Pushed into a Bi Life?

When my first wife had to get a hysterectomy due to a horrible case of endometriosis, one of the things her doctor told her was that this could trigger menopause in her early and, no, she wasn't a candidate for hormone replacement therapy due to her being diabetic. The poor woman cried her heart out on the way home from the doctor's office and said that if they took out her plumbing, it would make her less of a woman. Of course, I told her that it didn't and that this was, as the doc told her, the only way to end the endometriosis. The surgery was successful; her recovery could have gone better but everything was okay... and I don't think she ever really recovered from that "less than a woman" thing. Her self-esteem took a hard hit, she quickly lost interest in sex with me and ultimately became a lesbian, which I was okay with but, man, it sucks when you know your woman is really hurting inside and no one - me or any professional she went to - could even try to restore her self-esteem.

Two things for me. One, I was already bisexual and thanks to our open marriage arrangement, I wasn't lacking in being able to get cock. The other was our poly wife who loved to have sex so she "picked up the slack" from my wife and even after she underwent her own hysterectomy for endometriosis.

She had said that she was still a woman, her pussy still worked, and it was still my job to keep fucking her when she needed fucking.

 

Wasn't pushed into it, as much as led into that direction by my wife.

 

Not pushed into it, but definitely very curious about it.

 

In my case coaxed would be the word I would use but much the same I suppose. Gently coaxed and then there was no looking back.

 

Well, I wasn't "pushed into it" since I discovered that I was bisexual when I was thirty years old and seduced by a gay friend. He had been trying to seduce me from the day we met and first started to go out drinking with each other. I worked for him at a bank, he was married at the time and ten years older than I. We had a relationship that lasted about six years until he passed away suddenly

Inevitably, as my wife got older, her once insatiable sex drive gradually disappeared. I started to travel extensively for business at the same time. It started to rekindle my interest in men. Being away from home and staying in a hotel facilitated meetings with men, and I had a few relationships that were pretty intense physically and emotionally.

The last relationship which lasted several months combined some of the hottest sex I have had in my life coupled with deep feelings for each other. At some point, I decided to stop trying to initiate sex with my wife to determine if I could be happy with just gay sex.

The answer is a resounding YES. I could partner with another man, openly or discretely, and be physically and mentally satisfied.

My wife can be very jealous of any female platonic friends that I have. I have a couple, they are 50 ish, and unfortunately married. The potential for a male encounter just seems to piss her off these days. I have had a few solo pleasure trips that have provided that opportunity.

So, we are now both retired, and I have basically no opportunities to connect with another male through frequent traveling. I am doomed to a boring heterosexual life now.

So, if the opportunity presents itself for you to connect with another man sexually and emotionally, I say go for it, and don't harbor any gilt feelings.

 

Since my first many years of sexual activity was with M & only F was in porn (very much liked seeing M & F), later got into sexual activity with F. Can't say initially pushed. But xw got to zero sex, and I went back to M for sexual gratification. Now, desire F but know they have far less & limited interests...going forward M. So...readers...your opinion, was I pushed?

 

I would say that you weren't pushed; you can't be pushed into something that you're already in. Desires are just as fluid as sexuality is and now it boils down to whether or not you can have the sex you need with someone and regardless to whether they're male or female. Some women push their man into sex with other men. Here, honey, suck my lover's dick after he dumps a load of cum in me - then come eat his cum out of my pussy! A lot of guys I know would balk at this but with the "threat" that he who hesitates doesn't get the pussy anymore, well, what's a guy to do?

They weren't bisexual before but thanks to her? They are now and, yes, pushed deeply into it. Shit, some guys want to be pushed into becoming bisexual and getting very familiar with a hard dick.

 

Thanks for the feedback...I agree.

 

Look, even when a partner is stingy with the sex or just not giving it up, moving to the bi side of things is a conscious decision even though one can feel as if they have no other choice in the matter. No one can be pushed if they do not want to be pushed.

 

I certainly understand. Even when with xw and having MF sex, I thought of, fantasized about, desired MM sex. Everything is a choice. Circumstances can play a part, but bottom line weceach control our yes or no.

 

A Womans acceptance and encouragment sure made it a lot easier to evn consider it. If my wife didn't lead me into it, I would be a sneaky cheater and I wouldn't like that.

 

Sure, that acceptance and encouragement can go a long way for a lot of guys, but I would presume that if a guy felt like he was being pushed into a bi life, he's thinking and feeling that having any kind of sex with a man is 100% against everything he believes in. I've been with guys who have kinda/sorta said that they had no other choice but to seek out sex with someone like me - and wives have, all too often and sadly so - at the root of them feeling like they were pushed in a sexual direction that they didn't want to go in but here they are, listening to me explaining this to them and, often, suggesting that they don't do this. But for those who still want to? All kinds of thoughts and feelings, some fucking amazing, others not so much and guys pointing the finger at someone for pushing them in this direction and "making" them violate their beliefs, so on and so forth and... do you have time for us to do this again?

Wanting to be "pushed," I think, is different from actually being pushed into it and, again, usually by a wife who has her own ideas about having sex and, important to her, she doesn't have to have sex with you if she doesn't want to and... what's a guy to do? Seek out another woman? Or damn it, is sex with a guy really as good as I've heard it can be or, yeah, maybe how it looks in porn? I have believed - and I could be wrong - that guys who have been pushed into bisexuality feel that in their situation, they didn't have much of a choice than to go in the direction they'd been pushed because it's either this or (a) cheat on her with another woman or (b) divorce her and get with other women who will, eventually, push him away (is that all you think about?) and this cycle will repeat or (c) go without sex.

Guys who feel that they've been pushed into this make the decision to... go in the direction they've been pushed into. For better or worse.

 

My wife didn't push me. More like guided me. She went from using a finger in my ass to using a dildo. Telling me that the real thing feels better and that I should try it. Idid and I'm grateful to her. She doesn't mind that I have sex with a man but I better not have sex with any woman besides her if I want to keep my dick attached to my body.

 

I had a choice to make. Like your situation, women were forbidden but my "fag hag" wife fantasized about seeing me with a man since I told her that I wouldn't have an issue if she wanted to be with another woman. Her only condition was that I didn't do it behind her back. First was doing it with our long time friend and she watched. My biggest apprehension was that she would use it against me. Instead it turned into an Enhancement to our sex lives. Being able to do it without sneaking around made it simple and fun. It just doesn't happen as often as my friend and I would like, because they go south for the winter and only back for a Holiday trip back with family, where we briefly got together for mutal bjs.

 

Sometimes I wonder if this is where I'm heading.

 

It’s complicated!