Anxiety is a bitch

I get anxiety on occasion. However, it doesn't normally stop me from going out and doing things. Depression on the other hand, that can bed me for days.

 

My anxiety/panic issues don't stop me from doing things. If anything, they make me do even more so that I can get my mind off of what I'm obsessing over health-wise.

My worst complaint is the racing heart, the palpitations, the "oh my goodness, I feel like I'm going crazy" feeling, the feeling like I can't breathe, the nag, nag, nag worry when I shouldn't be so worried, considering I've been dubbed "healthy as a horse" by my physician. But I also worry that they missed something, that I'm a ticking time bomb about to go off at any second. Any minor ailment makes me thinks I'm going to die. Ridiculous, I know it. But I also realize why I am this way, what caused it, and that's my near-death experience I had with the birth of my twins. You'd think after nearly 6 years I'd have gotten through a lot of that, but for some reason, it's gotten worse.

Sucks really. But...I'm trying to learn to muddle through and hope for some peace of mind. I hate living obsessing over dying.

 

Oh, and my top health fears are cancer and heart failure. I mean, I don't just think about them on occasion, I obsess over them. It's a near constant fear that I can't seem to get over. I'm terribly embarassed by it, I feel like an idiot, a total nut case. I can reconize how irrational I'm being, but how to stop it is another issue!