2 line poem challenge

the salmon sang a most beautiful song
that could still be heard above the throng

of yuletide fare laid out on the table

 

of yuletide fare laid out on the table
It all seemed too wonderful, something out of a fable

The carpet of snow holds patches of yellow

 

The salmon sang a most beautiful song
inbetween tokes from a sea-horse shaped bong

The walrus objected, and so then proceded

 

The walrus objected, and so then proceded
to sing "koo koo ka choo", "It's quite catchy!", he conceded

The reindeer faught and poked each others eyes

 

The reindeer fought and poked each others eyes
one of them was dead and covered in flies

their stalls hadnt been mucked in over ten years

 

their stalls hadn't been mucked in over ten years
they were crying and shit, can you imagine? reindeers with tears?

so we unlocked their stalls and we set them all free

 

So we unlocked their stalls and set them all free
And to pass some time we cut down a tree

Decorations and lights and a star on the top...

 

Decorations and lights and a star on the top...
oops,spilled my wine,we will now need a mop

grab a new bottle while i finish the tree

 

Grab a new bottle while i finish the tree
But make sure it doesnt fall down on me

Im only small, it would crush me flat..

 

I'm only small, it would crush me flat
You'd need much more than a mop to clean up after that

Buckets and bottles, filled with all sorts of detergents

 

Buckets and bottles, filled with all sorts of detergents
scrub you up like those dirty insurgents

hang the mistletoe on my belt buckle

 

Hang the mistletoe on my belt buckle,
If I play my cards right I'll give your mouth a good fuckle

Don't mock the size, it's cold out afterall..

 

Don't mock the size, it's cold out afterall..
Don't worry about that we'll still have a ball

but only in your dreams you so sad fucker

 

but only in your dreams you so sad fucker[lol]
here comes santa to give you a sucker

peta is protesting santas use of reindeer

 

peta is protesting santas use of reindeer
too much use of the whip is costing him dear

why not go motorised you sad old shit

 

why not go motorised you sad old shit
It'd be made in China, and he'd spend Christmas in the pit (stop)

No more deliveries for the young and the old

 

No more deliveries for the young and the old
You'll have to use body warmth from the cold

Santa isn't watching you bad bad girl...

 

Santa isn't watching you bad bad girl...
So come on ahead and let's give it a whirl...

Santa ain't watchin' cause Mrs Santa gone cougar and...

 

Santa ain't watchin' cause Mrs Santa gone couger and
rudolp is on strike and santa can't move him

not lookin' good for christmas sky travelling

 

not lookin' good for christmas sky travelling
The end of the world means the atmosphere's unravelling

Sorry Mr. Claus, the Mayans have fucked you over