17 and never had a girlfriend...

You my friend, are an asshole.

I want more than just sex. In fact, I don't want to lose my virginity any time soon. And on another note, who the fuck are you to say I do not know anything about love. Oh, and I shouldn't be looking for love you say? I want more than just a stupid infatuation, which is what most people call love. I want a connection between souls. That, my friend, I have had before, but I moved before I could develop a relationship. You are the one I think doesn't know what love is.

And if your idea of morals doesn't include not having sex with someone you don't love, then my friend, you are twisted. How am I supposed to have sex with someone with whom I do not feel a spiritual connection to? That isn't sex, that is fucking.

 

You seem quite arrogant, sorry.

 

Strange - I think he summarized the situation quite nicely. Fucking is great!! Making love is so much more.

 

You don't find love, love finds you.

With that I say you should concentrate more on yourself and less on others.

Btw, I sense a hostile negativity on this thread and do not wish for this negative cycle to continue. Love is going to be important in your life but you should probably start by loving yourself, peace, fun, mostly things that you probably aren't going to fuck up with.

Age is a number and yes, I can do that many push-ups that fast, I am currently in an ROTC program and there are about 4 or 5 more cadets in there that can do that many push-ups that fast like me. Double-stacks are real for all I know and if they were just singles, then fuck it, who cares, 3 tabs can still fuck you up.

 

Whatever. A relationship devoid of love is not an relationship, it is an acquaintance. Even friendship requires love. A different kind of love but love none the less.

 

Not really, you have to put effort into looking for someone to build a relationship and hoping long lasting bonds come out of it

 

True, but if the poster you quoted was making the point I think they where, they just meant that you can't go into every relationship looking for love, you just have to work on a good relationship. Then in the end, either the love happens or it doesn't, but you've got to accept that a relationship doesn't start that way, and may not end that way, you've just got to nurture it and see where it goes.

OP, you said you'd been in love before, but it ended before it could become a relationship... that is the HEIGHT of infatuation, no love to it...

You will never find a worthwhile girl, if love is a prerequisite for a relationship. No one wants to go on a date, and then commit to "being in love" with you, they want to go have a good time, be friendly, socalize, have sex, laugh, cry, and do whatever else you have to offer, and then maybe fall in love. If you "fall in love" how you're talking about, you will lead a very unpleasant life (once again).

You spoke of love existing in friendships. Well brotherly love is real, for sure, but in most friendships, no. You can be very good friends, without a speck of "love"... You don't seem to have much concept of this thing that you want so badly.... I mean, if just being friends IS love, then why are you worried about just finding a friend? What's the debate? You're using the wrong word, but if that's what you want...

 

Yea you normally can't go into a relationship loving someone. It doesn't mean you have to go in blind, you try dating someone you already know to an extent and really like as a person and see where it leads.

Though for an anecdotal story my last ex I got to go into a relationship when already in love. She had been one of my best friends for years and I just fell in love with her, then one night just blurted out "I think I'm in love with you" to which I got a response of "Oh, huh, that's kind of nice cause I think I'm in love with you but never wanted to say anything"
(Note: this is a rarity and normally if you tell one of your friends you're in love with them you'll get the "that's sweet but we should just be friends" response)

 

See that OP? In love. Now his ex.

*edit* OP, can you please tell me how being "in love" justifies having a fuck buddy, if fuck buddies are unacceptable and immoral? you're still fucking, and still buddies.

 

Bingo

 

I think your first step now is to think of a type of person you think you could date, I don't know, if you're into botanology or whatever people call it you could try finding someone who is interested in that too, then think of a place where those type of people might hang-out at. That's just a suggestion.

 

there's no rule-set. no methodology.
No proven science or art for alluring lovers.
It just happens to some people.
It's not a 'given', and people don't 'earn' it either.
It's just luck.

But there are things you can do to maximize your chances. Going out, being a musician, doing an arts degree, going to a rave -(like swade7 said i think).

I'm in the same boat and it's agonizing. I probably do lack a bit of courage, it's just that I don't feel like going to bars and standing there alone for hours.

It's something I'm probably going to have to try though because there isn't much else.

 

start drinking.
you'll fuck an unattractive girl soon enough and then you will realize it aint no thang.

 

yeah fuck a fat chick bros

 

Makes sense.
The English language is quite inefficient when it comes to describing the different types of love. I think a lot of people misunderstood me when I said that it requires love just to be friends.
I don't expect romantic love right off the bat, but I do require mutual respect, understanding, and a connection. Those are the building blocks for all kinds of love. Lacking any one of those essential components and love suddenly turns into infatuation, which is the cause of every single broken relationship, weather between friends, family members, or lovers.

 

Aye, for sure, I just assumed you meant romantic, automatically life long, fairy tale style love. That's the connotation most people get with the lone word "love" in english. How you're using the word love is more just "friendship", or something along those lines, which can progress anywhere from just an acquaintance to a lifelong mate.

Just find a friend man. If they're a worthwhile person, you can gradually get to know them better, in english the "friend zone" usually means you're friends, but she will never think of you sexually and it will never go anywhere, with the implication that you want it to go farther. But if she's the one for you, and she sees eye to eye with you, (especially given your type) it shouldn't be a problem, and you can progress through it.

Home school can suck with meeting people, I was homeschooled until I was 14, then went to public high school. I'm still very bad at meeting people, and something of a loner. Also, I've spent so much time along with my computers, drugs, art, or whatever else I feel like doing, that once I find people, I can't deal with being around them all the time, and they tend to think it's me disliking them, when really I just can't be around people all day, every day, I need "me time".

 

I understand. I was thinking of going to High School for my last two years, but decided against it when I saw that the building of the only high school in the town looks like an abandoned asylum, and has security camera's in every classroom... Creepy.

 

Yeah, we have that going on here in the states too....

One nation, under CCTV....

No, that's britan, according to banksy.... but we're doing our best.

 

TC,

A lot of us have been where you are except for a few details that don't matter much.

Your instinct is correct: Those girls you meet are not going out with you mostly because you are not a part of their lives; a pleasant stranger, yes, but that's not good enough, as you already know.

If you get a job, join a club, community service organization, attend church or temple, become a regular at some sport or community activity, you will meet girls and seem them often enough to become friends with several of them.

If you make enough friends, one or more of them probably will go out with you if you give it enough time.

Even at 17, it will be obvious to both of you whether your personalities click, whether you have "chemistry". You have said yourself there's more to relationships than this, but you've got to start somewhere. It won't take 3 years to know if there's chemistry, but it doesn't always happen in five minutes either.

Don't beat yourself up emotionally because a girl or a whole room full of girls who don't have much in common with you do not want to go out with you.

Girls are no different from guys in one important way: they are looking for someone who takes a kindly interest in them. Kindness and friendship are stronger than looks or clever jokes.
By the way, strangers can't get far showing "kindly interest". We are talking about girls you know from work or some club or activity you are both regulars at.

If you meet a girl who is not your type, but is pleasant company for cup of coffee or a walk in the park, that kind of friendship can be a blessing in your life. I have had girls like that introduce me to someone I did click with. (Hope the first girl does not get a crush on you, but if you are honest yet tactful all along, there are fewer broken hearts that way).

Don't set yourself up for others to meet all your love needs. You will get love from your friends, but not all the time; sometimes they will let you down. Don't hate them for being imperfect.

What you are trying to find in others must come from your own mind and heart.
If you are a man of faith, turn to God for inner strength. People with inner peace radiate that peace and kindred spirits are drawn to those who have it.

There's more to this subject, but that's enough from me.

 

well I've never had a g/f and i'm 40! so there's plenty of time