1000 Facebook "Friends" Ignore Woman's Suicide

It's all good, it's an odd topic to come across.

 

It's not a matter of everything being a debate 'because it's online'. If someone told me that to my face I probably would have a fair amount of doubt in my mind.

 

This has happened way too many times in my area for me to not take it seriously.

I think the best course of action is to call a hotline and find out what the appropriate method of reporting the situation in your area would be. If they get help and just want attention, they'll have second thoughts about getting into an embarrassing situation like this again. I'm talking about skipping the comforting, and getting right to the phone.

People need to learn NOT to joke about suicide, and not to threaten it for attention. Reserve the threats for real thoughts of suicide- or face the embarrassment of professional involvement.

 

I dont quite see where your going with the whole "nobody forced her to do it" nobody forced her but what if one person may have noticed she was feeling shitty and it just took a smile and a hand on the back for her to realise ya know what Im not alone...

A lot of people who suffer from depression and suicidal issues have isolation problems they want so bad to fit and belong but they never find their nitch or someone who really cares... I think that as a society we've become incredibly selfish greedy and insensitive not just towards each other but towards animals and the earth itself.... This is a big ass world as an individual I KNOW Im not the only thing that matters... but some people feel as if they dont matter at all....

 

That's not what I was getting at. Of course it would be nice if someone noticed and offered a helping hand. That's just the decent human being thing to do.

I was speaking more after the fact. Once the act is over, it's like because the person is gone, all the blame gets shifted onto those who are still here, and I feel that that isn't right. Regardless of whether others could have helped, she still killed herself.

Our society is so into blame. It's like every time something goes wrong, in order for things to go back to normal someone has to be blamed for the event. Only then can any semblance of normalcy can return. In the case of suicide, because the main person of subject is dead and gone, the ones around them are blamed because they're the next best thing. I don't think that's right. It's laying a guilt trip on people who are not necessarily to blame.

If someone dies drinking and driving, do we blame the car manufacturer?

 

Now I understand what your saying.. unfortunately we are reactive and not proactive and even when bad crap happens we dont shift gears for preventative measures!

 

Not to sound like an arrogant dipshit, but I posted this near the beginning of the thread. It's along the same lines as what you're talking about.

 

Certainly for me, that is one of the major causes of my depression. Ive never felt like I belong or fit in anywhere, and I feel incredibly isolated due to that fact. And Ive certainly never felt like Ive mattered. Or that Id be any real loss to the world if I was to just disappear. I do feel that the world, at least in general and as a whole, is selfish, greedy and insensitive. Animals are the only creatures in the world that I feel an affinity with, because there is no badness in them. And I hate the way many humans treat them.

Knowing that someone cares, even if it is only online, is a small comfort though, and it definitely helps to know that not all people are selfish, and insensitive.

 

Its sad when someone just gives up and ends it all, but you cant blame people for not taking threats serious, especially if it's a repeat occurrence.

I know if im just scanning through my friends status updates and see what she wrote im not thinking suicide, im thinking she took a sleeping people and is saying goodbye world just for the night.

Cant blame everyone else for your mistakes.

Find power in yourself!

 

Idk bout youallz. but have you ever called a suicide hotline?,... let me tell you.. They may as well come over your home, put gun to head for you.. When I was disarmed from military service they give you all these reintegration things. numbers for services in you area..
At one time I called this # Since I was dealing with some crazy combat stress related issues, returning to family that was not there..
At one point I was talking to this person a women, Im really not suicidal at the moment - but the #call line states "that if you or a loved one are a military veteran and ar in a crisis press#?./".. Well Im talking and all lost 4 men in my unit, lost my bother to some kinda conspiracy to cover up some court issues, my girlfriend and newborn were gone, I survived ad IED attack in the Fall of Fallujah, as they said during Vietnam the last 2 month are the worst, I was discharged in dec 04, if you know your Iraq history Fallujah was one hell of a battle.. So anyways Im talking to this lady when I said "hun" Or I said "honey" i cant really remember it wasnt a freudian slip. I was talking in a normal tone and the next thing you know this fucking lady after all I had said to her said this"DONT CALL ME HUN" .. All I know from that point was I was ready to drive to the call center and put a bullet in her head. The audacity of claiming to be a crisis center and then saying something that was really irrelevant, and interrupting while I continued to talk -missing whatever it was that offended this dumb **** of an operator. Being the jagoff I am, I said "let me speak to your fucking suprvisor right now!!!"... There I went into another rant, and told them to make sure they use the recording as a training exercise cause the next time I call and this **** says something stupid "all HELL is going to break loose"..

enough about me... lol.. My point is. It really dont matter if there are crisis centers, if the Assholes operating them dont know what the fuck they are doing!..

 

I wasn't there so I can't be sure, but perhaps the reason she responded the way she did is because it was a defence mechanism to not get attached to you. Could you imagine being in her line of work, getting attached to the people who phone in and then they off themselves anyways. That would put an unspeakable amount of stress on anybody. That came to mind when I read that anyways.

Sorry she responded so ignorantly though.

 

I realize what your saying, her approach to redirect me was ignorant ... wasnt like I called her honey or hun 20times, I only said it once.. and never meet a nurse that wasnt calling me "Hun" "are you comfortable hun" that kinda thing, I didnt tell them not to call me hon, Im the patient damnit.

 

me neither, unfortunately its one of those "boy who cried wolf" things. so many ppl get depressed and say things like that that they dont mean. and as someone who has actually attempted, i can say that ive never given any warning, and only my closest of friends know about it now because i told them after i failed. too many ppl that just want attention take away from ppl that really need help, like all the emo kids cutting themselves for fashion when some ppl genuinely need help

 

I with orison on this one 100%

If you work in a field (either paid or as a volunteer) that deals with people who are in emotional distress, adding to that stress by being overly sensitive to the things they say is more then a little fucked up...

This is a common thing among health care workers of all types (that I have ever dealt with)... when it comes to emotional issues, they have little to no training nor do they have any concept that expecting a person in emotional turmoil to be 'reasonable and calm' isn't right.

 

Logically then the only way to remedy that that I can see would be to take each 'threat' seriously. Better to overreact than to look back.

 

you know Tom Ive had experience in the mental hospital some time ago... and the time I made this call I was also working in a hospital setting.. When I mentioned it, they too was a little concerned not just for me. Though I sometimes think my job there was a sympathy job..
Anyway what one the therapist there said the call center should always agree with you and never never do anything that may upset you.
IF they(callers) are calling you names and vulgarity, you cant hang up on them. jesus fucking christ they are suicidal. you cant piss them off anymore than they are, or upset them.. Try and agree with them as much as possible to calm them down, Say things like "you understand, im very sorry for your troubles, this makes me feel very sad for you" If you can be on the level the suicide caller, feel there pain its easier to calm them down.. guide the caller to something else, and if that pisses them off go with it. saying things like "do you watch tv caller and the caller gets all upset about the stuff on tv., you can say "yeah I know tv is terrible, do you like DVD's then?'' Caller might say "yeah I have a million dvd's" then you can say, "Oh what is your favorite movie?" again guiding them away from the anger,depression.. ect. ..

 

It does seem sort of obvious doesn't it... lol

The humor of it fades when you realize how many never see it...

 

Although ideally, thats what everyone should do, its understandable why many people dont. Im not talking about the morons who encourage people to kill themselves "for a laugh", or really dont care. But, its easy to see why some would find it tiresome to hear the same person continuously saying they're going to do something like that, and never doing it. Sure, some of these people will go on to do it, but Id say the biggest majority dont.

But, I suppose you can only really know how serious it is if you know a person very well and are close to them. Genuine chronic depression is very different from "being depressed" or having a bad day, or just being annoyed and frustrated about something. Which happens to just about everyone in life. The problem is, if you're posting things like suicidal thoughts on a public messageboard or "social networking site", very few, if any people will be able to tell the seriousness of someone's threats or depression, as they do not really know the person well enough to know such things about them.

 

I do know here now.. When calling a suicide help center they can send a personal unit to see you.. Its usually 3 people, depending on the crisis,.. They can not come to your home if you have a weapon. you can of course say you do not.
I learned a bit more about the suicide prevention unit by having my own crisis and bring it up to the people I worked with..
I didnt think it was funny at all, maybe over thinking it... But they had asked me why I didnt ask them for help at work?..
You know I was just trying to maintain my privacy. I also realized doctors, psychologist, therapist, suicide prevention people also need a shoulder to cry on/. and it really dont matter that you have your own skills to deal with your own crisis. Sometimes you just cant..

The same would be suicide jumper, person talking them down the jumper jumps anyways. The Crisis intervention person now needs counseling because the scene is playing out what did they do wrong, how come I couldnt help that person- tunneling themselves into their own depression. .

 

I read a similar type of thing in an essay of Jung's I read. He talked about his time spent with schizophrenics and how when dealing with them, if they're really upset or in a state of belligerence, one shouldn't correct their delusions.

Like if some guy is freaking out, saying that he's Jesus Christ and that he's going to end the world or something to that effect, saying, "You're not Jesus Christ, you're ______, now calm down," likely isn't going to help. Probably just piss the person off more. It's better to let them talk and just go with the delusions until they calm down.