another confused teenager's rant...

Ok, it took me a while to reply again, sorry.

I don't only seem like that, I feel like it too. And the inside of my head is way more chaotic than my posts make believe, trust me.

I do trust my therapist. It's just that I feel uncomfortable about this particular topic, and it's got to do more with me than with my therapist.

That is one of these true sentences people say so often you start to hate them (the phrases, not the people) because you can't accept them. Until you finally realize they're right.

I think the desire to fit into the label is one of the things causing the biggest amount of confusion ... at least for me. "Gay, bi, straight" just doesn't seem enough to categorize something like sexuality.
I agree with you that labels can be very useful (that's why I tried to find one for me so desperately), but they're no use at all if they make you feel more uncomfortable than secure.
I guess no matter how sure I feel now I will start questioning everything I write now again in a few days (it's always like that, blah), but for now I suppose I'm pretty happy with the label "bi with gay preference". I don't think I'll never be attracted to males, but I just can't imagine being in a relationship with one, while I can imagine being with a woman very well.

As for coming out to my family, I have decided I don't really need to until I'm in a serious relationship - that is to say, it could take another few years.
Waiting till I have a girlfriend also makes it possible to say: "Mum, I have a girlfriend." or "Mum, ____ and me are together." which would be a perfect way around language difficulties, because you can say that in German as well.

Rain

 

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I am glad you trust your therapist, otherwise I would suggest you look for another. And of course you feel uncomfortable about this particular topic, that's why you talk to your therapist about it! So that you will learn to be comfortable. You say to her "There's a subject I wish to talk about, but I am uncomfortable discussing it with anyone...." and take it from there.

You'll be surprised how easy it will be after you start in with it.



Summer Rain
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