Are you comfortable talking about your other lovers with your bf or gf?

Yes, I like to hear her stories and also share mine with her. We're very secure in our relationship. I like that she still gets turned on when she retells past encounters and I learn more about what (and who) she likes. I can imagine those intimate moments she's had with others because I know her so well. We keep very few secrets from each other and it makes for great sex.

 

My fiance and I are the same way. I'm comfortable talking about my other partner with my fiance but he doesn't really ask about it. I guess it makes him jealous.

He also doesn't like to talk about his encounter before we met either. It was a one-time thing (his first time) that was really bad and he hates to talk about it. It kind of bugs me that he doesn't want to tell me more. Just because he's a loyal, shy, and sweet guy. Knowing he had a one night stand is very out of character. And when I think about it I wonder if there's a part of him I don't know about.

 

We share certain stories. Mostly the ones about no strings attached sex we've had with other people in the past. People/things from your past that you DON'T want to remember would be an exception. Otherwise, there is no jealousy or insecurity involved, and I think that's pretty healthy. It's quite hot to hear about her 'wild' phase, if you know what I mean.

 

I've never wanted to know details of my partners' past experiences, and even though I've grown to be much more open-minded and secure over the years I still feel that way for the most part. I hope all of their experiences were great (ok, I know they weren't all great, but I wish they had been) I just don't want to hear about them. I do think it would be very liberating to feel no jealousy whatsoever, but I'm not exactly there yet. Then again, I'm not sure how useful it would be to talk about the past. I know what my wife likes and dislikes at this point in our lives, and what she used to experience seems to have little relevance. Same for my past.

 

We talk about our X's. Its not a problem on either side. We dont do all of the intimate details tho, or compare our X's to our relationship, its not nessesary, we have what it takes to make it what we want. But the conversations do come up, even with things like, My X used to do that... About using the remote for instance.
He doesnt care that I had a past and I dont either. We are not 17 and we know we had a past life of others that happened. Big deal,,, its all part of us having met now.
He is honest and would say if it bothered him. He speaks his mind well and so do I so its a two way street here.

 

I don't give a shit if her ex used the remote the same way I do. I just want to hear all the details of how, when, where all of them fucked her.

 

We dont do all of that "what they did in bed" stuff because we have our own thing goin on. I dont want to end up doing what his X's did, remember they arent together anymore,,, I want to do what we find works for us. We talk aboit that.
Our X's only come up in LMAO kinda conversations or when we see a funny familiar event kinda thing. Its more about a funny memory.

 

Boo GTFO Queen shit.

 

When I first started dating my girlfriend she felt compelled to divulge the amount of men she had slept with because she thought it was an unusually high amount but she first asked me if I wanted to hear it. I thought it was a bit peculiar but I'm also quite secure and open so agreed to listen. Afterwards she started asking about my exs and I really couldn't give any accurate responce because I had shuffled most of it off of my memories.
Since then we have engaged in fantastic conversations about all kinds of details of our ex's and past sex experiences. Its been fun, enlightening and very entertaining. We have both gone into great detail of some of the best previous encounters, partners and pinnacle experiences that gave us a greater sense of what we Prefered and enjoyed. Using this information has had a directly positive impact on our own sex as we have been able to always take it to the next step. I never had such fantastic open communcation with any lover and now that I have I would never have it any other way.

 

well the saddest thing for me is that my wife was 26.5 when we met (june 1989) and she was a virgin (university educated catholic filipino) and i proposed to her on xmas day 1989 and that same night we slept together, so i was her first lover, so unfortunately she cant divulge anything to me except for a boyfriend she had in college when she was 17 or 18 who she went to the movies with once, and she told me she knew he got an erection while kissing but that was it, and the only other ventures with sex was her masturbation, which was only the usual clitoral rub every now and then.

unfortunately i gave up telling people she was a virgin at 27 because they either reacted by saying "bullshit" and implied i was lying, or thought she probably lied to me.

she knows i had several lovers in the past, and over time she would ask me about them, and is perfectly ok with it, as she should be, but i never once talked about it unless she instigated the conversation.

edit: oh, except for our monthly joint couples massage with her best friend and her partner, she has had no other experience.