Are you detached?

That is displacement, rationalization, projection; whatever you might want to call it. Feeling is: FEAR! It's much more immediate and prior to any discursive or outcome/validation-dependent thought.

What you do with that fear is the rub. You can project it (as a way to rid yourself of it) or you can welcome it. There is no peak competitive performance without it, though fear may feel more like excitement when you let yourself have it.

 

I will try to give an example. There are people in my life I care about. I want the best for them.

I can care for them but I understand they have their own evolution and destiny. They are here on earth for their own spiritual evolution.

Because they have their own destiny, I can want the best for them. But in truth I do not know what is in their best interest.

Also, I can love someone in a detached way. But again they are here for their own growth and learning.

If they choose not to love me I do not hold my entire self worth based on what they think or do.

They have their own path in life. So getting emotionally torn on what someone outside of myself does is unnecessary.

We are here for our own learning. Allow others that same right without letting it effect your self esteem.

Try picking up a girl when you are desperate. Girls can smell desperation.

Try getting a job when you desperately want it to pay bills. The person interviewing you will sense it and it reminds them of their own insecurities. You will not get the job.

The Tao of life is unemotional. It might have aspirations for us, but it is eternally patent with us. It allows us to be a stupid as we want to be for as long as we want it to be.

 

I have a personal motto:

"Aim for the best, expect mountains of shit"

That is what detachment means to me.

 

I think unacknowledged desperation might not get you the girl or the job, but outward, open, proud desperation suddenly might be explained by many as "drive."

It's when I say, I shouldn't feel this way that I get paralysis by analysis and can't perform.

 

What I am talking about in regard to girls is getting emotionally involved on whether she say yes or no to you.

Some guys will get so worked up about one girl saying yes.

The fact of the matter is there is a whole planet that has millions of beautiful girls.

What one girl says in the infinity of all things is nothing.

Motivation is not desperation. Desperation is emotional attachment.

 

ok...you guys are getting very deep into this...I will admit..I will be checking some definitions of several words shortly[cherea]...I often seek detachment through the wonders of marijuana but experience short bursts of attachment in order to live up to my societal obligations and to keep to a level of responsibility that i can live with...as soon as i'm safe i tend to then detatch

 

yeah, i'm usually detached. but not always.

public would prefer that as well.

 

I am talking about detachment in all situations and I think that is what the other guys are talking about too. Its about being aware and in control of your attachment to others, to outcomes and to your emotions. So essentially you're still attached, and not burying that attachment with things like marijuana, and yet detached enough so that none of your social obligations, desires or feelings get in the way of your ability to see things clearly.

A more simple way to put it, is to love others, hope for the best and to listen to your feelings but always stay on the level and not let any of those desires get the best of you.

I don't know about anybody else, but I found this a hard concept to grasp at first and it wasn't until about 23-24 that I was able to see it clearly.

 

I am telling all of you.

Detachment is the key to wealth, success and happiness.

I can tell you this and hope some of you listen to what I am posting.

But do I care?

Nope. I am to busy with my life and goals. Why would I care?

If you think I am full of crap, does that hurt my feelings?

Naw, you all are just words on my computer screen.

 

We're all pretty much saying, or at least trying to say the same thing as you, if you didn't know that already.

 

Personally I do not care. I post for my amusement. Plus I am bored.

Is it okay with you if I post what I think in Random Thoughts?

 

yes i am detached. and i like it that way.

 

i don't think i am detatched, because i have the emotions, i just don't show them very much, but they are there. Through a paticular period of sadness of anger i will bottle it weeks and then it will just all errupt, usually at my hubby, bless him. although i very rarely show overt happiness. and i never cry in front of anyone except my hubby.

 

Yes, I am quite detached. Nothing really matters, so I don't get all worked up over stuff. Of course I have emotions, and they influence me, but I go to reason, rationality and logic when it comes to making decisions.

 

I'm not really detached. Usually I'm happy, I just think of things and end up smiling like a goof to myself. I could try to keep it in to myself but where would the fun be in that?

 

i have felt detached from life the last two months. not in a depressive way, figuratively. but rather in a literal way, literally.

i have nothing to do. no obligations, no responsiblities, no bills.

why should i attach, or care?

peculair.

 

Same here I think.

About the why, it isn't always a choice.

 

I'm very detached when it comes to major things..

Deaths
Divorces
Bad News (Cancer, etc)

But not with minor things...

Late essay
TV program
Fight with sister

...

Coping mechanism I assume.

 

i'm kind of the same. the only things that really upset me are video games and traffic.

 

Traffic