many times over into a totally unrealistic fantasy that is but only that.....FANTASTY..............

 

Feeling like I'm not viable for life until I can do it without a shirt on. EDIT: There's way more to it than that.

The reality is I need to be an ideal match for my partner; if not, I feel like I'd rather be single. I don't know why, but if I wanted to give a hypothetical example I would point to celebrity.

Imagine what it would be like to be seen with someone who is famous, and then for Hollywood to discover that you have a seriously bad physique! :-(

I don't obsess over much in life, and I have a lot of coping skills about body or dealing with depression. And I don't think about it as a dysmorphia/dysphoria.

The fact is I am not very interested in the life that is being prescribed by my community or my environment and set of facts, demographics, ethnicity, nationality, etc.

So, I have options. I can work at it and have a better ideal for that special person. I'm actually excited about that, and so I feel like it's a win/win.

Ultimately, I envision myself as a provider in a serious relationship and I think of it as a responsibility. I'm not embarrassed, but I know I'll be happier when that special person feels really secure about our appearance; even if it isn't necessary for me to live life shirtless.

 

Fantasy is fantasy but it's your mind that makes it all "real"; a lot of folks who masturbate fantasize about... anything their minds can conjure up that's going to aid in them getting off. Some believe strongly in the fantasy of taking on a big, long, thick Black cock and one wielded by a guy who is pure animal passion and dominant; he knows how to give and receive pleasure and, yeah, can go all night long. Ya might not find that guy in real life and more so when you're suffering from stranger danger and are severely risk adverse... but the fantasy of it is alive and well in their minds and that's about as real as it can get... unless it gets really real and they happen upon the guy they've been fantasizing about. At best, GG57, it's harmless wishful thinking that, yes, perpetuates the myth and stereotype and... it's not a crime. Some unknown person deep in our past got this fantasy going and it's been kept alive over many generations of both men and women. And countless of those who fancied the fantasy got to learn that, sometimes, you should be careful what you ask for because you might get it... and you might not like it.

Or you might; your wildest dreams have come true. I think it's important to have sexual fantasies and it's just as important to know the difference between fantasy and reality... and most people do, and they know that the stereotype is... just that and a part of urban myth that has some truth to it. Even being gay has some stereotypes attached to it, i.e., all are, um burning brightly and trying to be more woman than the real thing - and you and I both know that this isn't the whole truth - and there are guys who fantasize about sleeping with such a gay guy and just with having sex with anyone, it's either going to be all that and a bag of chips, it's okay and they've had better, or it's going to turn into their worst nightmare and one so bad that fantasy won't touch it.

 

"Be careful what you wish for.....it just might come true and you might not like it".

Talk about a PROFOUND statement!

Being a 100% masculine (celibate) gay male, believe me, I've heard FAR too many gay stereotypes, and, indeed, NONE are flattering, all demeaning.

For any straight guy who thinks that ALL gays fit the "limp-wristed, flaming fag" stereotype, I'd love to see their reaction if they were watching a gay porn vid, where several big, burly, super-masculine, hairy bear-types, cops, construction guys, etc., were all getting it on hot and heavy, the sweat and testesterone bouncing off the walls!

Yes, fantasies ARE important (believe me, I'm an expert in this field!)

I've read of gay/bi guys who refuse to blow a guy unless he, too, blows him in return.

"Well, WHO'S calling WHO a COCKSUCKER, buddy?"

The problem with ANY type of fantasy is that it can go many ways.

It COULD go exactly as you had thought it would go, pure, unadulterated sexual bliss.

OR, it could end up with: "It was OK, but it's not exactly what I though it would be like."

OR, it could play out thus: "What the hell was I thinking?"

Once again, the MATURE way of thinking would be: "FANTASY is just that, FANTASY........IS this "fantasy" WORTH trying to turn into REALITY.......OR, should I keep it STRICTLY as a 'fantasy'?"

Again, it all is dependent on a given individual; no "cut-and-dry" rules to be followed, under such circumstances.............