What stops you from trying sex with another man?

My problem is finding someone to trust. Sites you never know. I am still very much attracted to women to attracted to dick also.
If someone would drive up ask me to come look and a nice cock was exposed I would suck him dry. I have no doubt I would enjoy.

 

I am like you very bi curious, I like looking at both pussy and dick but finding the right person and situation is difficult. I would love to try a MMF

 

I see that quite a few of us feel the same and are in the same unfortunate situation!!

 

Finding a suitable guy has always been a problem and mostly because unless a guy tells you, there's no real way to know if he's down with the D or not and I learned that you can't take "homophobic ranting" as an indication that he ain't down with it - a lot of guys hide their secret behind such ranting and raving so that no one would suspect a thing. All you can do is keep checking your "app sources" and don't be surprised if you're out and about and a guy, um, wants to get really friendly with you.

 

If I was "out and about" and a guy tried to get friendly with me it would make it a lot easier. Then we could possible progress to having coffee together and discussing "things" to see if we click and are in the same frame of mind!!

 

Yeah, it would make things easier! Let's get some coffee (even if ya don't drink it) and let's talk! I sometimes get hit on when I have to go to the market or I'm at the gas pump; I even had a guy ask me out while I was waiting for my turn to get my radiation treatment! He thought I was waiting for someone like he was but, nah, I'm the one getting zapped. A shame, too, because he had a nice-looking bulge in his pants...

 

My gosh, @KDaddy23, I just don't understand the world you and some other guys seem to live in. I've been sucking cock and a little anal since I was 32, and I'm now 62 and I have yet to have any kind of sexual run-in with a guy in real life, as opposed to in the gay sex venues like bathhouses or through gay hookup sites and apps. I don't get it. Is it because I've been single all my life, and it's more of a bisexual married man's experience? Women and men have said that I'm good looking, so I don't think it's that. Maybe I've lived in mostly conservative places, but I also lived for a year in San Francisco, and it still never happened. Am I just giving off some kind of internalized homophobia 100% straight vibe or something when out and about in the "real world"? I would love to meet regular guys in every day life and just go for a coffee and end up naked together.

 

Well, I got started early and I'm celebrating 60 years of being bisexual this year. It's a man's experience if and when he gets - and takes - the chance to dive on in. I got tossed in to sink or swim and I got to swimming my ass off and realized that the water was more than fine. Grew up with a bunch of guys who had no qualms about sucking dick or getting into some fucking or doing it with a lot of fellows or, yeah, doing your girlfriend and her sister at the same time. In the 1970s, I couldn't go to San Francisco without getting hit on and it seemed like no matter where I went in California, there were opportunities to have sex... that I didn't say no to. You're one up on me and in the sense that I have never have sex in a bathhouse because there have never been bathhouses where I live and I didn't know about them when I was in California or, really, any other state I've ever been in. When the apps came along, they were a target-rich environment for me because there weren't that many fakes and flakes ruining them - just a lot of gay dudes and bi guys looking for that first experience to choose from... and I rarely said no.

I really don't believe in internalized homophobia but recognize that it could really be a thing but, again, since I got onboard when I was young, it didn't get my mind all that poisoned with the notions of homophobia and the other shit that guys, as adults, wind up having to be able to get rid of before they can even touch another guy's cock - the stigma is real but never really affects me because I don't buy into it - and I know that the source of the stigma is... bullshit. Sucking dick with a guy is fun. So is being fucked by a guy and burying your dick in a guy's ass and busting a big nut. Doesn't matter if you're single or married; if you want to, you will keep trying to find ways to do it with a guy.

I have found that when you're looking for a particular kind of guy and for very specific reasons, you literally eliminate all the other men you could possibly have sex with. I never did that and I only have three requirements: Be of legal age to have sex, be healthy enough to have sex, and don't be my idea of an asshole. The truth is a lot of guys never clear that third thing but for the guys who do? I'm having sex with them if they're not afraid to. I don't give two shits how big your dick is or isn't; does it work the way it's supposed to? Can I suck it? Do you suck dick? You don't even have to swallow if you don't want to.

My protege - who lives in SF - asked me how I managed to get so much dick and I said, "Because I make it easy for guys to give it to me and I rarely say no."

 

Seems like the theme here is fear for people who never explored that part of themselves

 

Lots of fear and I'm sure the fear has always been there. For a new guy, this is the unknown; the really forbidden fruit that, as I Iike to say, there aren't that many men who doesn't know that men really do have sex with each other. However, knowing about it is one thing; seeing it in porn is another thing; it's a whole different and very scary thing when you're the one naked with a guy and you two are about to engage in having sex with each other. There are enough stereotypes, misconceptions, and horror stories associated with this to make the horniest teen keep trying his luck with the ladies and if you find that you're already gay - and the thing guys who aren't gay are afraid of becoming - then you're already behind the eight ball because the whole fucking world doesn't like the type of man you've chosen to be.

The fear of the unknown. The fear of discovery. The fear of STIs, STDs, HIV I and II. For some guys, the fear that they're going to like having sex with a guy and will be unable to stop and I've heard a few guys speak to a fear of being unable to perform with a woman after having sex with a man. I've seen first-hand how some, if not all, of these fears have paralyzed a guy in that moment of truth when there's a guy before you and his dick is in your face and waiting for you to take it into your mouth... and they cannot bring themselves to do it even though every fiber of their being is telling them to do it... but the instilled fears, the religious taboo and social stigma are all too strong in their minds.

What if they get caught? What will their wife, family, and friends say if they found out that these folks found out that they like being on their back with their legs wrapped around a guy's waist and as the guy is fucking them? Or that they've been "running around" sucking cock and swallowing cum? And... what if they do this and find that they're really gay? These fears existed when I became bisexual in 1964, and they continue to exist and be felt by men here in 2025...

 

All very feelable fears. The fear of STDs is something to consider particularly with male homosexual activity. Statistically the rates of many STDs are highest among MSM. Fortunately it's not an epidemic but as with any sexual encounter but especially with an encounter involving only guys it's something to keep in mind.
The other fear I thought of that seems to apply especially to some male homosexual activity, and please correct me if I'm wrong, is PnP culture. I'm sure there's some of this across the board but this seems most prevalent with gay guys. To be clear we're talking hard drugs not just alcohol or weed, something I want no part of whatsoever, period. Not only is there a fear of using and getting addicted, but there's also the fear of acting irrationally while you're under the influence, making rash decisions and acting paranoid, or at least dealing with others that act that way. I don't wanna get my throat cut while I'm getting fucked because my lover thinks I stole his ham sandwich.

 

I make it very clear upfront that drugs and alcohol are deal breakers. I have no problem turning people down for any reason, being a drugged out/drunk creep is at the top of the list. I've talked to guys who responded to my ad who were obviously on something. It is on my ad: NO DRINK NO DRUGS. Someone who can't follow a simple request isn't someone to hook up with. Hooking up is risky as it is, no need to mix other high risk behaviors in with it.

 

Finding the right guy has always been a problem; there was a time when a major requirement was for a guy to be "D&D free" because HIV was running unfettered across the country and a lot of people were demanding lab results on paper before agreeing to have sex using condoms but, yeah, before one could get to this stage, ya had to find someone you'd want to go to bed with. Back in the day, um, yeah, a lot of us smoked weed, drank and that lubed the way for dicks to get sucked, cum swallowed and even being deposited in backsides. It was just the guys who took getting high to the extremes that you really wanted to stay away from, and one's fears would certainly get in the way of pursuing a suitable guy to have sex with.

You take all of the fears into consideration, mix in some stranger danger and a dash of not being a fan of casual sex, these things stop a lot of guys from having sex with another man. If only in my own opinion, it's not the things that can stop you from doing it with a guy but how you can identify the things in your way and then find a way to make them not be a problem or anything that's going to stop you from doing what you want to do with a man.

 

Very well put Papasmurph

 

I agree with all that 100%

 

Other than opportunity, absolutely nothing

 

One of the best thing that happened in my life is , my wife brought out the bi/gay in me, i never realized …..now fully bi/gay …I can’t live without mm sex …..

Now that I’m in this lifestyle….men are easier access to some hot mm sex vs trying to pick up a women …and they come with various issues ..
I started my bi/gay in my mid 20s …now in my 30… had some incredible cocks …which is not enough