When did you loose your hangups and discover other sexual options?

Overcoming my same-sex hangups and being open to more sexual options has gone in stages for me.

When my first girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me at 30, my heart was broken and I went on the road with my car for 5 months around Canada and United States in search of myself. What I found was my bisexual self, with gay desires spontaneously arising one day 4 months in. A week later, when I was at a gay strip show in San Francisco with a magnificent cock 2 inches from my face, I knew that a New World has just opened up for me. A few months later I was sucking my first cock through a gloryhole at an arcade, and it was the most awesome thing ever.

That started 21 years of anonymous cocksucking (over 200 guys--maybe well over 200). But even though I fantasized about it a lot, I never had any anal feelings with any guy in real life. And then I did, in a bathhouse in Berlin, when I fell in utter lust with this young man's ass, tonguefucked his hole with a hunger beyond description for more than an hour, before finally inserting my cock deep inside another man's ass. That was the most extraordinary sexual moment of my life. It opened up the gay side of my bisexuality like never before. I stopped all anonymous encounters and just got together via gay hook up sites and apps with guys in each other's homes for oral and anal play.

But even though I fantasized about it, I never had any romantic feelings for a guy. And I never had an attraction for any guy on the street--any guy with his clothes on. Really, it was just a guy's cock and ass that I was attracted to, not even the rest of his naked body, let alone his person.

And then I met a guy, an acquaintance who became a platonic friend last spring, that I fell for: I started having romantic feelings for him. We had a chemistry like I've never experienced with a guy, and I felt it was mutual. But after dropping hints it looked like and still does that he's straight. That was last spring. So finally it happened for me, I felt for another guy just like I have felt for women. I never told him about my feelings, but it was a very significant event for me.

When it finally dawned on me that he is straight, my disappointment led me to make my first visit in 9 years to a bathhouse again: I need an instant sex. I hooked up with this guy who was very hairy, with a beard and lots of body hair. Now, you have to understand, up until then facial and body hair always was a big turn off for me with guys. I avoided them in all the gay sex venues I had visited those first 21 years, and I avoided them in my home hookups. I liked guys clean shaven, with lesser body hair, and definitely a trimmed or shaved cock and ass. I guess you can almost say like a woman's skin. But for some reason I desired this guy's body in its entirety, hair and all. I couldn't get enough of his whole body! That seemed to be the final step for me. From that moment onwards I just love everything about a guy, physically and emotionally/romantically.

When I broke up with my second girlfriend after a very rocky 3 years just before the pandemic hit, I was determined to just see guys to much more fully explore my gay side. The pandemic certainly curtailed that a lot. But these two events this past spring really firmed that up to a point now where I have no interest in sex or love with women anymore, and only seek that with men. I've been hanging out a lot with a gay men's social group the last couple of months, and feel so at home in their company. I'm attracted to some of them sexually, and most of them in many other ways. And I'm romantically attracted to one of the guys.

I think I'm finally over my same-sex hangups in their entirety and open to everything possible with another man. I'm so excited for what the future will bring.