absolutly p''d off with sex!

do you drink? i definitely find it easier to relax and let myself go when i'm a bit tipsy but not too drunk, the brain doesn't seem to get in the way as much as when i'm totally sober... . just a suggestion... and not to say do it every time.

 

i do drink occassionally but even a couple of bottles of wine dont work! i have a diazapin tablet let over from being shit scared to go to the dentist was thinking about that as it might just make me switch my brain off for a while, not really a good idea but well desparate time deserve desparate measures! its not really a route i would like to go down though as i see it as a sort of crutch, even a vibrator is that really isnt it?

 

I noticed something you said a few posts back about not having any desire to try and practice by yourself and when your husband is with you he is too rough. I think you should try and do it by yourself, I think you should try it in a setting where you feel most relaxed. For example, if you enjoy a bath, try it while taking a bath. If you really have never "discovered" yourself alone, i think you should start there. Your husband can show you all the websites, books, therapy sessions, dildos, vibrators, whatever, he wants to but he can't sho you what you need you have to find it for yourself. And the only way is self exploration. And not just the clit, touch yourself all over, the body has many errogenous (sp.) zones.

 

Like with everything, sometimes you just don't feel like having sex. Why should that be any different than other things. Unless it's a condition etc i would not worry. I didn't have sex for years, did not bother me at all.

 

this is the sticking point in our relationship, he wants me to be more sexual, however, i dont feel like that, never really have for a long time now, but he just doesnt actually put much into this change, he doesnt help me to feel things that i could use as a starting point! he has little to no interest in trying to encourage change in our bedroom, he sees that he hasnt got a problem its my problem, im expected to make all the changes by myself! it was me that went to the doctors and got the sextherapy started it was me that bought the vibrator, its me that looks at the web sites for help and inspiration, its me that goes into the bookshops. what more can i do?

last night ended up in a hugh row! everything was going well, so well in fact that on a scale of 1 -10 he, on his own without battery help, got me to a 9! then he just stopped, no warning just stopped. his excuse he thought i had cum! bollocks he thought like that 15 -20 years ago thats when the problems started cause he has got his satisfaction (he came) and then thats it! he looses interest with me, i feel like a domestic whore! he knows this, i have talked to him about it till the cows come home but it goes in one ear and out the other, he proclaims taht he wants to help me but his actions say different.
well it has come down to this now, he doesnt know this yet, as its his mums birthday party this weekend and i want to get that out of the way first but he is out of here on sunday. ive had enough, i cant go through this mental torture any more, ive had that from my parents all my life and i dont want to spend anymore time going through it again.
last night he sat there on the bed after well curled up in a ball actually, blaming himself, crying, i was just so annoyed with him, i didnt want him to be near me, i wish to god he would go and use someone else and find out what sex is about, get told from someone else that he really doesnt listen to what others want and need, and then once he has learnt and understood then come back because this so called learning curve is just about killing me.

 

I personally think he is causing you more harm then good. From what you are saying it sounds like not only is he causing tremendous pressure on you to have an orgasm he is also causing you to have a negitive self-image of yourself which probably isn't helping either. I can't imagine the pressure you must be feeling. When he leaves i highly recommend you doing it alone.

 

well, he does sound like a pillock, the way you describe him... sorry but.... if you say to somebody... 'you havent got a sexy bone in your body'.... would you really expect that person to feel turned on in your presence???, theyre more likey to be repelled by you... SO i wouldnt shag him, he sounds crap. and if he makes you feel 'used' then how are you going to enjoy it?

god he turns me off just thinking about him.. UGH.