Are People Turned Off By Strong Women

I am a bit of a guy in a girls body (even though i am only attracted to guys) what i want to say is that my personality can be sometimes "strong", and people feel really thratened about this, but u know what i have noticed? women can feel unconfortable being aroung me, because i don't like to talk the tipycal girl talk, i actually feel more comfortable among guys (if the are not the dominant type).

 

Your blasse attitude towards screaming is disturbing for someone (me) who grew up in a home with a mother who yells a lot. I cannot see why you would want to do that to each other. But if that's what you like to do, I supose that you should find a woman who doesn't mind (!). But I still don't see what this has to do with a thread about strength.

Before you have children (You don't have children yet, do you?), you should think about the possible effects of constant screaming on the life of a child. Whatever you think now, if you serriously consider it, you will probably realise that yelling when not really upset is not a healthy sign. And when you are upset, yelling about it is probably not the best way to deal with it.

 

I sure hope. considering who's in office now!!

 

i HAVE noticed that when i'm looking really hot, people don't mind my forthrightness. when i'm not all dolled-up, they hate me.

 

see, a point to prove the case: "NOOOOO NOTHING HOT ABOUT YOU SWEET HAHT. OOOOOBNOXIOUS TO THE T! GOOD GOD"

this person doesn't like my opinions and manner of expressing them, and therefore attacks my physical appearance. childish, yes, but honest.

 

screaming and yelling are different

and frankly I think that your arrogance in applying your perspective to all of humanity is truly disgusting

some people express themselves through yelling, I don't express anger through yelling, you may, I don't

I believe that yelling is a much more energy burning practice then quietly talking, it resolves emotions, it gets shit out of the way, you don't have festering wounds or resentment, that has got to be more healthy than reaching an incomplete resolution and not working it out because you don't want it to escalate to raised voices, maybe talking it out in a reasonable fashion works for some people, I don't think emotions are at all reasonable so I feel it foolish to attempt to apply reason to them

I do not have children (my god I'm 18 what on earth are you thinking) and I likely never will, but if I do I want them to be able to resolve their emotions however they feel they have to, if they feel that means a little bit of yelling, go for it, enough yelling gets you tired enough you forget what you were yelling about anyway. hell absorbing their yelling would be easier then arguing with them, always has been in my experience

seriously if you have a problem with yelling that is your life, you were scarred, I got yelled at too, I took my own lessons out of it, now I sure as hell know you'll derive something about how I'm damaged from this, go ahead, draw your conclusion

I know I stood as a rock before simple words knowing that it was simple vibration of air

you were hurt by it

maybe that means I'm a heartless bastard, maybe that means I'm realistic, I have a good idea what your option will be, I know what mine is.

 

i hold strong opinions and dont often miss an opportunity to voice them...but i dont have a closed mind and will never intentionally embarrass anyone with my views.. I work in a mainly male dominated environment...i need to be assertive..but i rarely encounter personality problems... you just need to balance opinion with listening..and understand that theres never right or wrong..just sometimes there could be a better way...and if there justr remember...theres also strength in humility...
pabsy

 

I'm sorry. I don't quite understand what you're saying. First off, I don't understand the difference between screaming and yelling. Second, you say that you don't yell out of anger. But you also say that you use it as a way of resolving emotions instead of letting them fester and form resentments. That is language that most people use to describe unexpressed anger. What emotions were you speaking of? Would you NOT yell if you were angry?

Of course, yelling about your emotions is better than not discussing them at all. And that is not what I am proposing. Nor that yelling should be entirely forbidden. But I have rarely seen anything actually resolved through yelling. More often, it ends up degenerating the conversation to the point where things can be expressed, but not resolved. The resolution comes later, when people are calmer. Please give me an example of when you resolved something through yelling.

I didn't meen to insult you, and I don't think that I was being arrogant. I am applying my perspective to all humanity. When other people tell me theirs, I integrate that into my own. What else is one to do? I found the experience harmfull. Many others have too. Few have disagreed, and none with better arguments than yours.

Of course you have a heart. And I'm not going to make circular arguments. We agree that it is a habit passed on from parent to child, as so many things are. We disagree in that I think it is damaging and you don't.

 

when i left home, i promised myself that i wasn't going to be a yeller. and i've held to that promise. my parents yelled at each other all the time, and finally neither listened to the other. yelling shuts down listeners, puts them on the defensive, and escalates emotions rather than resolving them. people end up all hurt over HOW the argument was enacted, rather than WHY the argument was enacted. yeah, i get a good yell in every now and then, but not in the midst of a highly emotional discussion.

 

There is a really profound thing, here. I have noticed the same thing. It is like attractive looking womyn are "allowed" to do more, given more lee way, even more strong things, than womyn who aren't looking their best.

 

i plumb piss people the fuck off stating the same opinion un-made up that i express when i'm made up. and it's funny, because i've had peple totally hate me without make up and nice clothes, but don't recognize me or know me at all the next time when they see me made up and dressed. and when they next meet me, totally forgetting the last time they met me, they love me. go figure. i guess they just can't help it.

 

KC, "attractive" womyn are allowed more. They are given more, they are forgiven more and they are given attributes that "unattrative womyn" are not given, JUST on their looks. You and I and all the womyn here have witnessed this ourselves. And been the victim of it.

And some say womyn are "superficial?" Allowing someone more leeway with assertiveness because she looks good is as Superficial as it gets. And ALL womyn experience it.

Profound stuff, sister. Indeed.

 

you know, my older brother was the golden boy. handsome, charming, all-star athlete, and i just couldn't believe the shit he got away with. mind you, i couldn't begrudge him that, but he was just handed quite a lot without ever having to really work for it. it's kicking his ass now, life's a lot harder for a 32 year old ex-golden boy.

 

Yeah, I don't think that pretty people being treeted better is a particularly feminine issue. Of course attractive people get treeted better. That's a big part of what defines attractive, and that's why people go so far out of their way to be attractive. And just as it sucks for the ugly, it's great for the beautifull. I see women abuse their beauty power to get stuff all the time.

 

i could relate to this. if i dress up pretty, wear makeup, feminine hairstyle, jewelry, ruffles and lace, keep my voice gentle and smile alot i can say anything at all to a man and he won't get mad. but if i dress plain, don't do anything to my hair except wash it and comb it, no makeup, and speak in a blunt, matter-of-fact fashion i can piss them off with a comment about the weather! it's a very interesting psychodynamic. i think it's true that dressing 'feminine' is a submissive gesture, and as long as you're acting submissive you're less likely to run into trouble with men. sucks.

peace,

pansy

 

you don't understand because on a fundamental level you assume everyone is like you


it's basist human arrogance

we extrapolate with our own experience

 

it's true, attractive peple in general are given more, treated nicer and are listened to more attentively. it's just how it is.

 

I watch people, and try to understand them. One of the phenomenons I've noticed is the amazingly beautifull woman who doesn't have to try. She constantly has people crawling all over her, trying to satisfy her every desire. It's not her fault. But it is her reality, and she comes to expect it. I worry about her when she grows out of her beauty and has to start taking care of herself.

 

Oh come on. You can't wiggle out that easily. I asked you a couple questions.

 

I hate strong women. It's just the mightier than thou attitude that goes with it. Fat chicks with cute faces kinda have that attitude.